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  #1   ^
Old Fri, Dec-01-17, 07:55
robynsnest's Avatar
robynsnest robynsnest is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,734
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 336/288/199 Female 5'11"
BF:Losing it....
Progress: 35%
Location: Canada ay?
Default How will you deal with the stress of the holidays?

I stress eat- a lot, all kinds of stuff, any ideas how I can deal?
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  #2   ^
Old Fri, Dec-01-17, 11:07
khrussva's Avatar
khrussva khrussva is offline
Posts: 5,940
 
Plan: My own - < 30 net carbs
Stats: 440/208/210 Male 5' 11"
BF:Energy Unleashed
Progress: 101%
Location: Central Virginia - USA
Default

I think most everybody builds a relationship over a lifetime with the pleasures and comfort of food as a release for stress and our emotional highs & lows. I believe that the bond is even stronger for us TDC types. It is a simple fact that when you want to eat something there is pleasure and release by acting on that desire. Eating carbs made me frequently hungry, even when I'd already had plenty to eat. So I would resist the urge to eat. That just added to the stress. Then I'd get sick, angry, or otherwise run out of willpower and snap... I'd be munching down something for relief. The more stressed I was the bigger the relief was when I ate something. I think that is how my binge behavior got started. Over a lifetime this behavior became deeply entrenched.

I still stress eat, but not nearly as much as I used to. And though I really try not to I still occasionally binge on OP food. It is not optimal, but that is my second line of defense. Sticking to the better foods helps keep things from getting out of hand.

What has helped me was realizing that the relief that I get from eating LC food is not the same as it was when I was downing carbs for relief. For the first 8 or 9 months of my journey snacking and grazing between meals and before bed was my norm. Some of it was stress related, especially when it was helping me deal with carb cravings. But eventually I realized that much of it was just old habits. I used the 90 day challenge to work on it. At first it was simply not eating after dinner. That was a tough one for me. I started off not eating after 9pm, then 8pm, and eventually I was able to curb most after dinner munching. Then I worked on between meal snacks. Eventually I got to where food was something that I ate at mealtime only. Doing that consistently weakened the bonds between stress and a desire to eat. I think working a full time job 5 days a week made this task easier, but it wasn't easy. It was hard work, sorry to say. It paid off though. I started eating less and the weight loss continued. Continued progress helped keep me motivated to do the work.

In "maintenance" I let some of those old habits slip back in. Not being strict with eating at mealtime only has resulted in me doing more stress eating and mindless munching. I think that is a big reason why "maintenance" may not be the proper word to describe what I've done over the past 16 months. So I am still having to work on this. I just got over being sick for over half of the month of November. I did some stress eating last month and count myself lucky that I ended the month at the same weight that I started.

All we can do is keep trying to do better. Keeping the carbs really low helps. So does that 90 day challenge. We all have things that we need to work out. We wouldn't be here if we didn't. I think that we TDCers have a tougher row to hoe. But we can do this and support from our buddies on this forum will help us find a way.

Last edited by khrussva : Fri, Dec-01-17 at 12:20.
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  #3   ^
Old Fri, Dec-01-17, 11:18
Maeve's Avatar
Maeve Maeve is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 939
 
Plan: Lchf
Stats: 189.2/174.8/159 Female 5'5
BF:
Progress: 48%
Location: Georgia
Default

Robyn, I’m hoping that seeing the scale move down a little it recently will motivate me to stay op. I think I’ve gotten over the terrible sugar cravings, so desserts shouldn’t be a problem for me.
I think the hardest part will be turning down the champagne and eggnog! Might have to make a tiny exception there...we’ll see!😊
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  #4   ^
Old Fri, Dec-01-17, 11:24
Meme#1's Avatar
Meme#1 Meme#1 is online now
Senior Member
Posts: 7,900
 
Plan: Atkins DANDR
Stats: 210/183/160 Female 5'4"
BF:
Progress: 54%
Location: Texas
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by khrussva
I think most everybody builds a relationship over a lifetime with the pleasures and comfort of food as a release for stress and our emotional highs & lows. I believe that the bond is even stronger for use TDC types. It is a simple fact that when you want to eat something there is pleasure and release by acting on that desire. Eating carbs made me frequently hungry, even when I'd already had plenty to eat. So I would resist the urge to eat. That just added to the stress. Then I'd get sick, angry, or otherwise run out of willpower and snap... I'd be munching down something for relief. The more stressed I was the bigger the relief was when I ate something. I think that is how my binge behavior got started. Over a lifetime this behavior became deeply entrenched.

I still stress eat, but not nearly as much as I used to. And though I really try not to I still occasionally binge on OP food. It is not optimal, but that is my second line of defense. Sticking to the better foods helps keep things from getting out of hand.

What has helped me was realizing that the relief that I get from eating LC food is not the same as it was when I was downing carbs for relief. For the first 8 or 9 months of my journey snacking and grazing between meals and before bed was my norm. Some of it was stress related, especially when it was helping me deal with carb cravings. But eventually I realized that much of it was just old habits. I used the 90 day challenge to work on it. At first it was simply not eating after dinner. That was a tough one for me. I started off not eating after 9pm, then 8pm, and eventually I was able to curb most after dinner munching. Then I worked on between meal snacks. Eventually I got to where food was something that I ate at mealtime only. Doing that consistently weakened the bonds between stress and a desire to eat. I think working a full time job 5 days a week made this task easier, but it wasn't easy. It was hard work, sorry to say. It paid off though. I started eating less and the weight loss continued. Continued progress helped keep me motivated to do the work.

In "maintenance" I let some of those old habits slip back in. Not being strict with eating at mealtime only has resulted in me doing more stress eating and mindless munching. I think that is a big reason why "maintenance" may not be the proper word to describe what I've done over the past 16 months. So I am still having to work on this. I just got over being sick for over half of the month of November. I did some stress eating last month and count myself lucky that I ended the month at the same weight that I started.

All we can do is keep trying to do better. Keeping the carbs really low helps. So does that 90 day challenge. We all have things that we need to work out. We wouldn't be here if we didn't. I think that we TDCers have a tougher row to hoe. But we can do this and support from our buddies on this forum will help us find a way.


Wow Ken, that was great reading and I really appreciate all the tips and perspectives of what happens in the course of staying OP.
Thanks for posting!
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  #5   ^
Old Fri, Dec-01-17, 14:44
esw's Avatar
esw esw is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 555
 
Plan: atkins
Stats: 175/155/147 Female 5ft 5ins
BF:
Progress: 71%
Location: UK
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This will always be a work in progress for me but I resonate with some of Khrussva's tips. Particularly not eating between meals. This has taken me a long time to get my head around as I always thought little and often was better. You will likely already be having enough fat and protein in your meal, so in theory, should be able to go fairly comfortably without eating until next meal time. This has been a real biggie but saves a lot of calories and inappropriate eating. I like the way Khrussva approached this just doing it in stages. It's also helpful to think about the next meal. How tasty it will be and how I can eat a bit more as I haven't snacked. We need to get our head around habitual eating and the difference between real hunger and head hunger.Also try to drink lots of water/tea as sometimes we just want that hand to mouth comfort.
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  #6   ^
Old Fri, Dec-01-17, 15:26
thud123's Avatar
thud123 thud123 is online now
Senior Member
Posts: 4,212
 
Plan: ~25NC/IF
Stats: 342.2/003.4/000 Male 72 inches
BF:
Progress: 99%
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robynsnest
I stress eat- a lot, all kinds of stuff, any ideas how I can deal?

Only one answer I can think of; Reduce stress. Much stress comes from personalizing things that are in no way personal - but we can take them that way.

Let the mosquito bite; let the mosquito fly away. Do not interfere, watch how your mind works
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  #7   ^
Old Fri, Dec-01-17, 17:20
cotonpal's Avatar
cotonpal cotonpal is offline
Posts: 3,343
 
Plan: very low carb real food
Stats: 245/128/135 Female 62
BF:
Progress: 106%
Location: Vermont
Default

Prioritize your health. Don't let a day go by when you don't spend some time thinking or meditating on how important your health is and how you will jeopardize your health if you eat off plan. Tell yourself this, meditate on this, day after day after day and soon it will become second nature. I don't eat poison. Off plan food is poison. I ate poison on Thanksgiving. It was the first time in a year. I will not be doing it again. My blood glucose sky rocketed. I won't be doing that again. My health trumps everything. I tell myself that I don't eat poison. You need to transform your mind to transform your eating permanently. Otherwise you will allow other excuses and temptations to dominate. Works for me.

Jean
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  #8   ^
Old Sat, Dec-02-17, 11:05
Blue Ruby Blue Ruby is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 304
 
Plan: atkins
Stats: 200/179/160 Female 5'7"
BF:
Progress: 53%
Location: Vancouver (the one in BC)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by thud123
Only one answer I can think of; Reduce stress. Much stress comes from personalizing things that are in no way personal - but we can take them that way.

Let the mosquito bite; let the mosquito fly away. Do not interfere, watch how your mind works


And so ... how do we find that mindset?

Robyn, I've been working on this stress eating (and no after dinner eating, and eating that is meal-based, rather than snacking, etc etc) all year. In bits and pieces. What I can add to the good suggestions here (eat enough fat for satiety, stay as low carb as possible, and if you must stress-eat, eat OP foods; reduce stress; keep focussed on the health and weightloss markers; meditate on your mindset and beliefs) is this last thing...

maybe try to notice the "pre-stress" moments, the times when you are dealing and coping well but getting a little ramped up and then, at that early stage, take a break. Stop. Do a 3 - 5 min breathing exercise. mentally step aside, or inward, to a calm, loving place for yourself. go for a 10 min walk. drink a glass of water. And do one thing that is a comfort to you (for me it is a cup of tea with cream, or a short chat / text with a friend.)

(At a holiday gathering, this could be going to the bathroom to be on your own for a few minutes. Or letting people assume that is what you have done, and stepping out onto the porch and breathing some cool fresh air.)

What i have noticed is that those types of things (standard, deal with stress advice) don;t work for me once i let the stress get too high. If I am stressed out, it is too late for those small things. But if i intervene in early stages, i can get a grip - with practice, I can actually feel better.

With practice, those things allow me to get closer to the mindset Thud described.

At first i was so impatient and felt like a 3 min breathing exercise was too much and i didn;t have time. Which, on reflection, made me laugh and have to acknowledge that that reaction was actually the PROOF that i was stressing and that i had to intervene.

Hope this helps.

The holidays can be stressful -- Let's hang onto each other here and focus on enjoying our loved ones AND taking care of ourselves.
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  #9   ^
Old Sun, Dec-03-17, 01:44
kathleen24 kathleen24 is offline
Monday came.
Posts: 4,154
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 275/139.6/155 Female 5'4"
BF:ummm . . . ?
Progress: 113%
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue Ruby
The holidays can be stressful -- Let's hang onto each other here and focus on enjoying our loved ones AND taking care of ourselves.


How about we keep this thread active into January so that whenever any of us need a helping hand we have this tool in our toolbox?

And Robynsnest, I think just by anticipating this and looking for solutions you are rehearsing for success. That was your thread, was it not, about dealing with evening eating? A lot of those tips could apply to this situation.

I completely agree with the `reduce stress' advice--all the advice and thoughtful discussion above. I think the pendulum is swinging back now about having meaningful interactions over the holidays, rather than making ourselves crazy by consumeristic holiday behaviors. So you may find support for the doing-more-with-less approach to holidaying won't make you odd-man-out.


I have learned over time that part of our responsibilities is to do the things that make us happy. Making music makes me happy, so I do that every day. Swimming makes me happy. I might try to talk myself out of going, but after twenty minutes the worst of moods begins to just fade away. I listen to music on a waterproof ipod, and leave there happy. Not saying these work for everyone, but find the things that make you happy and do some of them every day. Happiness is clearly water soluble, and needs to be replenished daily. We need it.

AA'ers have a saying: HALT, which is an acronymic reminder not to let yourself get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. Good advice. I'm not my best self in any of those states, and it's hard to make good decisions then.
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  #10   ^
Old Sun, Dec-03-17, 13:52
robynsnest's Avatar
robynsnest robynsnest is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,734
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 336/288/199 Female 5'11"
BF:Losing it....
Progress: 35%
Location: Canada ay?
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Thank you to everyone for your thoughtful responses. I completely agree that we should keep this thread going, more tools we have in our belt, the better off we will be.
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  #11   ^
Old Fri, Dec-08-17, 09:53
kathleen24 kathleen24 is offline
Monday came.
Posts: 4,154
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 275/139.6/155 Female 5'4"
BF:ummm . . . ?
Progress: 113%
Default

So how's everybody doing with the annual food-fest?

I had someone meet me at my office door with a bag of chocolate the other day, and offered it to me. I politely declined, and she said, "Are you sure? It's dark chocolate." I told her I had probably already had my share of chocolate, and smiled and thanked her. I know she meant kindly.

There is an on-going, rotating supply of sweets in our break-room. Again, well meant. Does it bother me? A little. Am I going there? No, I'm not.

It's been a stressful couple of weeks at work and in the town I live in (multiple murders last month, each more gruesome than the last, which have the general populace a bit on edge). I'm finding my balance again, but very much looking forward to the weekend.

I plan to just keep doing what's been working for me so far.

How about you?
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  #12   ^
Old Fri, Dec-08-17, 10:31
khrussva's Avatar
khrussva khrussva is offline
Posts: 5,940
 
Plan: My own - < 30 net carbs
Stats: 440/208/210 Male 5' 11"
BF:Energy Unleashed
Progress: 101%
Location: Central Virginia - USA
Default

Holiday junk is starting to show up at work. It is overindulge season for all of the carbivores. The centerpiece is the annual vendor gift of a $200 box of Godiva chocolate truffles. It showed up at our office a few days ago. They are going fast. My wife had be bring a few home for her. I touched them. I smelled them. I was not overly tempted by them. My wife got my share. I had none. This is my 3rd pass through the holidays staying out of the chocolates. I'm sure more junk is on the way. If some nuts show up I may snag a few of those. But that is as far as I go with dipping into the holiday treats at work. My co-workers think I have willpower of steel. I don't. If I did, then I could stop after having one piece of something sweet. Staying out of it is the only game I can play if I want to win the battle of the bulge.
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  #13   ^
Old Fri, Dec-08-17, 10:41
robynsnest's Avatar
robynsnest robynsnest is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,734
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 336/288/199 Female 5'11"
BF:Losing it....
Progress: 35%
Location: Canada ay?
Default

Running around, shopping, appointments etc....thoughts often go to quick and convenient and comforting, just need to keep the fridge stocked and keep my resolve ( easier said than done some days)
Really trying to not get caught up in the commercial hype and let myself get carried away with the spirit, I am doing random acts of kindness, as little as offering a smile and a kind word, everyone is soooo stressed 😩
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  #14   ^
Old Fri, Dec-08-17, 10:42
Meme#1's Avatar
Meme#1 Meme#1 is online now
Senior Member
Posts: 7,900
 
Plan: Atkins DANDR
Stats: 210/183/160 Female 5'4"
BF:
Progress: 54%
Location: Texas
Default

Guess what I did with a box of the most wonderful high quality chocolates last year?
I dumped the whole thing in the kitchen trash can then covered it all with old coffee grounds and other kitchen trash!
Problem solved and not calling my name anymore...
You do what you need to do for self preservation!
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  #15   ^
Old Fri, Dec-08-17, 16:42
kathleen24 kathleen24 is offline
Monday came.
Posts: 4,154
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 275/139.6/155 Female 5'4"
BF:ummm . . . ?
Progress: 113%
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by khrussva
My co-workers think I have willpower of steel. I don't. If I did, then I could stop after having one piece of something sweet. Staying out of it is the only game I can play if I want to win the battle of the bulge.
I saw something yesterday: "99% is a b*tch. 100% is a breeze." I am clinging to my insight that given the opportunity to make decisions, I make crappy decisions. So I minimize the number of decisions I have to make.

Stress continues at work. Opportunities to go face down in food continues at work. Friday afternoon rolling to a close. Yay for that! What a week!

robynsnest, keep up the random acts of kindness--maybe the ripples will spread this far!

Meme, I respect your strength--not in dumping them, but rather in refraining from scraping the coffee grounds off (they wouldn't have stopped me in a chocolate-feeding frenzy), giving them a quick rinse (unless I was craving mocha), and eating them. And that's just sad, but it's also the truth. I'm glad today that the good food I have available is enough.

New mantra: January is coming.

Last edited by kathleen24 : Fri, Dec-08-17 at 18:07.
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