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  #1   ^
Old Sun, Aug-24-14, 10:23
leelanau leelanau is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 433
 
Plan: Ketogenic
Stats: 288/224.8/180 Female 66 in
BF:
Progress: 59%
Location: MI
Default Even after over 25 pound loss... I still look the same?

I have been pleased for months at my slowly shrinking self. As I only lose 3 pounds a month at my best, a turtle, every pound seems hard fought, and I've been eating VLC since the beginning of the year. Whole foods, lots of protein and greens, and adding fats recently. I WAS pretty pleased... until yesterday.

Went to a family wedding yesterday - in a dress. First time in 18 years I'm appeared at a function in a dress. I was proud of the fact my first dress was too large, and I had to buy another for this special event. I was prepared to surprise people with not only my losses, but the fact I was actually out of jeans.

My anticipation hit rock bottom with a dull thud very soon. I was the same old, same old. Invisible. Sitting there with my hair freshly curled, makeup on for the first time in about 5 years, sexy new shoes, and a dress.... and no one even noticed.

I admit, I'm one of few larger people in a sea of athletic, beautiful, energetic people. But seriously... not one person! Not my mother who claims to notice everything about me. Not my fitness fanatical fitness trainer sister who is constantly bugging me about I need to lose weight to be healthy. Not the aunts and uncles who haven't seen me in years, and the last time I was much larger. Not one comment. Positive or negative.

I am sitting here crushed. I'm not doing this for them. I am enjoying the feeling of being able to move freely, my flexibility returning, my energy more than it has been in years. My hubby is noticing the losses, even though he refuses to tell me where he sees it because he claims he doesn't want to hurt my feelings. My daughter has been awesome by making me VLC meals that are beautiful as well as very tasty. My son... well, he has decided to lose some to, and I'd like to think that is because of my example. He looks great, and people are noticing his losses.

As far as people commenting... my mom asked me why I didn't cut my long hair when I started going white. Its down to my rump now, and I have no immediate plans to hack it off. Thanks mom... not only did you not notice a significant weight loss, you think my hair looks bad after I spent hours getting ready today.

I think my expectations were a little high, but I was hoping for just ONE positive comment. One.

Do I really not look any different? I've been struggling with the new wrinkles, saggy skin and psoriasis that is peeling my whole body in a variety of ways, but I really thought I looked different. Maybe me making a concerted effort to reinforce my losses by taking a good hard look at myself every few days has formed an unrealistic picture.

I have to say this morning, I feel like eating anything I chose, and my first thoughts were toast with jelly and mashed potatoes at dinner. So far, I'm fighting it.
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  #2   ^
Old Sun, Aug-24-14, 10:30
jessdamess's Avatar
jessdamess jessdamess is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 3,162
 
Plan: LCHF, 100g
Stats: 252/160/150 Female 69.5 inches
BF:
Progress: 90%
Location: Northeast TN
Default

I haven't gotten any either. I've taken pics. Even self-hating ME can see the difference! Your family, like mine, is just too busy being absorbed in themselves. If your spouse has complimented you and YOU see the difference, forget thoughtless people. You are doing great. Keep going! You said you aren't doing it for them. So forget about it. They'll notice eventually. Or maybe they'll still be busy being critical about nonsense. You know how your journey is going and that is all that matters.
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  #3   ^
Old Sun, Aug-24-14, 10:40
Sereen Sereen is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,632
 
Plan: Zero
Stats: 95/95/95 Female 50
BF:0
Progress: 36%
Default

There have been a few threads along these lines.
I think some people had said they thought people were ignoring them because they just didn't want to engage. It's like some people think not saying anything is better than potentially saying something wrong. One would think they could give a compliment without somehow being hurtful, but there are many who don't seem to have that skill or tact.
Keep on doing what you know is right and you'll get there. When they think it's 'safe' to make a comment, they will.
Hang in there!!!
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  #4   ^
Old Sun, Aug-24-14, 11:02
Nancy LC's Avatar
Nancy LC Nancy LC is offline
Experimenter
Posts: 45,189
 
Plan: Paleo 99.5%
Stats: 210/170/160 Female 67.5"
BF:
Progress: 80%
Location: San Diego, CA
Default

There are lots of reasons why. Sometimes when I haven't seen someone in many years I can't remember what size they were the last time I saw them.

The wedding is also about the pair getting married, so everyone was looking at them.

Anyway, look internally for your reasons why to lose weight and you'll never be disappointed!
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  #5   ^
Old Sun, Aug-24-14, 11:28
Verbena Verbena is online now
Senior Member
Posts: 679
 
Plan: My own
Stats: 186/158/150 Female 5'4"
BF:
Progress: 78%
Location: SW PNW
Default

Could be, as mentioned, that people weren't sure what to say, or weren't sure what the reason for the weight loss was. "You look fantastic!" isn't so good when one has just had a serious, debilitating illness LOL, and if they haven't seen you for awhile they mightn't know your health history.
As one who cut her rump length hair a couple of years ago may I encourage you to NOT let anyone talk you into cutting yours if you have any doubt about the results? I like the shorter length well enough, but not as much as I liked it long, and am letting it grow again. At my age though I am not sure how successful that will be. (Down to almost mid-back now, so there is hope)
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  #6   ^
Old Sun, Aug-24-14, 12:31
Bonnie OFS Bonnie OFS is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,987
 
Plan: Dr. Bernstein
Stats: 188/160/135 Female 5 ft 4 inches
BF:
Progress: 53%
Location: NE WA
Default

I went to a family reunion this summer and apparently only one person - my sister - noticed my weight loss. At least she was the only one who complimented me. I had been steeling myself for negative comments from certain other family members, but thankfully, that didn't happen. Tho there was some family sorrow that put a pall over the visit - my oldest aunt had gone into the hospital the day before the family picnic and we all knew she was dying. Then a few weeks later everyone was looking at my daughter & her new husband, so I didn't expect anyone to notice me.
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  #7   ^
Old Sun, Aug-24-14, 13:37
Matlock's Avatar
Matlock Matlock is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 579
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 390/231/200 Male 5'10''
BF:
Progress: 84%
Default

I think the first 25 pounds are much harder to see than the last 25. At first you're just getting smaller, it's not until you approach your goal weight that your shape starts to change.

Very few people noticed my losses until I reached 100 pounds. Then it got a little embarrassing, with the "gosh is that really you?" comments. I'm curious to see what happens after the next 50 lbs, maybe I'll be able to assume a whole new identity without leaving town.
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  #8   ^
Old Sun, Aug-24-14, 14:57
Kristine's Avatar
Kristine Kristine is offline
Forum Moderator
Posts: 17,967
 
Plan: Primal
Stats: 165/149/145 Female 5'7"
BF:
Progress: 80%
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Default

Leelanau, I hope I'm not sounding harsh here, but I agree with you when you said you probably set your expectations too high.

It was someone else's wedding; the bride, groom and wedding party are the center of attention.

My relatives, who I rarely see in person, go up and down on the scale all the time. It's not my place to comment on it. Like Verbena said, weight loss could be for an unfortunate reason. Or, someone's weight gain could have been because of taking birth control pills or anti-depressants or something like that. Let's say they stopped taking them and the weight comes off. So wouldn't it embarrass someone to ask about their weigh loss in that case?

I refuse to comment on anyone's weight loss unless they initiate the conversation. If you want comments, it's up to you to go fishing. Once someone brings up their specific weight loss efforts, I'll go ahead and congratulate them on it and tell them that I can see a difference. Not before.

Much continued success to you, and keep on doing it strictly FOR YOU.
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  #9   ^
Old Sun, Aug-24-14, 16:44
Maori's Avatar
Maori Maori is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 782
 
Plan: DANDR 2002
Stats: 432/180/200 Male 5 ft 11 inches
BF:
Progress: 109%
Location: Tucson, AZ
Default

They will come as you continue with your WOE. Wife and myself noticed subtle changes around 30lbs like going down a belt notch. It was around 90lbs that comments started coming in (office, mass) which even now i feel uncomfortable but remain polite in my responses.

As you said you are doing it for yourself and you are physically feeling the benefits of your current loss which what matters. BTW - Congrats on your progress...

Last edited by Maori : Sun, Aug-24-14 at 18:03.
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  #10   ^
Old Sun, Aug-24-14, 17:58
Just Jo's Avatar
Just Jo Just Jo is offline
A'72 Lifer Hard Core
Posts: 13,314
 
Plan: A'72 Induction Lifer + IF
Stats: 265/114/130 Female 5'4"
BF:Not so much now!
Progress: 112%
Location: South Central New Mexico
Default

I feel your pain, leelanu. But I agree with everything everyone posted before. I don't think it had anything to do about you, it was the event, etc.

Seriously, does it really matter what they say or don't say? This is all about you and your good decision to make yourself healthier, happier, thinner and have more self-esteem... am I right? Just keep doing what you're doing and you'll see the results cause you're doing this for YOU not them... it won't stick if you're not doing this for YOU. This is one of the few selfish things we can do for ourselves... no one else can.

Wishing you continued success on your LC WOE journey!
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  #11   ^
Old Sun, Aug-24-14, 20:09
khrussva's Avatar
khrussva khrussva is offline
Posts: 5,616
 
Plan: My own - < 30 net carbs
Stats: 440/210/210 Male 5' 11"
BF:Energy Unleashed
Progress: 100%
Location: Central Virginia - USA
Default

Nobody at work mentioned anything about my weight loss during my first 50 pounds of loss. I went from really, really, really, really fat to just really, really, really fat. So I'm not too surprised nobody noticed the progress I was making. Now that I'm at near 100 pounds gone, people I have not previously told are noticing and I am getting lots of questions. I am, however, still really, really fat. The next 50 pounds off will probably show more than the first 100 did.
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  #12   ^
Old Tue, Aug-26-14, 15:37
Bonnie OFS Bonnie OFS is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,987
 
Plan: Dr. Bernstein
Stats: 188/160/135 Female 5 ft 4 inches
BF:
Progress: 53%
Location: NE WA
Default

Last week I saw an acquaintance I haven't seen in a while & he looked like he'd lost weight. But I wasn't really sure since I don't see him all the time. He might have looked better because he shaved off his mustache. So I didn't say anything.

Tho if I weren't an old married lady, I might have been tempted to say something along the lines of, Wow! You're really looking hot!
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  #13   ^
Old Tue, Aug-26-14, 16:44
slmrickman's Avatar
slmrickman slmrickman is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,204
 
Plan: atkins
Stats: 447/190/230 Male 6
BF:
Progress: 118%
Location: Las Vegas
Default

don't let that bother you...People didn't start noticing my loss till close to 100 pounds..
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  #14   ^
Old Wed, Aug-27-14, 09:31
leelanau leelanau is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 433
 
Plan: Ketogenic
Stats: 288/224.8/180 Female 66 in
BF:
Progress: 59%
Location: MI
Default

I've decided to just ignore the whole episode. I was hoping someone would see the effort I was making for a change, but life immediately got busy on Monday morning, so I don't have time to worry about it.

My sixteen year old baby girl started college... that is something to worry about. As she should have been attending drivers ed during our move across country, and she chose to wait, I'm now the chauffer for her first semester - as well as the homeschooling mama making sure I get the checkmarks off the list for her last few semesters. Having her start college, and spending hours teaching her to drive, is about all the stress I can take right now.

Oh, did I mention I'm trying to finish painting a 5000 sq foot home before the snow flies with a paintbrush? LOL As its been raining way too much, I'm not sure that is going to happen. In between bouts of sunshine and filling my canning jars full of fresh, chemical free produce, I have about all I can handle right now.

Seriously... not sure why it bothered me so much anyway, except that I was trying NOT to be invisible, and it didn't seem to work. I figure now, why spend all that time and money? Save myself the hassle in the future. If no one else cares, why should I?
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  #15   ^
Old Wed, Aug-27-14, 09:51
khrussva's Avatar
khrussva khrussva is offline
Posts: 5,616
 
Plan: My own - < 30 net carbs
Stats: 440/210/210 Male 5' 11"
BF:Energy Unleashed
Progress: 100%
Location: Central Virginia - USA
Default

When you get a little further along in your journey, I'm sure people will start to notice and they will bring it up in conversation. As I said before, there was hardly a word said until I got past 75 pounds lost. Now that I'm over 100 pounds lost, it seems to be the only thing anyone ever talks about. It is one thing to get complements, but I am getting a little weary of answering the "How are you doing it?" question. Most people don't like the answer I give them. Giving up bread and sugar does not compute.
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