My Greatest Fear!

[DeeX2]

I think my greatest fear about losing a lot of weight, is that I will have tons of loose flabby skin just hanging. I know I could never afford to have surgery to correct it, so that would not be an option for me.

What I need to know is if there is a way to prevent it, other than not to lose weight. :confused: Or should I just start a savings for the day I reach goal and need surgery?

Anyone else have this fear or know of ways to prevent it?

[ldypgmr]

Hi DeeX

OK, here is what I know from the research I have done....

1st of all, make sure you are taking good care of your face. Lotion your face with a quality facial lotion 2x daily. I use Mary Kay or the Oil of Ole' products. Make sure you clean your face and defoiliate before you apply lotion. Stroke your face in the right direction to support the facial muscles instead of tearing them down. Also learn how to do facial exercises to help build the muscles back in your face. The lotion helps keep the skin supple and the exercises encourages the skin to stay tight.

Next make sure you are doing some weight lifting. Some sources believe that when a muscle group is worked, it triggers the skin to tone. Lotion your body as well to help keep the skin supple. I hate putting on lotion, so I use the Oil of Ole' mosturizing body wash. It has worked well so far.

Third, take some supplement(s) that help the skin to maintain or regain it's flexibility. I take Colostrum which is "suppose" to help maintain and improve the skins flexibility. As well as increase engergy etc etc.

Also, it is also believed that the slower you loose the weight, the less flab you will have. The skin has more time to adjust. In another board I participate in, people have said that the flab will decrease with time. Some plastic surgeons refuse to do surgery until you have maintain your weight for a year. This is for a couple of reasons: 1) if you start regaining the weight after the surgery you can get into trouble quickly, 2) it is felt that it takes a year for the skin to adjust.

Forth, if all else fails, the national burn center will sometimes pay for the operation to remove the flabby skin, as long as you donate the skin to the burn center for use on burn patients. I call that a win/win situation. I am not sure what the guidelines are for qualifing for this program, you may want to keep it in mind.

I am doing what I can to minimize the flab, understanding that my sister who has never weighed more than 110 pounds in her life has flabby arms and legs<g>. I figure that 1 year after getting the weight off, I will decide what to do then.

Keep your chin up, don't let it sag :)

Dee

[LC_Dave]

I too, share this fear.

I'm not afraid of affording the surgery. It's the surgery itself that scares the hell out of me!

Some low carb plans are a lot higher in carbs than others, and thus the weight loss is slower.

This might be a better a better approach.

I echo the need for weight training. I'm not talking lifting weights in aerobics, or circuit training. Proper anaerobic lifting of weights is a really good way to get toned.

Don't worry, you won't turn into a beefy body builder overnight - thats very hard to do. By lifting weights - men and women tone and grow their natuarlly sized muscles. Everything tightens up!

LC_Dave

[DeeX2]

Thanks so much you two for the wonderful information! I am going to start using your advice on the lotion tomorrow morning, and I will get on a weight program as soon as I get some weights! :agree:

With lots of hard work, perhaps I wont have much to worry about, and push come to shove, I can always check out the donation of flab to a burn unit, we do have one not to far from me! :D

[alto]

I've seen this question posted often, and when people who have lost a lot of weight answer, they all give different answers. Most of all, it seems to depend on the condition of one's skin. If your skin is resilient, you won't have the problem. If it's not, you may. Exercise definitely helps, but.....

I hope no one will let the fear of loose skin stop him or her from losing weight. Those of us in the Triple Digits Club, especially, MUST lose weight for health reasons. Lose weight first, worry later :)

[In_Control]

How much is surgery to correct this? Gosh...and the pain. I wonder if age is a factor as well?

Thanks for the info though.

[xochitl]

you know i have the same issue along with what i am going to look like.

i have a friend that went crazy after loosing weight. she is way out of control. she lost weight, got out of a failed marriage and went men crazy. she did have surgery (weightloss). i don't want to go that route. but to each his own.

i pray that i remain sane. i have heard of people still believing they are overweight even after loosing.

[pennink]

I lost 133 pounds a few years ago and the only loose skin I had was on my tummy which was easily concealed with clothing and spanx!
This time, it's looking like it'll be the same.

My biggest fear is I'll stay this size and die long before I should. I really couldn't care less about loose skin any more.

BTW, you're not that heavy, you mght have some bat wing arms (which tighten up with pilates) and some tummy sag or apron, just lose, do ab-tightening exercises and strength training.

[kevsmama]

I worry about losing alot of weight and have the skin sags too-I watched the shows on tv about the stomach surgery and then the people having surgery to cut off the extra skin-so far I have lost 90 pounds and have another 80 to go and right now my arms are a little flabby but am trying to do arm exercises and my lower stomach is getting flabby-but with that area I can't wait for the fat to go away and just have the skin left-I will deal with that when it happens! No matter what I just have to lose the weight, I have a 5yr old and I want to still be alive and able to move around when he graduates high school! To me that is the motivation I need, that and I don't want the school kids to make fun of him because of MY weight, like they did to me about my mother.

[ValerieL]

First, sorry to burst someone's hopes, but burn units don't use skin from living donors. This myth has been circulating for ages and it's not true. A number of times I've seen posts from people that have actually called and asked and the response is always that this is a fallacy. If they need that much skin, they use an organ donor that has died.

Second, the amount of loose sagging skin you get will have more to do with genetics, age, amount of weight lost and number of times you've gained & lost that weight than it will to do with pilates, skin brushing, supplements, weight training or lotions. Not to say that those things won't make a minor difference, but if you are going to have bad problems, they won't make a big difference.

In my experience, you can tell *now* how much trouble you'll have with loose skin. How loose is it now? At my top weight, my skin was destroyed already. My bat wings were huge & floppy. My stomach already had an "apron" of skin & fat. If your skin is already loose & floppy, it's not going to improve with losing weight. If your skin feels tight and taut, even if it's over a lot of fat, you probably won't have much trouble.

But don't let skin concerns stop you from losing weight!

[xochitl]

thanks, i've got the dunlap going on. i remember in college when i first started seeing a little bump of it. i was like "what's that?". i was a thick shapley girl and was proud of my curves.

my curves are now a box. i remember running into this guy that liked me, but i wasn't feeling him. he said "oh my gosh, what did you do?" "you use to be so fine!"

well...then people were asking if i was preggers, and after a while, i'd just say "yeah".

i wasn't at all ! heck wasn't even dating. so sad.

then my cousin's son's mother left my baby cousin at 2 weeks old. she just left, couldn't handle being a mother, so i raised him from 5 months to 5 years old. i used to hear women say, oh it's fat from the baby. so when i was with the baby i'd assume my fatness was excuseable because i had the baby with me (although he wasn't mine and i didn't "have" him). but noone
really said much of anything, like it was acceptable.

at 35 i want kids, but my obgyn says loose weight first. but i think i will wait a while before the kids cause i do want to enjoy my new body when it comes together.

and besides i want to be a "hot" mom. not the one i was portraying to keep people off my fatness !

dayum i was so sad back then. 26 young and soooo ugjhhh !
dang i ahven't been candid about this EVER !

[j13]

I've got some loose skin, and I'd really like to get surgery when I get to where I'm going. Don't know if or when I'll be able to afford it, but I hope it's in my future.

My biggest fear, however, is stoked by this thread - look at the date it was started - 2002. Now look at how many of the people who posted in it actually got to their goals.

My fear is falling off and not getting to where I want to be. That's why I worry about right now and not some distant point in the future when I may or may not have way too much excess skin, uncomfortable attention from other people - whatever. I worry about now because I don't want people coming on here in 5 years seeing that I never did what I set out to do.

-j.

[j13]

dang i ahven't been candid about this EVER !

That's what the TDC is for. :bhug:

-j.

[molmerlin]

.

My biggest fear, however, is stoked by this thread - look at the date it was started - 2002. Now look at how many of the people who posted in it actually got to their goals.

My fear is falling off and not getting to where I want to be. That's why I worry about right now and not some distant point in the future when I may or may not have way too much excess skin, uncomfortable attention from other people - whatever. I worry about now because I don't want people coming on here in 5 years seeing that I never did what I set out to do.

-j.

WOW. I was thinking the exact thing. One of the coolest thing on this forum is that so many people that have achieved their goal, STILL come here to encourage and advise. They give us hope.

[faduckeggs]

I've lost 50 pounds so far. The skin everywhere seems to be snapping back -- except the skin on my stomach and breasts. The lower abs, especially, just look hideous.

But, my abs (and my whole body) looked much, much worse 50 pounds ago.

My fear is that I get frustrated, quit, regain to an even higher number, have ehalth complications, yoyo for a few more years, and eventually die young due to what my weight has doen to my body.

I can live with saggy abs.

[ValerieL]

The reality is that low-carbing has never demonstrated a better long term success rate than any other weight loss method. A good portion of the people on the forum will not succeed and a good portion that do, will regain eventually.

I always worry when I see someone talking about how they will never go back to the old weight, how it is gone forever and how they will never, ever eat that high carb crap again, especially if they've only been doing low-carb for a short period of time.

The reality is that most of us will regain our weight and we will go back to eating carbs all the time. I think being aware of that *likelihood* is the best defense against it happening. Instead of assuming it can't or won't happen to me, I've concentrated this time on the fact that it's very likely to happen to me again.

Constant vigilance. I don't rely on this being a way of life or a habit because those things can and do fail. I've done this long enough that it is pretty much second nature, but I think much of my success at maintaining my weight loss for over three years now has been being from assuming I *could* lose control almost anytime and being vigilant and diligent in doing the things that keep me on track, like coming to the forum, exercising, weighing daily, and being honest and open when I do make mistakes with my food so I'm not hiding it.

Val

[j13]

The reality is that low-carbing has never demonstrated a better long term success rate than any other weight loss method. A good portion of the people on the forum will not succeed and a good portion that do, will regain eventually.

I always worry when I see someone talking about how they will never go back to the old weight, how it is gone forever and how they will never, ever eat that high carb crap again, especially if they've only been doing low-carb for a short period of time.

The reality is that most of us will regain our weight and we will go back to eating carbs all the time. I think being aware of that *likelihood* is the best defense against it happening. Instead of assuming it can't or won't happen to me, I've concentrated this time on the fact that it's very likely to happen to me again.

Constant vigilance. I don't rely on this being a way of life or a habit because those things can and do fail. I've done this long enough that it is pretty much second nature, but I think much of my success at maintaining my weight loss for over three years now has been being from assuming I *could* lose control almost anytime and being vigilant and diligent in doing the things that keep me on track, like coming to the forum, exercising, weighing daily, and being honest and open when I do make mistakes with my food so I'm not hiding it.

Val

My defense so far has been that the terror of going back still hasn't left me. I mean, I still have a way to go to get to my goal, but I am actively afraid every single day of going back where I was. Terrified. Terrified of even going back to being just 300, which for me was (I'm fairly sure) lighter than I'd been since middle school. My life before I lost was so miserable...just awful. I'd degraded to a really scary point. I remember it every day and am scared of it every day.

I know for a fact that I could go back if I don't keep to it. I need to actively keep my head in it because I know that I'm a food addict, and in just the little over 1 1/2 years since I started here I've seen all the people who have come and gone, the people who've started, stopped and restarted, the people who never really started but came in with bravado (sometimes multiple times) talking a big game. I know from watching this that I am fighting long, long odds to reach my goal and then to keep it off - especially being that I had the mentality that got me to where I was in the first place. And that scares the life out of me, because I know that if I go back there I will die.

Bravado from people always scares me, too, for a couple of reasons. First, as was discussed in this thread (http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthread.php?t=342836), I really don't think you can survive for the long haul that TDCers are in for running on passion alone. Second, I haven't noticed anyone who's been successful long-term that was also cocky. It seems like pretty much all of the successful people who've kept it off have been humble (humbled, perhaps, by their past experiences), rational and honest about what they're doing. And it's hard to be rational and honest about your actions without being humble, because we are all so thoroughly human.

-j.

[molmerlin]

My defense so far has been that the terror of going back still hasn't left me. I mean, I still have a way to go to get to my goal, but I am actively afraid every single day of going back where I was. Terrified. Terrified of even going back to being just 300, which for me was (I'm fairly sure) lighter than I'd been since middle school. My life before I lost was so miserable...just awful. I'd degraded to a really scary point. I remember it every day and am scared of it every day.

I know for a fact that I could go back if I don't keep to it. I need to actively keep my head in it because I know that I'm a food addict, and in just the little over 1 1/2 years since I started here I've seen all the people who have come and gone, the people who've started, stopped and restarted, the people who never really started but came in with bravado (sometimes multiple times) talking a big game. I know from watching this that I am fighting long, long odds to reach my goal and then to keep it off - especially being that I had the mentality that got me to where I was in the first place. And that scares the life out of me, because I know that if I go back there I will die.

Bravado from people always scares me, too, for a couple of reasons. First, as was discussed in this thread (http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthread.php?t=342836), I really don't think you can survive for the long haul that TDCers are in for running on passion alone. Second, I haven't noticed anyone who's been successful long-term that was also cocky. It seems like pretty much all of the successful people who've kept it off have been humble (humbled, perhaps, by their past experiences), rational and honest about what they're doing. And it's hard to be rational and honest about your actions without being humble, because we are all so thoroughly human.

-j.

Another great, post. thank you You make a lot of sense.

[molmerlin]

being honest and open when I do make mistakes with my food so I'm not hiding it.

Val

I wonder if it would be better to think of these as choices, rather than mistakes? I know it is semantics. And I admire your determination and success. I think we need to change our mindset, the way we think about things. Sometimes we make a choice. Knowing it is not a great LC choice.
Just like everyone likes to call this a WOE instead of a diet. I think a big part of losing and maintaining is changing our thought process, which is more difficult for me than following any rules

In any case, you have done a great job with your weight control. Plus so many of your posts are very grounded and down to earth. thank you

[katwoman]

Very very good points Val and J13. I did lose my focus and regain--and it took me a very long time to be able to recommit to LC again. My biggest fear is losing that focus again. I made a statement in my journal yesterday that I know I have it in me to make it to goal and maintain--if I don't let myself get sidetracked by stress and other things. I don't know if I have it in me to restart again if I were to fall off the wagon and regain it--to start over from 280 again? To bust through the 240s set point again? To find what I call the LC mindset again? I'm not sure I could do it. And that fear--my greatest fear--is what keeps me in line.

Having said that, however, I HAVE to tell myself that this is a lifestyle and that I'll never go back where I was. Saying that doesn't mean I don't realize it's a possibility--it just means I couldn't do all this work if I didn't believe I can beat the odds. Maybe sometimes a cocky attitude isn't so much cocky--as bravado--whistling in the dark so to speak. Knowing there are things in the dark that could trip us at any moment--but still believing we'll reach the light safely in the end--and then live in the light for the rest of our lives.

LC is the easiest program I've ever done, but that doesn't mean it's an easy fix for my problems. If my food issues were only physical it might be, but I can't separate the emotional from the physical when it comes to how I've used and abused food most of my life. I know I'll spend the rest of my life fighting this battle (Val's honesty is an open window into maintenance). I know I'll make decisions every day of my life that mean the difference between success and failure. But I'm cocky enough to BELIEVE I'm going to win this time. Saggy skin? Need for surgery? Probably--but the trade off is better health, improved self-confidence, improved appearance, improved chance at more years with my family. . .I HAVE to believe I'll win.

[xochitl]

you guys are reading my mind huh? saying it isn't so.
he he. yeah i was one that started in '06 after a major break-up. i was trying to get back the part of me that i lost for so long.

i posted a few times, life got in the way and before i knew it, i was back on the fast food, no eating, chips here, cookie there, subway here, going out with my co-workers... and when i was on a plan my co-worker would send a student to my room to ask me if i wanted something from subway. well i'd say yes, and guess who would end up going when i thought she was asking because she would go and get it.

i caught on to the cycle. she knew my weakness and that was scary for me. when she was on her plan she was dedicated. but you know what? this last convo with you all has made me realize even more how committed i must be. and as someone mentioned logging on and supporting each other is necessary.

especially when you have been in the trenches. i envision my life with out all the excess weight and stuggles of finding clothes to fit. excercising without getting so tired.

i commend those that reach back, offer support and maintain their weight after a loss. and those that lost and gained i commend for the tenacity of coming back and not giving up.

i think that's the key ! NEVER GIVE UP !

[j13]

being honest and open when I do make mistakes with my food so I'm not hiding it.

Val

I wonder if it would be better to think of these as choices, rather than mistakes? I know it is semantics. And I admire your determination and success. I think we need to change our mindset, the way we think about things. Sometimes we make a choice. Knowing it is not a great LC choice.
Just like everyone likes to call this a WOE instead of a diet. I think a big part of losing and maintaining is changing our thought process, which is more difficult for me than following any rules

In any case, you have done a great job with your weight control. Plus so many of your posts are very grounded and down to earth. thank you

Yes, you need to see your actions as decisions - choices that you've made as an autonomous, empowered person. As my title and favorite saying says, "Own Your Decisions." The AA quote (I believe; I'm not in the program) is something along the lines of "There are no victims, only volunteers." You are not powerless, and you make the decisions that affect your life. You are your life's pilot.

But you also need to own - and own up to - your mistakes. And that is what bad decisions are. Just because it was your decision doesn't mean that it was inherently good, that it wasn't a bad choice. And a bad decision is a mistake, and no amount of rationalization can change that.

-j.

[pennink]

This time I've enlisted some 'diet police' because I just don't trust myself.

I am facing a life/death situation, too, and still am painfully aware that I've gone up and down before. I was even going to keep my clothing because I don't trust myself, but I've decided not to keep them.

Sure, no matter how much my diet police nag me if I slip, they can't REALLY stop me as I'll sneak it. I wish to heck I hated food...

[diemde]

Some excellent posts here.

The reality is that only about 5% of us who post here routinely will probably make it to goal. The mental effort it takes is tremendous and is really one that we don't talk about much. It's the mental journal that will keep us going. If your head isn't in the game, you aren't going to win...period.

I was one of those that said never. I was a regular here, posting for just over 2 years every single day, multiple times per day and I fell off the wagon. It took me 18 months to get my head back in the game. As much as I "feel" like it won't happen again, I know there's a risk of it happening. I do everything I can to mitigate that risk.

I would estimate that I spend 2 to 3 hours per day, minimum, focusing on this journey. It's always there in the forefront of my thinking. That dedication is what it will take to get to goal and that dedication is not easy to sustain.

[kwikdriver]

I would estimate that I spend 2 to 3 hours per day, minimum, focusing on this journey. It's always there in the forefront of my thinking. That dedication is what it will take to get to goal and that dedication is not easy to sustain.


And now, for a slightly different perspective. I couldn't do this if it took "constant vigilance" or dedication -- I just don't have that kind of willpower. For me, it's a habit, the result of a shift in the way I looked at myself and the world, the food in it, and how it affected me. Now, this is just how I eat, not a big focus of my life. I don't eat carby foods the way, say, an observant Muslim or Jew doesn't eat pork, and I hope I think about it as rarely as I imagine they do.

My own experience with the loose skin issue was that it was bad at first, especially the "batwings." I'm down around 200 #s, and still carry another 100 or so extra, plus my arms used to be freakishly large from weightlifting, so I was expecting a lot of problems there, but now it looks like I'll avoid surgery for the batwings, although I suspect I'll need a body lift and tummy tuck when (and if) the whole thing is over. And who cares? It's better than lugging 500+#s around, and would be with or without surgery. Is being morbidly obese any more attractive than having some loose skin?

BTW, your health insurance might cough up some of the money if you've lost a lot of weight. Loose skin can create health problems of its own, so it's often in their long term interest to deal with it now, before it becomes some chronic issue that ends up costing them more money.

[lovemyvet]

Yup, it's the lower abs for me and I exercised all through my weight loss. I have no plans for surgery ~ it's not THAT bad.

Besides, my DH thinks I'm beautiful the way I am and I consider any sagging to be my badge of honor. It reminds me of what I've accomplished and how far I've come ~ battles that I've fought and won. :thup:

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a51/littletessa/7_5_1271.gif

[HappyHeart]

Winston Churchill's most famous speech was: "Never give up! Never give up! Never give up! Never give up!" and with that he sat down, his speech was ended.

[diemde]

And now, for a slightly different perspective. I couldn't do this if it took "constant vigilance" or dedication -- I just don't have that kind of willpower. For me, it's a habit, the result of a shift in the way I looked at myself and the world, the food in it, and how it affected me. Now, this is just how I eat, not a big focus of my life. I don't eat carby foods the way, say, an observant Muslim or Jew doesn't eat pork, and I hope I think about it as rarely as I imagine they do.

Oh, I just wanted to clarify. I do agree that the eating part doesn't take much time. It truly is a way of life, but even with each meal, I still think about it. Also any planning, cooking or grocery shopping, there's always a part of that effort that is spent focusing on lc. Also, the exercise, posting here, writing in our journals, reading other areas of the forum and just learning what is happening in the areas of research all take a lot of time. Not everyone needs to spend as much time as I do, but I feel like when I immerse myself in it, it reduces the risk of failure.

[Gee-Ma]

I have this turkey neck now and even though everyone says they don't notice.... I feel like when someone looks at me that's what they see, the loose skin under my chin. I could use a tummy tuck but it's really not that bad. Like Pennink said, the spanx help conceal :)

.

[LorileB]

I just had to email you look great! I do not know you but I am so proud of you. I tried to send a private email and it did not go through so please feel free to email me at bgtrophy~comcast.net. I just wish I could muster that some strength you have seemed to do!

I have about 40 pounds to lose and I got off the atkins here a month or so ago after losing 20 pounds. I am desperate and yet need to get motivated once again to just do it, I felt so much better on it that off. I struggle with depression related to my weight although I do not seem to struggle with it on a regular basis, Thank God!
I have 5 kids still at home and so with summer we got busy and I think I got lazy in regards to talking care of mself. Any words of encouragement, as your sucess has inspired me. Again Great Job, You look wonderful. I am a grandma too! I have 6 kids and 2 grandkids, what a joy they are!!!! :wave:

[ValerieL]

And a bad decision is a mistake, and no amount of rationalization can change that.

I concur. So, I stand by calling them mistakes. You learn from mistakes. If you don't call choices that turn out poorly mistakes, there is no reason to avoid those choices in the future.