Bworms1980
Tue, May-04-04, 09:04
Hello my name is Marsha and I've always been overweight. When i was a child i got clothes from the teen section. When I was a teen I got clothes from the adult section and now that i'm a 24 yo adult, I can't even shop at the mall. I'm 5',5" tall and used to weigh 280 for a long while. in the past few years I now weigh 225 which is still too much for my small frame. I've cried and wondered why I can't have a healthy body since I was small, because I've never known what its like not to be extremely overweight. I've never been able to wear a two piece bathing suit. I've never known what it's like to walk outside and not cringe when people stare at me.
I started the atkins diet 3 days ago, May 1, 2004. I've been very good. And haven't had any cravings. My only problem is I don't have the book. I live with my mom and we just moved into a house and money is tight. I'm so overweight that I've been in and out of wheelchairs and it's so hard to move that I can't work. I have absolutely no money and its really hard to try and get the book never mind the food to eat.
Eating is a hard thing for me, not the eating part but food in general, I could remember being little and would eat snacks for breakfast lunch and dinner. I didnt have a concerned mother who took care of us. But she's changed now. However that started my awful eating habits. Even now on the atkins I realize I have problems because I can't not being doing something when I eat. Such as I have to be watching something on the pc or tv or I can't eat. I used to not eat for hours even when hungry so I could wait for 1 of my shows to come on, on tv. So I don't realize when I'm full and end up over eating cause i'm not paying attention. And drinking is just as bad. Soda was my choice of poison. I could and would literally go months without drinking water. I loved soda and would drink that all day for long periods of time. I couldn't seem to eat and drink water, I hated it. Also my bathroom scale is a problem I just am never sure if it's right. when I started it said 225, the next day 223, the day after 216 and now today 219. Those old ones you have to adjust yourself first is too hard, i'm never sure if it's adjusted right. When I step on it would say 215 and i so much as breathe and it says 225. I would love to get 1 of those digital ones, but like the book I just can't afford it. I don't know if i'll be able to stay on the atkins because of money situation.
(The last bit of money I had from my savings after having to leave my job, my sister talked me into lending her. She took that 2,000 dollars and decided to lease a used Lexus. Were not rich by any means. But she's always wanted what she can't afford, and now i'm suffering for it. Cause she doesn't seem like she'll pay me back anytime soon. She's not a very nice person 95% of the time.)
But those old scales you have to adjust yourself first is too hard, i'm never sure if it's adjusted right. But these things i'm getting past in only my first few days. I love this diet because I'm sticking with it and when i see a food i'm not allowed, only for a second i look at it and think why am i doing this. I want to eat that chocolate i should just eat it. But then the moment passes and i'm ok again. But thats been a problem for me. Knowing the food is there is what hurts me. Cause i'm not hungry but i know it tastes good, so I eat anyway. I don't have an option to throw out everything not allowed on the atkins cause i live with my mom, stepdad and younger sister (19yo). She's also a problem. When she heard I was on the atkins she said
"good i'm buying food so i can eat in your face. Grab a snicker, why wait."
That really upset me, but I guess I should be used to getting no support in the things I go after. She doesn't know what it's like to be overweight. She's 5'7" and 130 lbs. But she's always been jealous of my breast cause shes a little flat chested and i'm now up to 44D. But she refuses to realize my chest keeps growing because my weight keeps going up. She's always been in the in crowd and doesn't know what it's like to be treated like dirt since she was a child. I do. I am not that active because I have a problem with going outside. I can be in my house for months at a time, because I don't like to be around people. I feel like everyone is staring at me. And when I do go out, its in a car or a taxi so I hardly walk places. Right now I've been exercising a bit, but the shows on tv, even the beginners, move so fast and its hard to keep up. So i get maybe 5 minutes or so of exercise. Only to have my sister tell me how fat and lazy I am. I hope to get the atkins book soon. But with no money it might be a while. I've been doing it by going to the atkins website, but i know i'm missing out on so much.
I'm here to be around other low carbers and maybe get a littl support if it's not a bother.
Sorry if this is too long. Just had to get some stuff off my chest.
Ps. The new house I moved into has a gigantic yard. anyone have any tips on exercising in it. Such as walking around and for how long?
I started the atkins diet 3 days ago, May 1, 2004. I've been very good. And haven't had any cravings. My only problem is I don't have the book. I live with my mom and we just moved into a house and money is tight. I'm so overweight that I've been in and out of wheelchairs and it's so hard to move that I can't work. I have absolutely no money and its really hard to try and get the book never mind the food to eat.
Eating is a hard thing for me, not the eating part but food in general, I could remember being little and would eat snacks for breakfast lunch and dinner. I didnt have a concerned mother who took care of us. But she's changed now. However that started my awful eating habits. Even now on the atkins I realize I have problems because I can't not being doing something when I eat. Such as I have to be watching something on the pc or tv or I can't eat. I used to not eat for hours even when hungry so I could wait for 1 of my shows to come on, on tv. So I don't realize when I'm full and end up over eating cause i'm not paying attention. And drinking is just as bad. Soda was my choice of poison. I could and would literally go months without drinking water. I loved soda and would drink that all day for long periods of time. I couldn't seem to eat and drink water, I hated it. Also my bathroom scale is a problem I just am never sure if it's right. when I started it said 225, the next day 223, the day after 216 and now today 219. Those old ones you have to adjust yourself first is too hard, i'm never sure if it's adjusted right. When I step on it would say 215 and i so much as breathe and it says 225. I would love to get 1 of those digital ones, but like the book I just can't afford it. I don't know if i'll be able to stay on the atkins because of money situation.
(The last bit of money I had from my savings after having to leave my job, my sister talked me into lending her. She took that 2,000 dollars and decided to lease a used Lexus. Were not rich by any means. But she's always wanted what she can't afford, and now i'm suffering for it. Cause she doesn't seem like she'll pay me back anytime soon. She's not a very nice person 95% of the time.)
But those old scales you have to adjust yourself first is too hard, i'm never sure if it's adjusted right. But these things i'm getting past in only my first few days. I love this diet because I'm sticking with it and when i see a food i'm not allowed, only for a second i look at it and think why am i doing this. I want to eat that chocolate i should just eat it. But then the moment passes and i'm ok again. But thats been a problem for me. Knowing the food is there is what hurts me. Cause i'm not hungry but i know it tastes good, so I eat anyway. I don't have an option to throw out everything not allowed on the atkins cause i live with my mom, stepdad and younger sister (19yo). She's also a problem. When she heard I was on the atkins she said
"good i'm buying food so i can eat in your face. Grab a snicker, why wait."
That really upset me, but I guess I should be used to getting no support in the things I go after. She doesn't know what it's like to be overweight. She's 5'7" and 130 lbs. But she's always been jealous of my breast cause shes a little flat chested and i'm now up to 44D. But she refuses to realize my chest keeps growing because my weight keeps going up. She's always been in the in crowd and doesn't know what it's like to be treated like dirt since she was a child. I do. I am not that active because I have a problem with going outside. I can be in my house for months at a time, because I don't like to be around people. I feel like everyone is staring at me. And when I do go out, its in a car or a taxi so I hardly walk places. Right now I've been exercising a bit, but the shows on tv, even the beginners, move so fast and its hard to keep up. So i get maybe 5 minutes or so of exercise. Only to have my sister tell me how fat and lazy I am. I hope to get the atkins book soon. But with no money it might be a while. I've been doing it by going to the atkins website, but i know i'm missing out on so much.
I'm here to be around other low carbers and maybe get a littl support if it's not a bother.
Sorry if this is too long. Just had to get some stuff off my chest.
Ps. The new house I moved into has a gigantic yard. anyone have any tips on exercising in it. Such as walking around and for how long?