kasstout
Sun, Nov-23-08, 13:35
Hi everyone, Im kassie. Im 26 years old, i just got married in april and i work for a hospice organization. If theres one thing to know about working in healthcare it that we are so busy taking care of everyone else, that we often neglect ourselves. My job requires me to be in the car for hours at a time. I found myself living off fastfood, soda(not diet) and cigarettes. It was nothing for me to wake up at 7am, drink coffee till noon, grab a 32oz mt dew and a snickers and then not eat again until maybe 8pm. Then i would make spaghetti or hamburger helper. Finish off my night with a few beers and collapse into bed around 10pm.
I felt tired. I felt uncomfortable in clothes other than scrubs. Everytime i moved i had to readjust my clothing. I felt self concious and fat. I felt unhealthy. My husband and friends have always told me that i was beautiful. I have never had trouble getting dates. Nobody had ever commented or made fun of my weight. I tricked myself into thinking that maybe i was supposed to look like this. So who cares what i ate or drank. Who cares if "they" dont. Why at 26 years old did i have a drawer full of body shapers and control top underwear? Why. Was it because my mother had been a yoyo dieter my whole life and had me going to jazzercise and weight watchers with her at the age of 5? Was it because noone had ever pointed out to me that i was huge. maybe if i had been made fun of i would have caught this problem before it became so large.
My moment of awakening came when i wasnt looking for it. (Which i believe is when the best things in life do come to you). I was at a patients house on thursday morning and she wanted to weigh her self. I helped her do so and figured "hell, i havent been on a scale for months, why not" I think i weighed around 220lbs in april for my wedding. I almost had a stroke when the scale read 233lbs. Thats 13lbs in 7months. WHAT!!!!! I decided to make a change at that very moment. I sat and looked at what i lived off of. SUGAR. no veggies,no fruits hardly any protein. no water. sugar and caffeine. im surprised i havent had a stroke yet.
I started doing some research that night and realized that not only was i gaining weight from my lifestyle, but a million other things were because of all that sugar. My bipolar cycles were more rapid and severe, i have pcos, insomnia, tiredness, moodswings, cystitis, acne, cavities, indegestion, headaches and the list goes on.
My first day of lcing was not so bad(i think because i was busy at work and really mad). Second day ok. Saturday was day 3 and it was a hard one. I realized so much about my body that i didnt know. I was unable to distinguish being hungry from being bored. I just drank water everytime i felt hungry. I stayed online for hours looking at support groups and success stories and weight height charts and grocery lists and recipes. I felt like a drug addict coming down. I stuck it out. I could not sleep last night. When i got up this morning i felt amazing. I wasnt hungry. I have not had any shakes, or headaches or constant thinking of food like the last 2 days. I dont even feel like eating snacks. My husband says im crazy for starting this right before the holidays but for the first time in my life i am not unsure of myself. I havent even cheated or thought about cheating. I make two different meals one for my carbaholic husband and one for me.
I know that was a lot of words for an intro but i dont really have anyone to talk to about this journey. My friends think im crazy for doing it, my husband says he loves me just the way i am. But I DONT.
What i would like to get from this site is any advice or tips people have to offer. I love reading success stories. I have no idea how much weight i need to lose. Some charts say a 5'10 female should weigh between 133 and 170. I honestly think i would look like death warmed over if i only weighed that much but who knows....I never have. Thanks for readin, cant wait to meet you all.
I felt tired. I felt uncomfortable in clothes other than scrubs. Everytime i moved i had to readjust my clothing. I felt self concious and fat. I felt unhealthy. My husband and friends have always told me that i was beautiful. I have never had trouble getting dates. Nobody had ever commented or made fun of my weight. I tricked myself into thinking that maybe i was supposed to look like this. So who cares what i ate or drank. Who cares if "they" dont. Why at 26 years old did i have a drawer full of body shapers and control top underwear? Why. Was it because my mother had been a yoyo dieter my whole life and had me going to jazzercise and weight watchers with her at the age of 5? Was it because noone had ever pointed out to me that i was huge. maybe if i had been made fun of i would have caught this problem before it became so large.
My moment of awakening came when i wasnt looking for it. (Which i believe is when the best things in life do come to you). I was at a patients house on thursday morning and she wanted to weigh her self. I helped her do so and figured "hell, i havent been on a scale for months, why not" I think i weighed around 220lbs in april for my wedding. I almost had a stroke when the scale read 233lbs. Thats 13lbs in 7months. WHAT!!!!! I decided to make a change at that very moment. I sat and looked at what i lived off of. SUGAR. no veggies,no fruits hardly any protein. no water. sugar and caffeine. im surprised i havent had a stroke yet.
I started doing some research that night and realized that not only was i gaining weight from my lifestyle, but a million other things were because of all that sugar. My bipolar cycles were more rapid and severe, i have pcos, insomnia, tiredness, moodswings, cystitis, acne, cavities, indegestion, headaches and the list goes on.
My first day of lcing was not so bad(i think because i was busy at work and really mad). Second day ok. Saturday was day 3 and it was a hard one. I realized so much about my body that i didnt know. I was unable to distinguish being hungry from being bored. I just drank water everytime i felt hungry. I stayed online for hours looking at support groups and success stories and weight height charts and grocery lists and recipes. I felt like a drug addict coming down. I stuck it out. I could not sleep last night. When i got up this morning i felt amazing. I wasnt hungry. I have not had any shakes, or headaches or constant thinking of food like the last 2 days. I dont even feel like eating snacks. My husband says im crazy for starting this right before the holidays but for the first time in my life i am not unsure of myself. I havent even cheated or thought about cheating. I make two different meals one for my carbaholic husband and one for me.
I know that was a lot of words for an intro but i dont really have anyone to talk to about this journey. My friends think im crazy for doing it, my husband says he loves me just the way i am. But I DONT.
What i would like to get from this site is any advice or tips people have to offer. I love reading success stories. I have no idea how much weight i need to lose. Some charts say a 5'10 female should weigh between 133 and 170. I honestly think i would look like death warmed over if i only weighed that much but who knows....I never have. Thanks for readin, cant wait to meet you all.