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  #16   ^
Old Wed, Aug-27-14, 10:05
jessdamess's Avatar
jessdamess jessdamess is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 3,162
 
Plan: LCHF, 100g
Stats: 252/160/150 Female 69.5 inches
BF:
Progress: 90%
Location: Northeast TN
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Yay for homeschoolers!

My oldest will be 17 when she starts college, if not younger. Good luck on the stress factor!
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  #17   ^
Old Wed, Aug-27-14, 14:27
msmum1977's Avatar
msmum1977 msmum1977 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,172
 
Plan: VLC/Carnivore
Stats: 369/301/299 Female 5'9"
BF:too much.
Progress: 97%
Location: Eastern Ontario, Canada
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All this said, I think there is a real problem with fat people being seen as invisible. I can't tell you how many times I've been interrupted, brushed off, or doors slammed as I'm approaching, or my personal favorite - almost being pushed aside as I approach a door (someone hurrying in front of me to squeeze through first - as though I will get stuck in the door and they will NEVER make it through - OH NO!!!!).

Maybe I'm sensitive to it being a weight thing - however, I can tell you, when I was of a lighter weight (upper 100s), a LOT more doors were held open for me. Literally.

I can tell a truly sensitive mannerly person by the way they treat me. Myself, I treat everyone the same. At work, whether they are at my level or not (I'm high up corporately but work at a smaller store where most are entry level employees)for example, I engage with everyone equally - ask about their children, speak pleasantly to everyone, listen as they speak, and hold open doors (even for men) because it's GOOD MANNERS. I have not gotten the same treatment in return.

People are very dismissive of overweight individuals IMO.
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  #18   ^
Old Wed, Aug-27-14, 16:29
Luckyk26's Avatar
Luckyk26 Luckyk26 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 671
 
Plan: Keto
Stats: 225/213.8/150 Female 5 ft 4 in
BF:
Progress: 15%
Location: New Jersey
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Nobody noticed mine until about 40 lbs in. Then when someone at work did say something they followed it up with "I didn't want to say anything in case you were sick". I think weight is such a touchy subject that no one wants to approach it so they just ignore. People are noticing - they just don't know what to say. Keep it up! You'll be turning heads in no time!
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  #19   ^
Old Thu, Aug-28-14, 15:46
leelanau leelanau is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 433
 
Plan: Ketogenic
Stats: 288/224.8/180 Female 66 in
BF:
Progress: 59%
Location: MI
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Jessdamess... this is my second child in college at age 16. Dual-enrollment through the local college. I'd be happy to discuss our experience if you ever have questions.
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  #20   ^
Old Thu, Sep-18-14, 10:20
Anguwa's Avatar
Anguwa Anguwa is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 33
 
Plan: LCHF
Stats: 215/210/165 Female 5'7"
BF:
Progress: 10%
Location: IL
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Leelanau

I second the comment about NOT cutting your hair.

That is such a personal choice and I am appalled that people feel they have the right to comment on your style by saying things like "You are too old for hair that long". Incredible!

They wouldn't have the nerve to say it about your clothing choices I would bet, but hair - for some reason is fair game.

I will be 60 in a few months and sporting thick, red, "thigh length" hair and planning to go for knee length just to see if I can do it. Since I wear it in a bun most days people aren't privvy to exactly how long it is so the comments are rare.

On the occasions when I wear it down in a braid (never loose, it would get shut in doors if I did) I usually get several comments a day - but all positive as in "OMG, your hair is so long. It is really pretty"
I haven't given in to the grey yet - waiting for it to be more uniformly white before I give up the auburn shade I have been sporting for 25 years (normally it's blah light brown). I am actually looking forward to having LONG WHITE HAIR.
That can be spectacular!
So go your own way and tell them to chuck it. I actually consider it a challenge when people question my long hair choice (like sister who wears a man's haircut). If they ask "Why?" I say, "Because I can" ... that's why.
PS - You might want to join the Long Hair Community on Facebook - lots of older ladies there sporting some lovely long hair, many of them grey. https://www.facebook.com/groups/389020237837853/
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  #21   ^
Old Thu, Sep-18-14, 10:38
Nancy LC's Avatar
Nancy LC Nancy LC is offline
Experimenter
Posts: 45,189
 
Plan: Paleo 99.5%
Stats: 210/170/160 Female 67.5"
BF:
Progress: 80%
Location: San Diego, CA
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Now, now... don't knock women who sport short haircuts by saying it is a man's haircut. If it is on a woman, it is a woman's haircut.

I'm about to succumb to the fashion of a short-do for over-50 women. For me it is because I'm sick of having to spend so much time trying to get my hair to behave when it is shoulder length. I've also started swimming and I want something easy to take care of. I'm also thinking of letting the color revert because of the expense. We shall see!
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  #22   ^
Old Thu, Sep-18-14, 15:41
Bonnie OFS Bonnie OFS is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,987
 
Plan: Dr. Bernstein
Stats: 188/160/135 Female 5 ft 4 inches
BF:
Progress: 53%
Location: NE WA
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I'm 61 & have waist-length hair, tho since I wear it in a bun few people notice. I'm too inept to do one braid, but I used to wear it that way when my daughter was still home to braid it for me. I've never wanted to dye my hair simply because that would be just one more thing on my to-do list. Plus I'd probably not be able to remember what the previous color was.

My inspiration to not cut my hair when I got older was seeing an older lady with pure white hair in a thick braid that came below her waist. She was beautiful!

I know a man who's about my age who also wears his long, white hair in a braid. He's beautiful, too!

If I end up in a nursing home, I suppose they'll cut my hair, but I won't like it - if I notice.
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  #23   ^
Old Mon, Sep-22-14, 01:06
Anguwa's Avatar
Anguwa Anguwa is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 33
 
Plan: LCHF
Stats: 215/210/165 Female 5'7"
BF:
Progress: 10%
Location: IL
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Nancy - Yes, I was being a smarta#$ - but it is my sister so I can get away with it - especially since she just the other day made the classic disparaging comment about an older woman with shoulder length hair - "She's too old for long hair." ... grrr.

Bonnie - Do a Google search for Rope Braid. It is super simple, just two strands that you twist and it looks cool.
I do a bun with hair sticks pretty much every day but a braid is nice for a change. Braided buns are more interesting too.
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  #24   ^
Old Wed, Sep-24-14, 14:13
leelanau leelanau is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 433
 
Plan: Ketogenic
Stats: 288/224.8/180 Female 66 in
BF:
Progress: 59%
Location: MI
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Glad to see I'm in good company with ladies who love their long hair, long after others cut theirs. I've done the super short, and it just wasn't for me. I've colored, cut it all off to go grey, let it grow, colored it again, then finally tossed in the towel. Let it grow out through the skunky stage, and haven't touched it with chemicals in about five years.

I'm going to check on that rope braid. I braid mine almost every day, but its thinning (genetics), so I'd love to change it up every now and then. Wish I still had the super thick hair of my youth, but it would probably weigh 5 pounds. LOL
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  #25   ^
Old Wed, Sep-24-14, 15:02
Bonnie OFS Bonnie OFS is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,987
 
Plan: Dr. Bernstein
Stats: 188/160/135 Female 5 ft 4 inches
BF:
Progress: 53%
Location: NE WA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anguwa
Bonnie - Do a Google search for Rope Braid. It is super simple, just two strands that you twist and it looks cool.


I used to do that back in the 70s. We had a different name for it then - a South or Central American country, I think. I think I'll try it again.
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  #26   ^
Old Mon, Sep-29-14, 01:31
Anguwa's Avatar
Anguwa Anguwa is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 33
 
Plan: LCHF
Stats: 215/210/165 Female 5'7"
BF:
Progress: 10%
Location: IL
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Bonnie

It is easy to do. Separate into two sections behind the head. Take one and start to twist it one direction near the nape. Do a few twists, then hold it if you can with your ring and little finger so you can use the thumb and index to help twist the other side (go the same direction IE: counter clockwise). once you get a few inches of each strand twisted you are then going to take the and twist around each other in the opposite direction.
I can usually do this for about 3-4 turns, then have to bring it around my shoulder to finish. This part is tricky, I find if I close my eyes I can do it without thinking (because you need to do everything in reverse). Finish to near the end and tie off.
The braid will loosen somewhat - so try and get as tight a twist at the start. It does help to do it on damp or oiled hair if you want a really compact look.
I use it as a "sleep braid" because it doesn't give me braid waves the next day - I am plenty wavy already and prefer a smoother look.
PS - I am 60 and have fingertip length hair (upper thigh) and going for knee length, just to see if I can do it. My hair is still pretty darned thick so I figure why not. I think I will post a hair pic as my "before" photo ... lol.
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  #27   ^
Old Mon, Oct-20-14, 09:50
leelanau leelanau is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 433
 
Plan: Ketogenic
Stats: 288/224.8/180 Female 66 in
BF:
Progress: 59%
Location: MI
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Update... two months later, my mom finally noticed the weight loss. I had to yank on my pants a few times, and I guess she couldn't help but notice the baggy legs on my jeans.

Her first question was if I bought new pants, but I just came right out with it, and said 'I lost 35 pounds'. Her shocked look said it all. I still don't look much different to her.

A friend that came to visit, and had been one of my sounding boards, said she saw the loss in my face. She had lost the same amount over a two year period after moving away to another state, so it was obvious she was down substantially too. On her very petite frame, it was drastic! Unfortunately, her losses were due from being homesick for all of her friends across the country, so it made me sad at the same time. I hated to see just how much she disliked living there, as I was hoping she had finally made some new friends. No such luck.

She still gives the best hugs in the world!
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  #28   ^
Old Mon, Oct-20-14, 11:00
jaywood jaywood is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 513
 
Plan: the FightDoctors plan
Stats: 215/171/165 Male 177 cm
BF:
Progress: 88%
Location: Scotland
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Other peoples opinions generally speaking suck.

After I lost the first 20lbs the only coments I got were that I looked unhealthy and malnourished!! Yea cheers guys that makes this whole thing worthwhile.

The daft thing was that after not loosing a great deal more, those same people did notice 4 months later that I had lost a lot of weight.

People pick up on the strangest things, and relying on opinions never works.

People will notice, they will continue to notice, and as you make this just the way you are, people will once again stop noticing. But all the while you should be feeling great about yourself, as YOU are improving the whole time
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  #29   ^
Old Mon, Feb-09-15, 04:42
Lbangle's Avatar
Lbangle Lbangle is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 74
 
Plan: Atkins/Duke diet
Stats: 265/244/150 Female 5'4"
BF:
Progress: 18%
Location: TN
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Leelanau, What you are experiencing is pretty normal. I have lost about 43 pounds in the past year, and hardly any one has said anything. Only recently have I had a couple of comments....from my 90 year old mother, who said I seemed to have lost a little weight, to a coworker who said my clothes were getting baggy on me. What seems like an enormous loss to me apparently does not have the same effect on others. I remember feeling really dejected at Thanksgiving when all my family gathered and NO ONE said a word about my 40 pound loss.

I realize I have another 50 pounds or more to go so I'm still heavy, but no one is going to be my cheerleader and notice each little drop.

So ignore them and lose it for yourself. You know you look better,smaller and healthier......keep it up.
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  #30   ^
Old Sat, Apr-16-16, 21:05
love4 love4 is offline
New Member
Posts: 1
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 216/216/150 Female 5'4"
BF:
Progress:
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I do not think your expectations were high at all. As someone who doesn't know you it is very easy for me to be objective. I have no reason to lie about my observation. You said you were in a sea of athletic, beautiful, energetic people. And I think that is your answer right there. These athletic, beautiful energetic people were focused on #1, THEMSELVES. It's not that they didn't notice you as much as they did not notice anyone. They were too busy thinking about if they were being noticed.

I lost 90 lbs once (gained much back). At the point where I had lost the 90 lbs I was with my father for a brief amount of time. It wasn't until I was leaving that he said "You look like you lost weight". I had lost 90 lbs! I had been 273 and lost 90 lbs. So clearly I looked different. He didn't notice a 90 lb loss. It took him walking behind me as I was heading towards the door.

I think you sound like a beautiful person. The way you had your make up on and did your hair. I think you sounded beautiful in your pretty dress. The one's who were busy thinking about themselves weren't ignoring you. They were paying attention to what people were thinking about THEM.

I am so sorry your feelings were hugely hurt. And it is very understandable.
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