Wanting to have a baby...

[TN Jeni]

Hubby and I want to have children so that is what I keep in my mind while I try to lose weight. I know I'm quite a ways from where I need to be in order for us to try, but I was wondering....

What is the least heaviest one should be before they try? I've tried to research it everywhere... and it always just says "the lower the better" but I am just trying to get a rough estimate.

[ouzogirl]

At my heaviest my Dr. never told me not to have a baby. She did say that losing weight would help with conception.

Once I started losing weight, she asked me when DH and I would be TTC. When I told her that I wanted to lose some more weight she was supportive but told me that it wasn't necessary. I was 246 at my heaviest and 226 when she told me this last. She also told me that getting pregnant doesn't mean you can eat whatever you want. She told me that for my weight (right now) that I should gain 15 pounds max.

I would discuss this with your ob/gyn. Maybe he/she can give you a target weight that would be healthy to have a baby. I think this may have to do with actually carrying the baby to term and Gestational Diabetes risks. I know what you mean about the magic number though. It doesn't exist. Everything says lose weight or don't be overweight.

Good Luck with your quest! I can't wait to start my family either.

[TN Jeni]

The only thing that worries me is hurting the baby in some way. My mother's best friend was pregnant with her first the same time Mom was pregnant with me. Right before I was born, she gave birth and the baby was stillborn. They've always told me that the doctors determined the baby had been crushed because she had gained over 75 pounds. She gave everything she had to my mom - for me.

To be honest, it would just be the baby I'd be worried about. Of course, I guess I should be worrying about me too since I need to hang around and take care of it :)

[Colleenski]

what are your weight loss goals Jeni? for example, in one years time you plan to be ___?
How about two years time?
Can baby wait for two years? It will be worth it if you do. the best start for the both of you.

For me personally, my body suffered when I was around 200 lbs and trying to carry a baby through a very hot summer. I was always worried about complications and I was always tired. A baby is a wonderful goal to work towards. And that is what children do, they teach us so much about life and ourselves.

God Bless,

[liz175]

They've always told me that the doctors determined the baby had been crushed because she had gained over 75 pounds.

I am not a doctor, but I sincerely doubt that is why the baby died. I gained 85 pounds during my first pregnancy and no one suggested that it would kill the baby. That "baby" is now a healthy 19 year old who is half a foot taller than I am. I think I developed insulin resistance during that pregnancy and didn't know it and that's why I gained so much weight.

I weighed 250 when I got pregnant with my second child and it was a textbook perfect pregnancy. I had some nausea during the first four months (which I did for my other pregnancy as well), but I was healthy, my blood pressure stayed normal, and I swam laps until the week before I delivered. The entire labor was less than two hours from the first contraction to delivery, I had no medication or anesthesia, and I was on my feet taking care of my household the next day. I gained about 35 pounds with that pregnancy and weighed around 285 when I went into labor. The doctor never said a word about my weight during that pregnancy and treated it as a low risk, normal pregnancy, which it was.

I would think that the issue is how you feel. I wouldn't want to go into a pregnancy with enough weight that the weight was already affecting my mobility and stamina. At 250, that wasn't the case for me, but it would have definitely been the case at 350. I say get yourself as healthy as you can -- lose some weight, get some exercise, make sure your blood pressure is under control or normal, etc. -- and you'll know when you feel healthy enough to get pregnant. I don't think there is some magic number on the scale that will tell you that it is time to get pregnant. Good luck to you!

[aeburse4]

I don't think that the baby died because of the weight gain either. I gained at least 60 (I didn't look at the scale any more after that much gain!) with my daugter, and my Dr never said I would crush her. She was born a healthy little girl, and is healthy to this day.

I would say that you are right to want to loose a significant amount before you even start trying to conceive. I think one person mentioned 2 years time...I think that is a pretty good time frame for you to get your body to a place where you and the baby will be a lot more healthy!

Good Luck!

[fatnewmom]

Link:
http://clos.net/lib/08-pregnancy/pregnancy_comps.htm

Obesity can cause maternal & fetal complications. There is an increased risk of fetal death, macrosomia (large baby), intrauterine growth retardation (poor development of fetus), shoulder dystocia (permanent loss of arm to baby) and neural tube defects (take your folic acid now!). You're at risk for pregnancy-induced hypertension, eclampsia, and gestational diabetes, all of which can profoundly affect the fetus & your own health. There is also an increased risk of miscarriage, C-section (& corresponding increased risk of bleeding & post-op infections), permanent diabetes, life-long hypertension, post-partum infections and endometriosis. Also, if your infant is born pre-term, it is 4 times more likely to die than if you lose weight.

One study discussed gestational weight change, where there are negative consequences if you gain too little or too much during pregnancy. This is what I gather after reading all the studies: you will want to be in a weight range where you can gain 15-25 pounds & still not be over 250 pounds; therefore, you should get down to AT MOST 195. An alternate approach would be to calculate your BMI using this link:

http://medcalc3000.com/BodyMassIndex.htm

Obviously "obese" (BMI >30) places you at risk for all of the above. Therefore, you would want to strive for a BMI of <30. 195 pounds at your current height (I saw 5'8" on your profile), would place you right below 30, in the "overweight" category rather than "obese". This is probably what your doctor is looking at.

To be balanced, "at risk" doesn't mean that something will happen -- it just means that there is an increased chance of a negative outcome. However, even if you don't make it to your goal weight, your pregnancy will be closely monitored due to your weight.

An aside: I had gestational diabetes during my pregnancy. It will not cause a problem to the fetus at all as long as blood sugar is well controlled. There are a whole gamut of problems to the fetus (including death) if blood sugar is not controlled. However, the LC diet would keep it within good range. I had to avoid all sugar & most carbohydrates while pregnant.

Another aside: I am NOT suggesting bariatric surgery by including the above link. It's a good link b/c it references reputable studies, from which you can gather valuable information.

Good luck to you with weight loss & your eventual pregnancy. As the mom of a new baby, I have to say IT IS WORTH IT!

[VictoriaT]

HI
Im not saying its great to be obese (like me) and pregnant.

But..I was on birth control pills for 13 years. I was 299 lbs and 35 years old when we decided HEY lets try for a baby. Everyone kept telling me Im too old and too fat.

Got off pills in Sept 2003, got pregnant Oct 2003 and had a VERY VERY easy pregnancy. No morning sickness, no stretch marks (too funny huh), no tired, no food aversions, etc. I gained 52 lbs, but I lost 35 the first day after I had him...water weight from it being 103 in July! Everyone was jealous b/c I was 8 days overdue and still working and bee bopping around my job. I felt like a million bucks with my fat ass LOL

I found a doctor who NEVER was negative to me about my weight. He did tell me that It would be easier for me to lose some weight before we try again next time (and Im trying! Got back donw to 299 and below..)

Anyway, I have a happy, healthy, 7.5 month old crawling around everywhere! Dont let anyone tell you you cant do it.

Good luck
Vicki

[fatnewmom]

HI
Im not saying its great to be obese (like me) and pregnant.

But..I was on birth control pills for 13 years. I was 299 lbs and 35 years old when we decided HEY lets try for a baby. Everyone kept telling me Im too old and too fat.

Got off pills in Sept 2003, got pregnant Oct 2003 and had a VERY VERY easy pregnancy. No morning sickness, no stretch marks (too funny huh), no tired, no food aversions, etc. I gained 52 lbs, but I lost 35 the first day after I had him...water weight from it being 103 in July! Everyone was jealous b/c I was 8 days overdue and still working and bee bopping around my job. I felt like a million bucks with my fat ass LOL

I found a doctor who NEVER was negative to me about my weight. He did tell me that It would be easier for me to lose some weight before we try again next time (and Im trying! Got back donw to 299 and below..)

Anyway, I have a happy, healthy, 7.5 month old crawling around everywhere! Dont let anyone tell you you cant do it.

Good luck
Vicki

I have to agree whole-heartedly. Find a doctor who supports you in every way. You will be paying for her/his services, and trusting the life of your precious baby in her/his hands, so make sure your concerns are heard & you are treated with respect. You deserve support in any decision you make. Even if you decide to conceive at a larger weight after looking at the pros/cons, your pregnancy will be closely monitored for potential complications. Find a doc you can trust.
:)

[jarcat]

Hi Jeni,

I know exactly how you feel. My hubby and I want to start trying for a baby this year. We both went to our family doctor to discuss what we should do to prepare and mainly about what my weight I should be at. He told me that my weight wasn't a huge issue but it would be best to try and loose some, he didn't state how much. So my goal is to try and get under 200 at least before we start trying. I've decided to come off the pill now so that my hormones can adjust and possibly drop a little more weight because I've heard they can cause weight gain. I've also been taking folic acid once a day to prepare, as per docs advice.

I would not suggest reading anything quoted on the Internet. There is so much false garbage out there it scares ya to death. Your best bet would be to do what I did and make an appointment for you and your hubby to see your doctor. Then you'll at least have some idea on what to strive for.

Good luck :)

Jarcat

[JennyU1976]

Hi Jeni - My husband and I are also trying to have a baby, but I am trying to loose weight before we get pregnant...and having a baby is my inspiration as well to keep with it. What could be a better goal then that?

Since I have never had a baby, I can't help with specifics. But I know with me, my hormones are very sensitive and weight REALLY seems to affect my periods, ovulation etc. Pregnancy can seem so complicated on one end, and such a simple miracle on the other end. Keep up the good work!

Jenny

[twinmomma]

I just wanted to wish you good luck----hope all works out for you....

[Meg_S]

Best of luck in achieving your goals!!
Just one other thing to think about - and you're not AT ALL wrong in thinking mainly about the baby's health.. but also think about your own. When you're pregnant there is a tremendous strain on your body (Obviously), not only does this new life have to grow from your body, there are an abundance of hormonal changes and discomforts, sometimes severe, that you go through and being overweight can only exacerbate it. For example, the hormone relaxin softens and relaxes ALL of your ligaments, as well as your smooth muscle - meaning every joint in your body is at higher risk already to be injured and your own weight contributes to that, heart burn - your esophageal sphincter is not quite as effective and the baby as well as weight pushes stomach acid back up, your feet (no one thinks about how many joints are in the feet) - I'm 170 right now and just under 4 mos preg- I force myself to go for walks but they hurt so bad that sometiems I don't even walk across the appartment for a drink because I don't want to stand on them.
Of course, with exercise even overweight people can have a stong body which is in good condition! That will make everything easier :)
Best of luck, you're on the right track
Meg

[Jade74]

Hi Jeni,

My heart goes out to you, when we decided to start a family it would've killed me if someone suggested we wait two years. In fact, I skipped out on my flu shot this year, because the doctor told me if I got it I should stop trying to get pregnant for three months!

I do think that you should take the information you get online with a grain of salt, but telling you to dismiss it completely seems like a bad idea to me. You need to take charge of your own health and arm yourself with medical knowledge (which it seems like you're trying to do). Having said that, you should definitely see an OB/GYN and discuss all of this with the doctor, because there's no substitute for a professional opinion. I also don't think it's at all possible to crush a baby with pregnancy weight gain, and that would be an excellent fear to discuss with the doctor. Believe me, once you're pregnant and the hormones are racing, you'll be dealing with so many fears that you should get as many as you can out of the way NOW!

I wish you all the best!

Jenn