Is it normal to feel "bleah" most of the time?

[Ayln]

I mean, even when not dieting and eating reasonably? It's been a very long time since I've felt really good and able to get things done quickly... though I've improved considerably since the last few years when I struggled with depression. I know people have their ups and downs (chronically perky people are scary...) but I'm just down most of the time. Surely this is not "normal"?

[cs_carver]

You know the answer. Could be in part that while you have gotten over the worst/ most disabling of your depressive symptoms, there are still others that are getting in your way. Not enough information in your post to even suggest what may be happening.

I certainly can identify with the feeling; it's a low-grade steady state for me but I can keep it at bay most of the time.

Good luck. Start with the medical professional you feel best about, and see where it leads. Or post more here and maybe people can give you suggestions for direction-of-adjustment.

[Ayln]

Thanks. Unfortunately, both of the doctors I've had in the past have been incompetent and uncaring; when I was going through my depressive phase in high school, with symptoms of hypothyroid and hormonal imbalance, I was merely told that it was normal for most high school girls to miss periods/feel cold/be depressed etc. The other doctor, a woman, refused to listen to my complaints and said that the best she would do for me is to prescribe me birth control to normalize my periods. I still don't have a stable primary care doctor.

I did think that I was hypo for a while back then, but I have since dropped a lot of the symptoms except for my bad PMS and mood swings, so I'm not sure what kind of doctor I should see or even if I "need" to see a doctor. All I know is that I don't often feel at my best and I'm not sure what would help with that.

[ReginaW]

I did think that I was hypo for a while back then, but I have since dropped a lot of the symptoms except for my bad PMS and mood swings, so I'm not sure what kind of doctor I should see or even if I "need" to see a doctor. All I know is that I don't often feel at my best and I'm not sure what would help with that.

Given your history, a good endocrinologist (or reproductive endo) since you definitely sound like you have "emotional" issues that may really be metabolic factors that remain unresolved (thyroid, possible PCO, insulin) - it isn't "normal" for a teen girl to miss periods past the first year of menstuation; nor is it normal to be cold intolerant or depressed just because you're a girl and in your teens. I'd suggest a doctor who knows the metabolic function and hormone system and have a work-up to rule out metabolic issues to see if it's really depression (low grade) or simply unresolved imbalances.

[cs_carver]

Another option would be to look around for an MD who has developed a practice in alternative medicine. You could try some of the alternative practitioners, too, but I prefer to have the MD degree behind a practice. YMMV.

Trouble is, you do have to do a lot of reading and self-education, because once you step off the beaten path, some of the treatments can get a bit iffy and you can run up the bills pretty fast. I have had to keep a tight rein on what proposed treatments I accept.

You can find these practitioners through word of mouth; also check the free newspapers that you'll find at health food stores and new age bookstores and such. The practitioners usually advertise in these papers, as well as any local "Women's Paper" you might have in your community (around here, it's a freebie called "Carolina Woman" but it could be different where you are).

Agreed, it could be that a good hormone work up will help. Could also be one of the more obscure (or not) food intolerances, or living near a major power line, or black mold, or some other pollutant in your environment, or ???

Good luck.

[Ayln]

Thanks to both of you for your suggestions. I wasn't sure if my symptoms justified getting medical help, but I guess feeling and being better is worth the risk of getting laughed at by one or two doctors. I'll start with some labwork as soon as I can. Other than hormones, should I get anything else? My current doctor, the male, would probably only do the most common tests i.e. blood panel, lipid panel.

[cs_carver]

I wasn't sure if my symptoms justified getting medical help, but I guess feeling and being better is worth the risk of getting laughed at by one or two doctors.

OK. Maybe it's all in your head... In that case, you can find a counselor and start paying $100 a week to talk about why it's so hard to enjoy life and feel good, and you can probably find lots of reasons, given that you have been depressed... I've spent $10K or $12K down that path, and it has helped, but only AFTER I got the medical stuff out of the way.

What I know today is that almost all of my major PSYCHOLOGICAL progress had at its root a PHYSIOLOGICAL change. I can, and have, talked all day about why I don't feel "right," and why I have erratic ups and downs... and then I discover low carbing, and my blood sugar stabilizes, and low and behold, so does my mood. Wow. There have been others--gluten is just one.

Most recently, I had a different form of energy-level trouble and blah feelings. Fortunately for the story, I am not in counseling at the moment, so I took my complaints to my family practice MD. I tested positive for Rocky Mountain Spotted fever, and doxycycline changed my life. My best friend heard my story and went to her doctor, and when he heard her symptoms, she went straight to the doxy skipping the blood test, and now she says her life is completely different. And this is a woman who's been to the Mayo Clinic.... Could be the tick disease came after the Mayo trip, though...

My point: Some doctors, esp. those in crowded practices where the biggest problems are Type II diabetes and high blood pressure and general sloppy living leading to bad health, may not take some of your problems as seriously as others. Also, some specialists (rheumatology comes to mind in my experience) are only concerned until they decide you DON'T have THEIR disease, and then you are of no interest.

The biggest medical mistake I've ever made was hearing a doctor say, "There's nothing we can do for that..." and interpreting it to mean, "There's nothing wrong with you." I suffered for several years onward until I accidentally stumbled into a different, younger, doctor, who said, "Oh, that needs to come out..." and I had the surgery I needed and life changed.

You sound youngish; maybe under 30? At my old age of 48, I really don't care too much if they laugh. There are plenty of doctors, and some of them can help.

It's also possible that whatever you have has a genetic element, and has been running in your family line for a long time, so you're a bit used to the model of people not feeling very good. I know that's partly true for some of my stuff. I happen to tell a life-story that says it's my job to handle those conditions differently; that while my ills MAY have a genetic basis, that doesn't doom me to the same miserable outcome. We know different things today than we did when Grandma was making health care decisions...

Good luck.

[Ayln]

I have been in counseling, and it didn't do me any good; in fact, I think my counselor may have done me worse than the doctors did! But that's a long story. Suffice it to say, I don't see her anymore and I've long since forgotten her "advice".

Actually, now that you mention your bout with spotted fever, I've had a similar experience with another condition before but it's been a long time since then. I don't think/know if I was actually properly treated for it, nor did I ever figure out what it was because I was in China at the time. There was a time when I thought it was Lyme's disease but many of the symptoms didn't fit. I don't suppose it has any importance now, though.

Surgery? Wow. I'm glad your doctor helped you with that and got you what you needed.

Yes, I am under 30. I've just had a lifetime (up to now) of doctors who either didn't care or didn't listen, so it's only a little natural for me to assume that most doctors would do the same. I know it's pessimistic to think that way, but after going to the doctors almost every week two years ago I've gotten sick of trying to deal with them. No pun intended. Besides, having doctors (and my counselor) telling me it's all in my head made me unsure of whether I actually am feeling as bad as I thought or if I'm just a hypochondriac.

I'll look into the genetics.

Thanks a lot for your help.

[deirdra]

I felt bleah for 35 years until I got all grains out of my diet (in addition to sugar, soy & most casein). I found chronically perky people scary too & figured they must be faking it!

Now I experience calm, happy, and even blissful moods & realize I must have been clinically depressed for years on high carbs. Even when I was thin I was always cranky & irritable, always seeing the glass half empty instead of half full.

[neverwhere]

I feel blah and anxious much of the time, though it has subsided with a change in diet, its still there.

My doc tries to be supportive and will always ask me to tell her what's going on, but I have a hard time talking about it. Sometimes during the really bad times i want to make an appointment, even if its just to get a low dose klonopin or something, but it is very hard for me to take that step.

It is hard for me to talk about feelings and problems face to face with someone. Even thinking about my anxiety (like typing it out right) now makes me feel nervous and ill. I will either get anxiety or get emotional, and I dont want to do either in front of my doc. Maybe it's stupid, but it's a hangup of mine.

You should seek to find a new doc though. No one should ever make you feel worse.

[Ayln]

deirdra: It's great that you found what's good for you :D

neverwhere: That's exactly what I'm going through! I have a hard time explaining my emotions to people. Then, I feel guilty for feeling the way I do because I can't justify it (it's not the end of the world, nobody died, you don't have cancer, etc). Or I'll feel embarrassed for going into hysterics in front of someone or online on IM. It's crazy how my emotions are so uncontrollable and unpredictable for me.

[Nancy LC]

Well, I don't have your problem but recently I went on a crying jag I couldn't stop. Just saying the word "cry" made me cry. It was incredibly annoying. Anyway, I started taking St. John's Wort and it stopped it cold.

You might try it if you're not taking any other antidepressants. Do be careful of going in the sun with SJW's though, it'll make your skin photosensitive.

[Ayln]

Thanks for the tip. I've been on a crying jag too, but I think that's probably linked to my period... Actually I just got my thyroid tested and the results are kind of strange. I'll post something up on the thyroid board and see what comes up.

[maryschild]

Part of the reason I have been going to the doc is to find some reason for my unremitting tiredness. Two doctors ago my doctor suggested it was "all in my head" aka "depression" . I *just* found out I am diabetic and probably have been having problems with my blood sugar the past few years. I am hoping that getting control of that helps. Don't let anyone tell you it's an *emo* problem until you have checked out every other possibility. Thank God I have been aggressive in seeking a reason for my own tiredness, because that's how I found out my blood glucose was high. Maybe this won't solve it, but I have a chance to take charge of a serious health problem before it results in even worse problems than tiredness.