Have been all over the internet looking for information... I'm soooooo glad to have found this forum! Where to start? ...

As an introduction to me... my name is Jean, I'm 64 and live in northern Wisconsin with my parents (as of Dec '15). I have three grown kids (Krista 37, Steve 30, Matt 27). I'm a firm believer in God and the Bible, natural healing, the power of the internet, and the conspiracy "theory". I love researching these subjects, doing crafts, reading, cooking. Other than that, nothing much of any particular interest to tell.

My 91 year old Mother was first diagnosed with diabetes 4 mo. ago (Dec '15). She went in because she apparently had a stroke on Thanksgiving and she's been getting extremely fatigued (not like her at all)... and at the same time, she was also informed she has a heart problem too. So this all hit her at the same time and freaked her out. My Father has had 3 heart bypasses. I suspect I'm on the same road as both of them.

We've always been "healthy" eaters, and with my Dad's heart problems, we seriously cut down on sweets, etc... Mostly cooking from scratch with very little pre-packaged processed stuff. Now these problems come up with Mom, and I get online and start studying, only to discover that everything we've been told about heart and diabetes diets is totally wrong... which explains why the "disease" of diabetes will always "progress", requiring more and stronger pharmaceutical drugs as time passes.

Well, Mom believes and trusts in her government and in doctors and the medical industry... she grew up when there was no penicillin, antibiotics, etc. and people died from relatively ordinary illnesses. So she also firmly believes in the food pyramid, and eating lots of carbs and no fats. And I get my information off the internet, which she is convinced is comprised of bullies, thieves and liars. IOW, she doesn't want to listen to any new ideas, like low carbs/high fats, in particular.

So here's the problem. The old guidelines say no fat for heart problems, and lots of carbs for heart and diabetes... and she's insisting on it! Her blood sugar tests are generally in the low to high 200's, and she wants MORE carbs! For three days, I had her on low carbs, semi-higher fats and her tests were in the low 100-mid 200 range. But I was listening to quacks on the internet instead of REAL doctors, and she was having carb withdrawals... so back to the high carbs.

In addition, she's convinced that there are different diets that must be followed for heart and diabetes. The idea of just eating a good healthy diet with less carbs and more fat is just not anywhere on her radar.

In addition, she's not fat (5'4" and 132 lbs), and she started to lose weight on this new diet of low carbs/high fats. Freaked her out again. She's refusing to eat the fats, so has no fat to burn for energy, and she's hungry hungry hungry. She eats as much as a young healthy man and is still losing weight.

I moved in with my parents after the stroke to take care of them, so I'm doing all the cooking now, but she watches me like a hawk.

Given the huge amount she eats and the fact that I was giving her extra fats (under extreme criticism), I cannot understand WHY she started losing weight (she really can't afford to lose it). I'm also looking for any suggestions on how to show her the old diets are not only wrong, but dangerously unhealthy, as it will lead to more drugs. For suggestions on how to show her/convince her to give this new diet idea a fair trial. And for suggestions on how I can sneak some fats in, and leave some carbs out. I would appreciate any thoughts or ideas anyone can offer.

Jeannie

I don't have any specific advice for you, only commiseration. I know that I could never convince my mother to make any changes to her diet. She believed the doctors and she believed in low fat. When I suggested to her that she might be able to improve her "ibs" by omitting wheat she got angry with me and that was something that hardly ever happened. I got the sense that the thought of disrupting her routine was simply intolerable to her. She always had a bagel for breakfasat and that was the way it was going to remain. It seemed more an emotinal issue than anything else and no logic was able to sway her. In fact she would not even listen to me. She was in her late 80's when we had this conversation. I also could not convince her to leave the skin on the chicken that she was at that time preparing for both of us. I gave up but I wasn't living with her and I didn't prepare her meals. Also she did not have diabetes. I wish I could offer you some useful and optimistic advice but I had to give up trying to change my mother's mind on diet. It just wasn't going to happen.

Jean

She's 91 and you're the child. Two reasons why she won't listen to a thing you say. Relax and pray. If you can find a local doc or nurse practitioner who supports low-carb for healing, try to get a consultation and let the advice come from him or her.

Perhaps show her how much money she can save on prescription drugs.

I'm tempted to say that the "heart problem" is not that big a deal. Doctors have fancy diagnostic equipment to find all sorts of stuff that they might as well leave well enough alone. She's 91 for pete's sake! Don't let them start in on procedures and medications without getting plenty of opinions please.

But back to square one. Don't fight with your mom. Take a deep breath and gently introduce tasty foods that just happen to involve a bit more fat and a bit less starch. Tempt her with bacon? A favorite LC recipe around here is Mashed Fauxtatoes--cauliflower cooked soft and mashed with butter and cream cheese and seasonings. She doesn't have to know it's got a lot of fat and low carbs.

You have my sympathy and best wishes.

First of all, if her diabetes is Type 2, that's one issue. If it's Type 1, very rare to have a new diagnosis in someone her age, but if the pancreas gives out...Type 1.

So. If she has Type 1 diabetes, eating a bunch of sugar WILL make her lose weight, because she can't use it--it just floats along in the bloodstream, and there either is no or too little insulin to clear it and carry it to the fat cells for storage.

Beyond that, it's NOT the old advice that people should eat carbs for diabetes. That became the standard sometime during the 80's and 90's.

Before there were drugs for T2D, before there was insulin that could be injected, the ONLY way people with diabetes could keep from dying was to eat extremely low carb, and high fat.

If you can decode the language of medicine and biochemistry, I recommend that you look on google scholar.

Your mom is right, in part: there is an enormous amount of misinformation on the internet, and it can become, on any particular subject, an echo chamber, where people repeat and repeat the same lies and half truths to each other.

But google scholar is just that: for scholarly works on various topics, from law to physics to medicine.

In reality, though, I agree with Jean. A 91 year old woman who is stubborn will most likely NOT allow the changes in diet that she needs.

People who have eaten high carb diets lose weight on low carb because they jettison so much water at first. Then there's all that visceral fat that is probably contributing to their diabetes, like around in the liver and around the organs. I think as long as you're eating enough calories and fat, it really shouldn't be a problem.

IMHO you should be prepared to lose this battle. 91 years of "doctor knows best" is a really tough fight.

Jeannie, I echo the others' comments. Your mother is 91, she's not likely to change, and, despite the diabetes she must be doing something right for HER, to have gotten this far.

I went through a similar situation with my mother when she had a mild heart attack at age 62. I appointed myself Grand High Exalted Nutrition Nazi, determined to rescue my mom by making sure she ate all the right foods--just as the handout said--lots of fruit and whole grains, and no butter or fried chicken (her favorite), and only vinegar on a salad. YUCK!

She told me she'd rather check out early than live 20 more years gagging down food she hated. Where was the joy in that, she said. What good is toast without butter?

In the end, I let her win. It was her choice to make.

Wish you all the best.

You described it so perfectly.

I will look for a doctor or nurse practioner in this area, although its not very likely... but its a wonderful suggestion I hadn't even thought of. I totally agree with not getting excited about the heart problem. It's got to be fairly unimportant, and she's really in pretty good shape for her age.

The cauliflower with butter and cream cheese sounds great, and its something she'll really love... will try that out tonight. The bacon is another story... tried that one day and it really set her off. From that day on, she was on a mission... every time she sees me in kitchen, she jumps up and runs in there to make sure I'm not adding any fats.

MikiSue,

Its T2D. The only thing I can think is that I didn't get enough fats in her diet to make up for the carbs I was leaving out. She's particularly weird about this, because her mother died from diabetes complications at the age of 52 (1953)... apparently had insulin shock (?), passed out while in the bathtub and drowned. Not entirely sure what happened there.
I'm very aware of the weirdness you can find on the internet, but there is no greater research tool. Will check out Google Scholar... all the years I've been on the internet, have never gone there.

Good lord. You are earning stars in your crown, aren't you?

Nancy,
Thanks for that info... have never heard that. Do you know of any video or web pages that explain that?

Welcome Jean, as others have said...that IS a tough one.
Only adding that Dr. William Davis is in Milwaukee and is a cardiologist. http://www.wheatbellyblog.com
His diet is all real foods and a bit more moderate about the fats and still has fruits, some carbs. http://www.wheatbellyblog.com/2012/...-quick-dirty-2/
There are some others in Wisconsin here: http://lowcarbdoctors.blogspot.com and here: http://primaldocs.com/members/?s2-s...C+United+States

there is an article here about water weight loss, typical patterns:
http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthread.php?t=365499

Wishing you all the best and tons of patience, you'll need it.

Rian,
You're right... you all said the same thing... I need to calm down and accept the fact that she's not going to hear me no matter what I say, no matter what proof I can show her.

I just have to figure out some way to get rid of the carbs and add fat for myself... hard to do when what she wants me to make is casseroles and other mixed dishes. I've been cooking the way she wants, to avoid the conflict as she gets so upset.

At the same time, I've been pointing out to her the high blood sugar levels following high carbs... she's starting to catch on to that. I've explained to her that when she goes back to the doctor for the 3 mo. test (AC1?), her numbers will be the same or higher, and the doctor is going to want to give her more drugs... which she REALLY doesn't want. They already have her on Warfarin, Glipizide and Metroprolol. She forgot to take them one morning, and I found her sitting in the livingroom sobbing uncontrollably, until she had her meds.

I'm thinking when the doctor tries to add meds, I may put my foot down and say "NO! ... Before we go there, we're going to try it my way for one month and see where her blood sugar levels go!"

She's doing massive amounts of reading on the subject, but its ALL high carbs/low fat... which is exactly what she wants to hear. I'm looking over the various diets and trying to decide which is the best way to go with her, so I can get books showing the low carb/high fat side of the issue. At this point, I'm thinking the Paleo diet, as it should include old-fashioned off-the-farm type recipes that she can relate to. I know she won't go for any of the tofu/quinoa/green smoothie/kale type foods... I need basics.

Any thoughts on that? Would one of the other diets fit better? Any particular books that would explain the hows and whys in plain English, or that have the plain old-fashioned foods/recipes without all the new-fangled stuff she will resist?

She may be 91. But you, therefore, as it's not possible that you were born when she was in her 70's, are a fully independent adult.

So, you have the right to tell her what YOU choose to eat. You get to tell her that you'll cook what she requests for her and your dad, but that you will be eating low carb, because you don't want to have the health issues that she's developing at her age.

Nicely, of course! But we all learn that just because someone else is eating something we consider toxic, doesn't mean that we are required to eat it, too.

That's so simple and direct and honest... who'da thunk it? And actually, if I had her take my blood sugar levels with her little device, while on her diet, and later after changing to my own diet, she might rethink things, as it would be MY problem, and not hers... not quite as personal.

How do you all feel about the organic issue? To me, it seems very important, but she won't go there because of the cost.