Jokerjen
Wed, Sep-14-05, 10:23
Hi......
Well this week has been one of self realization....the first one being I had seen a picture that was taken of me last week and I could not get over how big I looked! Don't get me wrong, I "knew" I had been gaining weight but never thought I looked this big! I also decided to quit smoking 3 days ago...now I know most people gain weight when they quit so now is the time to change my way of life....
I was always a full bodied girl, at 17 I was a 38D with curves and a booty, weighing 140-145, any less than that and I looked sickly (I am 5'4) well, those curves got me into trouble!lol and I got pregnant with my 1st child when I was 17..I ballooned up to 205 lbs!!!!! I did manage to lose some of the weight over the years and was preganant again by the time I was 22.....The relationship I had with my childrens father was not a healthy one and I was always back and forth....we had a 2 yr seperation period and I lost almost all my weight! To make a long story short a failed realtionship led back to him and the weight gain...I said goodbye for good last September ...but the weight has stayed...I had lost some..but no where what I need to lose! I am now in a healthy relationship, but obviously my eating habits are not, I have gained probably almost 20 lbs in the 5 months I have been with him cuz he doesn't see me as fat, and I have enjoyed way too many Big macs with him and the kids....
I dream about before I had my children, I used to model..and long for the body I once had..I know it will never be the same....stretch marks and gravity have taken their toll, lets face it I'm 31 not 17......but it would be nice to get down to a healthy weight that I am comfortable with and be nice to wear nicer SMALLER clothes......
anyway this is my sad story..I am hoping that by joining this forum, it will give me some motivation... :help:
B.T.W....where is everyone getting this virtual model that I am seeing everywhere?
Jen
Well this week has been one of self realization....the first one being I had seen a picture that was taken of me last week and I could not get over how big I looked! Don't get me wrong, I "knew" I had been gaining weight but never thought I looked this big! I also decided to quit smoking 3 days ago...now I know most people gain weight when they quit so now is the time to change my way of life....
I was always a full bodied girl, at 17 I was a 38D with curves and a booty, weighing 140-145, any less than that and I looked sickly (I am 5'4) well, those curves got me into trouble!lol and I got pregnant with my 1st child when I was 17..I ballooned up to 205 lbs!!!!! I did manage to lose some of the weight over the years and was preganant again by the time I was 22.....The relationship I had with my childrens father was not a healthy one and I was always back and forth....we had a 2 yr seperation period and I lost almost all my weight! To make a long story short a failed realtionship led back to him and the weight gain...I said goodbye for good last September ...but the weight has stayed...I had lost some..but no where what I need to lose! I am now in a healthy relationship, but obviously my eating habits are not, I have gained probably almost 20 lbs in the 5 months I have been with him cuz he doesn't see me as fat, and I have enjoyed way too many Big macs with him and the kids....
I dream about before I had my children, I used to model..and long for the body I once had..I know it will never be the same....stretch marks and gravity have taken their toll, lets face it I'm 31 not 17......but it would be nice to get down to a healthy weight that I am comfortable with and be nice to wear nicer SMALLER clothes......
anyway this is my sad story..I am hoping that by joining this forum, it will give me some motivation... :help:
B.T.W....where is everyone getting this virtual model that I am seeing everywhere?
Jen