Journal Etiquette

[orchidday]

I made friends with a woman who was a member of the forum for quite awhile but then dropped out of the forum but not low-carbing. We have had lunch a few times and enjoy visiting and comparing low-carb notes. We had lunch a couple of weeks ago and she expressed that she had dropped out of the forum because she was unable to make more friends and didn't feel a part of things. We discussed some thoughts and I hope she will come back!

1-When you see an interesting post or someone you have something in common with go ahead and drop into their journal to say hello! Some journals are very private but a vast majority of forum members appreciate visitors and support.

2-When you are busy sometimes you can only reply back to a visitor in your own journal. But remember, that person might not see the post you left for them in your own journal or read the comment you left for them.

3- Think of your journal as your online "home" and remember that friendship is mutual.....if you do not visit other people's journals but only "receive" guests they will quit coming over! Friendship needs to be a 50/50 proposition.

4- Be patient. People's lives can be hectic and we can't know for sure why someone hasn't posted in awhile or dropped by to say hello. Even good friends occassionally get out of touch. Drop in and say hello when someone is missing but don't take it personally - life goes on with or without the forum.

5- Avoid arguments and hostility when visiting a journal. It should generally be avoided anyplace on the forum but doing it in a journal is just not good.

6- It is generally not a good idea to respond to other people within someone's journal. Go to that person's journal for the response and let the journal remain that persons.

7- Remember that this is a very different communication method compared to speaking in real time. Don't be too quick to judge comments as you cannot hear the inflection, or at times, fully understand the meaning of a statement. People have different writing styles and it can take awhile to get the hang of someone else's style.

8- If you don't like what is in someone's journal - don't read it! Each of us has a different personality and sometimes we just don't "click". That is okay! No reason to comment upon it.

9- This is such a fabulous way to get to know people that we would never meet in real time. We represent every race, age, geographic location, religion, political view, sexual orientation, socio economic class, etc. etc. etc. We really can learn from broadening our horizons and welcoming this wonderful diversity into our lives. We may not always understand others or agree with them about things but you can be sure that there is something we can learn from each person!

10- Some people are just shy or do not like to communicate in writing very much. They are just as valued on this forum as those of us who are more outgoing and like to write. Everyone has something valuable to add!

I hope that our discussion helped my friend and that she will decide to come back! I am sure others on the forum have ideas as well!

Orchid

[diemde]

Great post Orchid!

I've often wondered how to explain to the newer folks how journaling works here. It is so different that what I thought a journal was! When I first started, I just used my journal to record my notes to myself. It took a couple of months for me to understand that you really do make friends here by popping in to other peoples journals, introducing yourself and offering them encouragement! Then they come and post in your journal and pretty soon you are communicationg back and forth via the journals. It was a real eye opener when it started happening for me. And it's really very motivational.

Thanks for sharing your tips! :wiggle:

[Zymi]

Thanks for the information Orchid and Diemde :) I wasn't quite understanding the significance of the journal until now. I was thinking it's just a recording of what you ate and how your day was...I do that in a paper journal, so I didn't bother with it online. Now I know! hehehe

[Keisha]

I agree 110 % with Orchidday's comments, and as a newby I am quite thrilled when anyone responds to me or writes in my journal...it's like getting a nice card through the mail ! Perhaps we should all make an effort to respond to at least 1 or 2 people each time we come on to the forum !! This is a really great way to communicate. :agree:

[hummelda]

Great post, Orchid!! You hit the nail right on the head. There is so much more that goes on in journals than is apparent through the posts on this part of the forum.

[newme2b]

Thanks for the heads up on the journals. I had thought these were private sort of journals and so hadn't gotten around to making one. Will have to spend some time poking around in that area.

[Bjuba]

This thread should be a 'sticky' and remain on top of the board. Great post, Orchid!! It took me a long time to realize that when I post a reply in my journal the person I am replying too does not get a post notification!

[Saweetie]

Each time I have fallen off the wagon it usually has corelated with not logging on this site and not posting in my journal. This time around I have activly been posting in some others and have been finding posts in mine. It is really nice to know people are really rooting for you...and your rooting for them!

Great Post and I hope your friend comes back too!! I've felt the same way as her. Especially when you drop into some of the Long-time members journals and see all the posts from various people. You can kinda feel left ouT!

Thanks OrchidDay

[Charran]

Great post Orchid! I hope everyone reads it! It sure gives alot to think about! I know I really appreciate it when someone comes around ...even if its just to say a quick hi! It really lets you know that people are out there rooting for you and thinking about you!

[ValerieL]

Excellent post!

Like others have said, I didn't know how the journals worked when I got here, it's only been in the past couple of weeks that I began to understand. You've done a great service to newbies by letting them know right away how to get more involved by using the journals.

I agree that this should be a sticky (or added into the how to make a journal sticky) so that people know.

Thanks,
Valerie

[tulips]

Great point orchidday!!!! No one should feel left out...

[lollaleelo]

Somewhat o/t, but I love your screen name, Orchidday. Is there a story about how you chose it?

[orchidday]

Thanks so much Lolla! I live in Central Florida and my hobby is raising orchids on my screened porch. I have a chair out there where I like to sit and contemplate life. The day I signed up for the forum I couldn't think of anything real creative and I remembered sitting out there that morning admiring the flowers. That is how my name was born!

Welcome to the forum Llola and congrats on your terrific loss thus far!

Orchid

[Paris]

I third making this a sticky - truly a wonderful post!

One of the reasons I chose this site to post on and make my "home" is because of the journals. It's a great way to express oneself and make new friends. :)

[AntiM]

Thanks for starting this thread, Orchid.

90% of my time is spent in the journals of friends I've made here. Sometimes I don't even have time to check out what's going on in the TDC - case in point, I'm only seeing this thread for the first time! :)

A few times I've had people post that they hope they're not offending me by dropping by my journal. What? Of course not!! However, It sure makes me wonder if I've offended others ... :( I sure hope not.

I've been here a year and have come to the point where there are literally too many people I want to talk with. I see fascinating posts all the time - but if I started corresponding with everyone, and at the rate I type, I'm going to need to hire a transcriptionist! :lol:

At one time, I almost quit the forum. For different reasons than your friend, Orchid, but I also felt like I didn't fit. I can't tell you all how glad I am that I stayed!

Just like LC in general, I found I had to stick with the forum long enough to form a good relationship.

[liz175]

Great post Orchid!

I'd add one more thing. Whenever I know I am going to be gone for a while, or too busy to post, I usually make a note of it in my journal so that my online friends don't worry about me. I really appreciate it when other people do that as well. I worry about the people on the forum just like I worry about my friends in "real life" if I don't know why they have suddenly disappeared!

One thing that Orchid said is really important -- if you reply to someone in your own journal, they often don't see it. Going back to that person's journal to reply is a better way to start a dialogue.

[doreen T]

hi everybody,

I've noted the suggestions to Sticky this thread. However, I think the discussion is so terrific, I'd really like to move it over to the General LC board so all members can benefit.

Whaddya say??? :D


Doreen

(p.s. - we'll leave a redirect link here in TDC so folks can find it if it's moved, and your subscription links will work just fine too ;))

[Rocky_Cdn]

Sounds great, Doreen.

Orchid, thanks so much for taking the time to do this. I was also confused about what the journals where for and whether they where valuable (and they sure are).

[orchidday]

That works Doreen! I wasn't sure where to put it exactly and since the TDC is kind of "home" for me I put it here.

I hope we can keep working to help newbies find their niche here! The forum is one of the most valuable tools I have in my weight loss effort.

Orchid

[Kristine]

Nice etiquette guidelines. :thup:

I'd add this, also: remember that your journal is part of the greater *public* forum, so be cautious of what you reveal about yourself. It's never truly private.

I think I would add, too, that you don't HAVE to treat your journal as your social center. I don't use mine for that, unless people happen to drop by. You can use it whatever way you'd like. :thup:

[flynnlee]

i agree as well!!

i love the journaling program offered on this board!! i have made several new friends, as i am on the computer all the time due to schoolwork, and tho you can't see them in real life, they are still people and they do care! it's so nice to be able to give and recieve support. the journal has helped me through many difficult spots in my life!! i hope everyone decides to start one -- they are so worth it and they really enhance the low carb lifestyle!!

[TarHeel]

Great thread, Orchid! I remember when I first joined, and very timidly posted in a journal of someone who lived near me....asking about a store she had mentioned. Thought I was intruding on something private. I'm so glad she was a welcoming and open person.

I'd never been on any other forum before, so didn't understand what this one was all about. It can be overwhelming.....I try to get back to everyone who posts a message in my journal, but sometimes that takes a lot of time. Even if I miss someone, I appreciate each and every message.

I'm a "written communicator"...Not everyone is. And I agree that once in a while, albeit rarely, there is someone here that I simply feel I have nothing in common with, and with whom I don't wish to start up a correspondence. Somehow it all comes out in the wash.

I tend to become a bit turned off by those who use a smilie for every third word in each post. They're very cute, but don't add much "meat" in my opinion. Could be an age difference. I'm much more interested in what someone is thinking than in their smilie repertoire.

I wonder how often your friend posted to other members' journals. You are right about the element of reciprocation.....it doesn't need to be every day, or every week, but an occasional nod back makes all the difference.


Thanks for bringing this subject up,

Kay

[marankath]

Thankyou Orchid, this has helped me understand the whole journal thing and not fear offending anyone or doing anything inappropriate. You make me want to start one. Thanks again!

[Lessara]

Orchid, the suggestions you listed are invaluable! I had to learn many of them the hard way. I used to be a whinner about no one visiting my journal. I used to feel so alone but it was a counsilor who told me that if you feel isolated and uncared for, you need to go help as many of your friends as you can. Expect none in return and you will feel better. Its so true. :)

[Rosie Real]

This is such a great post! I've met some truly special people in just the short time I've been here. I look forward to hearing from them in my journal, and I answer every person who takes the time to read about my boring life and comment and encourage me.

I hope your friend comes back and jumps back into posting. :)

[ytsett]

I'm new to this forum. I registered several weeks ago, but haven't had the nerve to write. I've been reading alot of posts and I was tring to make head from tales on how this thing works. You guys gave great tips!
Big Thanks

[rosey1]

This is such a great thread. I wonder if the newbies can find it here?

[musicwoman]

I 'm with Rosey1 - I think the newbeis would really benefit from this sticky and maybe it should be repeated in the Journal/Bootcamp board AND the Newbies Questions. Just a thought! I only figured it out for myself a couple of days ago. I'm sorry I've been missing out all this time!

[Rachelle]

This board and my journal have kept me on track and have brought so many great people into my life. I agree with all those points and think that this thread was an excellent idea!

I'm one of those people that just drops in on journal all around the place.. if you note from my Post count.. i like to talk alot :lol:

[Elizabeth-]

Orchid,
I have been posting Reply's to other Journals not know how the journals worked so i hope i was doing ok-i like visiting with others that have the same problem i deal with everyday, i am in constant worry of my health problem an it is what i eat-everything i put in my month i feel like it is wrong -my blood pressure is high because of what i eat -i am diabetic because of what i eat -i am fat because of what i eat and i don't get enough exercise.Elizabeth-

[Moogie1019]

Thanks for the Great advice, Orchidday! :daizy: I'm new to the forum and I too thought the journals were private. It's nice to know that it's okay to write, & folks will respond :)

[ginyer]

I almost gave up on the forum just because it seemed so huge and difficult to get in and get to know people....that is the farthest thing from the truth. It is just a matter of knowing how to go about it. What helped was joining a challenge and getting familiar with a few posters....then like some other, I didn't realize that I should resond to posts in my journal in their journal....now that I get the give and take, I have so enjoyed this board and don't know how I would have done this "PLAN" without it. It has been a wonderful motivation...if anything I worry that I post too often and bother people. All of the suggestions were right on. Thanks Again.
Anita

[carol slc]

I have enjoyed reading all the other responses to your journal. I'am also new at this. I have not made a journal yet but will try to start one now and will try and respond to at least one each time I go on line. thanks carol slc.

[Exception]

Aha... I think after scanning through all those enthusiastic responses I've got the gist of what this 'Journal' thing is all about! Now I've just got to find where mine is so I can set it up....!

[KoKo]

Hi Exception

and WELCOME. To start your own journal Click Here (http://forum.lowcarber.org/forumdisplay.php?f=36) and then click on start a new thread and give that thread the name you want your journal to have. After that you will see a link to your journal at the bottom of your posts.

[TyroneBill]

Thanks for this thread. I'm new and have been thinking about starting a journal, but didn't really know how to conduct myself or what to expect. Now I know I'll be journaling soon. I am going to read somes journal entries to see how others set their journals up. I hope I'll be getting lots of visitors in my home(journal) here at LowCarber.

[TilaBC]

Is there a way to delete your original journal and start new ? I have sent massages to the forum owner via the contact page but I never got a response. I want to start a new journal and erase my old one.
Thanks !

[klc145]

I am not sure of your question exactly but you might try asking it in the "Comments Box and Technical Questions" area. The mods are quick to answer there!

Hope that helps! :)

[doreen T]

Is there a way to delete your original journal and start new ? I have sent massages to the forum owner via the contact page but I never got a response. I want to start a new journal and erase my old one.
Thanks !
hi there,

The policy is .. one journal per member. We encourage folks to keep their journals, even if they switch plans or have other life circumstances. (p.s. - congrats on your expected baby :baby: :cool: ). It can be helpful to go back and review past experiences .. Plus, deleting your journal also deletes the wonderful support posts from your buddies.

Unless there's a dire personal reason that you *must* have your journal deleted, it's better to keep the one you've got.


Doreen

[faydunaway]

What a great post. Very informative. Thanks so much for your kind guidance and keep up the good support and your good personal results.

I for one really appreciate this site and the people who visit my new journal.

I think the first weeks of return to LC is not easy, shoot the first months aren't easy. I wish I'd known about this site years before because I might have stayed true with the support of others in the same situation.

Thanks again.

[~Bri~]

I'm so glad I found this group! Thanks for sharing this. I was wondering how to feel a part of such a huge group of folks, now I know. I'm looking forward to my LC experience this time around!!

[sandy.ch]

Thanks so much for your post :-) I've been trying to start my own journal, but not computer-literate, I think I will manage now, thanks again. Greetings from Switzerland

[bero48]

Is this Thread still being used and if so could someone explain how it works. I see where people respond but not the questions. Maybe I am just not getting this. I am total new to this site.

Tks Doris :wave:

[lo_kate]

As a newbie I am trying to read through all the stickies to learn how to navigate and this is Very Helpful! Thank you.