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  #76   ^
Old Wed, Mar-05-03, 16:17
adnil53's Avatar
adnil53 adnil53 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 3,177
 
Plan: THM
Stats: 230/176/130 Female 5' 3"
BF:
Progress: 54%
Location: Northern California
Default

Thanks Pokey!
Quote:
Originally posted by Ruralgurl
I think subconsciously the fat is one big protective layer and YES when the layers start to thin I feel very vulnerable.
I think that is one of my problems, I like small paces also for the same reason, I feel protected there... like arms around me and I think the fat makes me feel that way too, no one can get in. So even though I don't feel good about myself being fat, I subconsciously want to stay in that safe spot. So I start to loss and BAMB I want to EAT... strange but true... LOL. The one thing about The Zone is no matter if I go off I can come right back on, but then again I have only been doing The Zone for a couple of months so time will tell how it goes. So far I am losing despite my forays into forbidden foods... hummm, not so I am losing, but nothing is forbidden... anyway, I am looking at success this time and believe I will have it!
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  #77   ^
Old Thu, Mar-06-03, 05:06
SummerYet's Avatar
SummerYet SummerYet is offline
Reinventing Myself
Posts: 11,768
 
Plan: Doctor's Plan
Stats: */*/* Female 5 ft 3 in
BF:
Progress: 77%
Location: Scotch Plains, NJ
Default

I have to say I am with adnil on this one. I am not trying to minimize your success Pokey, but I see myself when I read your post after 2 months...I was still strict and enthusiastic and everything else...now after 8 months things change. For me it was hitting a certain weight, for others it is seeing a new image in the mirror, some it is when they start getting compliments or attention from the opposite sex.

I guess what I am trying to say is that self sabatoge is a lot more complicated than finding a WOL that you are comfortable with...because I will always be doing this, I like it and it works. But there are emotional issues that SOME people have to work out along the way...

Just MHO...

~Michelle
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  #78   ^
Old Thu, Mar-06-03, 07:57
Pokey's Avatar
Pokey Pokey is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 342
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 299/288/197
BF:
Progress: 11%
Location: Colorado
Default hmmm

Quote:
I was still strict and enthusiastic and everything else

I think you are getting me all wrong. This has not been easy for me. This is actually my 2nd time around for doing this WOE. I am terrified to death of being thin, but at the same time I want it soooo bad. I hate getting looks from guys being fat. So it will horrify me when it happens when i am thin. I am scared my skin will sag and I will be nothing but a ball of droopy flesh. (gross). But with all that said I am ready to do it droopy skin and all. LOL
I did not mean to discount anyones efforts here and say anything to put anyone down. I was simply stating how it is for me, and a few others I have chatted with.
Toodles,
Good luck to all of you!
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  #79   ^
Old Thu, Mar-06-03, 14:36
toofatyet toofatyet is offline
New Member
Posts: 11
 
Plan: CKD
Stats: 240/225/200
BF:25%/25%/10%
Progress: 38%
Location: Texas
Default

I know that for me the key is finding a reason that is soley for myself. Every time my motivation has been external, I've failed.

This time, it's all between me and God. He and I are all I need on this and nobody else's opinion matters.

The thing that really kind of panicked me the other day was my wife complimenting me on the way I'm starting to look (she always has, but it's better when it's the eyes and not the heart talking). She commented on how she's always like compact, wiry men. Not that this was something I didn't know, but the thing that hit me was that, as a man, I did not want to be "small." I don't know if it is the perception that small does not equal strong or what. I've got some more soul-searching to do on this one.

I guess that's bigorexia (sp?) or some other body image issue and I'm not quite sure how to deal with that one. I know intellectually that I have to lose the fat first and that it will take quite some time before I can gain muscle that is as large as the layers of fat. That doesn't mean that I have accepted/dealt with it on an emotional level.

Does anybody have a clue on this one? I pray and tell myself that it doesn't matter if someone else thinks I'm small, but I'm not ready to accept myself thinking I'm small.
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  #80   ^
Old Thu, Mar-06-03, 15:27
adnil53's Avatar
adnil53 adnil53 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 3,177
 
Plan: THM
Stats: 230/176/130 Female 5' 3"
BF:
Progress: 54%
Location: Northern California
Default

Pokey, Please don't worry about it... you're fine... keep doing great!
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  #81   ^
Old Sat, Mar-08-03, 05:49
SummerYet's Avatar
SummerYet SummerYet is offline
Reinventing Myself
Posts: 11,768
 
Plan: Doctor's Plan
Stats: */*/* Female 5 ft 3 in
BF:
Progress: 77%
Location: Scotch Plains, NJ
Default

Oh Boy...

I saw a new numbe...hit 41 # and I think I am doing it again time to get really strict. Shake things up...not sure how yet. Thinking 1 HC day then strict induction (never did Atkins) WHat does anyone think?

~Michelle
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  #82   ^
Old Sat, Mar-08-03, 16:53
Ellipsis's Avatar
Ellipsis Ellipsis is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 199
 
Plan: LCHF
Stats: 292/249/150 Female 5'4"
BF:
Progress: 30%
Location: Inland Empire, CA
Default Re: Self-sabotage: Why? How do you stop?

(From the Better Late Than Never Department: )

Quote:
Originally posted by TeriDoodle
They successfully lose, say, 50 pounds, but are still another 50 pounds away from goal. They fall off the wagon....big time....and experience a sudden loss of control that they once had.


Okay, Ms. Doodle, have you been reading my mind while I've been away from the forums these past three months? This is exactly what I've been going through lately. My god, it's been a real trial to get back on the plan, which is just SO odd considering I'd been so disciplined in my first year of doing low-carb. Where did my control go?

Well, humans are funny creatures. Let a few things go awry in their lives, and they tend to turn to food in an attempt to make themselves happy. That's me. And it's been SO difficult to come back.

The only thing that finally got me back on track was the promise I made to myself about a half year ago: "I will never...EVER...again let myself get anywhere NEAR the 264 pounds I weighed when I started Atkins." So, when you make such a vow in the midst of the heady rush you get during a really great losing streak, it's a very very sobering thing to step on the scale and see the number "220" appear between your toes when it had been telling you "198" a few months earlier.

The numbers are heading back down finally; I'm taking steps to fix things in my life so I won't have to go through this again. It's a royal pain!


-- Nicky

Last edited by Ellipsis : Sat, Mar-08-03 at 16:58.
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  #83   ^
Old Sat, Mar-08-03, 22:19
TeriDoodle TeriDoodle is offline
Starting Over!
Posts: 3,435
 
Plan: Protein Power LifePlan
Stats: 182/178/150 Female 67 inches
BF:Jiggley mess
Progress: 13%
Location: Texas!!
Default

Quote:
Well, humans are funny creatures. Let a few things go awry in their lives, and they tend to turn to food in an attempt to make themselves happy. That's me. And it's been SO difficult to come back.
Hi Ellipsis-
I've been reading Schwarzbein (which I recommend to everyone, BTW) and now have a better understanding of how we use food as a "drug" to make us feel better when things go wrong. Carbs can act as a stimulant, just like caffeine, alcohol, tobacco or drugs....which raise seratonin levels temporarily but these substances produce high levels of insulin in the bloodstream which depletes seratonin. So you're robbing Peter to pay Paul, so to speak. The bottom line is that yes, eating carbs will make you feel better for the very short term, but the gross effect will be that your seratonin stores will be depleted and you'll feel even more depressed than before. So then you need more carbs to get your seratonin up and the cycle begins again.

Reducing stress is a factor that she emphasizes heavily for the same reasons....it starts a chain reaction that depletes seratonin. When we're stressed out and depressed, we also don't feel like exercising.... exercise helps to keep our seratonin levels up!! So it's no wonder, then, that in times of stress that we can easily find ourselves in a steep downward spiral.

The lesson is that when things go wrong in our lives it is SO VERY IMPORTANT to be even more diligent in staying on our plan.... if we don't, we can soon find ourselves on a very slippery slope indeed.

I'm glad you're working your way back to LC.... it really is the only game in town. You'll be feeling much better as the days go by... just be patient with yourself.
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  #84   ^
Old Sun, Mar-09-03, 09:58
patrizia patrizia is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 227
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 208.5/196/135 Female 5ft4
BF:
Progress: 17%
Location: Northern New England
Default

Thanks, Teri, for starting this thread. Reading all this was just was I needed today. I've been on this 10 day (or so) carbfest, and it has left me feeling depressed, bloated, angry, lazy, paranoid, and that frantic "need to control everything" is right in my face again. I don't like the person I become when I eat carbs.

I'm stepping back, accepting, again, that I am a carb addict. There is no "just this once" for me. It always leads to more and more. Thank god for Dr. Atkins.

Thanks, again, Teri. This forum is so great.

Patty
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  #85   ^
Old Sun, Mar-09-03, 12:51
SummerYet's Avatar
SummerYet SummerYet is offline
Reinventing Myself
Posts: 11,768
 
Plan: Doctor's Plan
Stats: */*/* Female 5 ft 3 in
BF:
Progress: 77%
Location: Scotch Plains, NJ
Default

OK...I have decided to try Atkins induction for the 1st time! Anyone want to join me? I have 3 so far We will be a mini support group! If anyone is interested let me know...

I have to shake this sabotage...I am busting through this til I hit 50# down and break the "curse"!

~Michelle
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  #86   ^
Old Mon, Mar-10-03, 07:01
Kingwood Kingwood is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 150
 
Plan: Atkins/testing CAD
Stats: 198/184/145
BF:
Progress: 26%
Location: Kingwood
Default A chance to sabatoge..

I had the perfect condidtions for self-sabatoge over the last 4 days. Life was hectic running around with my husband and realtor trying to find a home to buy. We were eating out more than usual, up early, to bed late, and I had to make a major deciision. Yep, thats all it takes to set me off on an eating frenzy. Especially when buying a home didn't feel very positive to me. But then of course I have a history of going into an eating frenzy celebrating good things too!! I guess all it takes is feeling emotionally charged, positively or negatively doesn't matter.

But this time was different. Why didn't I blow it and justify eating whatever I wanted? For me answering that question was important because I need to know what helps me to stay on course just as much as I need to know what causes me to sabagoe myself if I hope to succed this time. In my mind they are just opposite sides of the same coin.

The thoughts certainly went through my mind many times to eat what I wanted and worry about Atkins later and heaven knows my emotions were charged up too. So why didn't I blow it? Some might say it was because I was more committed to losing weight, but I know that wasn't true. The truth is, what kept me going was the sheer fact that the only thing I really have under my control in my life right now is what I put in my mouth. Somewhere inside me I knew that If I surrender that, I won't have control over anything. It was actually the fear of losing this one area of control that kept me on course.
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  #87   ^
Old Thu, Mar-13-03, 07:51
kimberlina's Avatar
kimberlina kimberlina is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 497
 
Plan: atkins
Stats: 168/158/148 Female 5'4"
BF:no clue!
Progress: 50%
Location: Ohio
Default

Congrats Kingwood for staying the course. and past experience reminds me about how awful you feel physically when you do indulge in nasty sugar and carbs!

keep on!
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  #88   ^
Old Thu, Mar-13-03, 09:33
Chasintrai Chasintrai is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 43
 
Plan: Atkinsish
Stats: 205/161/140 Female 65"
BF:
Progress: 68%
Location: Indiana
Default

Wow, this has really hit home. I'm struggling right now to get back on plan after bouncing around since Thanksgiving.

Reading some of your wonderful posts made me realize that there's alot more going on with me than just lack of discipline. I started Atkins last summer in a panic because I had 6 weeks to get "thin" before my best friends wedding. I didn't get thin, but I did love this WOE. I stayed on plan and did great, lost around 30 lbs by the beginning of November and felt better than I had in my entire life. Then my husband left me for another woman.... hmmmmm. It was shortly there after that I started bouncing around. I haven't gained, but I'm not eating right either. Reading this thread made me realize that somewhere back in my head is this little record playing "well, I lost all of this and he left me anyway, what's the sense in keeping on, it doesn't matter...."

I think there's also some of the issues that Donald raised. Since then I've entered a relationship with a new man, things are going well, so now I've got that comfort zone to deal with too. I think that there's alot of "well, if he really loves me, he won't care if I get fat again, and it's only one bowl of ice cream..." <sigh>

I want to thank you folks for this thread, really making me think and listen to what's really going on in my head when I'm not paying attention ;>

Tamara
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  #89   ^
Old Thu, Mar-13-03, 10:01
TeriDoodle TeriDoodle is offline
Starting Over!
Posts: 3,435
 
Plan: Protein Power LifePlan
Stats: 182/178/150 Female 67 inches
BF:Jiggley mess
Progress: 13%
Location: Texas!!
Default

We're glad you're here Tamara!! Stick around, you'll make some GREAT new friends!!!
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  #90   ^
Old Thu, Mar-13-03, 11:54
DDMariana's Avatar
DDMariana DDMariana is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 2,337
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 196/179/150
BF:Ugh!
Progress: 37%
Location: Vacaville, California
Default

Hello everyone, Teri, this is a great opportunity, and you know I have tons to write out...but I guess I've been avoiding the posting process because it is bound to need my undivided attention...and deep digging.

I'm reading intently...re-reading some, and finding myself everywhere. I'm interested in this very issue not only for my own healing process but also because I'm involved in serious research right now regarding the peripheral things surrounding weight loss... the fear, the shame, the lack of protection, the fear of commitment, adventure, success... etc.

I'm lurking...listening...learning. And I'll be back in a more quiet opportunity. But congratulations to all you souls brave and willing to confront yourselves... I'm hoping to do the same next time I visit!

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