I am sure someone out here has started a thread like this before...

Anyway, I need to share some of the heartaches I suffered from being a fat kid. I am 43 years old and there are some memories that still bother me. I realized that one of the reasons it hurts so bad is because I was set apart, I was not included in the group, I was on the outside so badly wanting to be "one" of the girls/guys or whatever. I have a 6 year old daughter and see how innocent and fragile she is. I just can't understand why kids are so cruel to each other at times.

Anyway - Here is one of my stories (probably the most painful). I figure it's is healthy to share. And welcome anyone else who would like to share their childhood memories/scars.

In elementary school we had the pledge of allegiance every morning and sang America the Beautiful. The lyrics start with "O beautiful for spacious skies, For amber waves of grain"..but some kids decided to change it to "For amber weighs a ton" and sang it very loudly in front of the entire school. I wanted to cry, die, hide, hurt and felt just about every other emotion in the world when that happened. I still cry when I think about it.

Hugs for you, Blackstone.

It is very sad when an innocent child is ridiculed. That doesn't reflect very well on the human race, does it?

Hi Pollyanna - No, it does not. But I know that I've been a part of that pack mentality from time to time. But I think my parents did a good job raising me, as anytime I have been a part of that, I have always felt ashamed of myself. Therefore, it happened only seldomly but I am not an angel. I certainly did my share of not so nice things.

I was walking along the side of the road, as a teenager, when a group of boys the same age cruised by very slowly, just to yell about how ugly and disgusting I was.

I just ignored it, but how it burned!

I try to remember that anyone who feels so badly about themselves they have to tear down a complete stranger; has a lot BIGGER problems than me

It's a shame that as children we don't get the concept that when people ridicule us it is more about them than us.

I remember sitting in class ... in class and the boys at my table singing "fatty fatty four by four, can't fit through the kitchen [classroom] door". That was just the least of it. That was in 5th grade. It didn't end there - continued through high school to some degree and it certainly started in K or 1st grades.

Unfortunately, my dad was constantly on me about me weight and I was ALWAYS on a diet or some sort. And I played outside and played sports.

Funny thing - I also remember the doctor and his staff being ABSOLUTELY SHOCKED that I weighed enough to qualify as obese (even morbidly obese) because, in their words, I never looked overweight. And yes, I was told I obese from 3rd grade on.

I look back at pics from those years - I wasn't obese-looking. I looked HEALTHY.

Wow Blackstone - I can only imagine what that would feel like

I cant even stand hearing stories like that, it honestly just makes me angry.

Oh my gosh Ladies...Big cyber hugs to you! I wish there were a "delete memory" function sometimes.

Cuse - Thanks for your comments. In retrospect it makes me angry too. My goal is to raise my daughter to be compassionate and kind to all of God's creatures.

I commiserate with what you have gone through. With the pressures and bullying that our sons and daughters would have to put up with, it is important that, as parents, we are always by their side and assure them of our support and understanding. Indeed, beyond the humiliation that they are suffering when they are ridiculed and humiliated by their peers, one thing that we have to be concerned with is the long term effect of such experiences.

I couldn't agree with you more. It's so important!! Bullying seems to be so much more brutal now. More important than ever.

I was a chubby kid... but I never dealt with bullying for it; mostly because my parents raised me to have the confidence to stand up for myself and not be ashamed. Plus, I was kind of sassy. I always said "I can drop the weight, but you can't change the fact that you're ugly/stupid/-insert hurtful comment here-"

Also, I had a mean right hook for anyone that I caught bullying someone. My principal called it "The best darn punch he'd ever seen thrown" because I broke some kid's nose after he pushed me and his niece off the jungle gym... That's the one thing I have to give to private schools run by a Baptist church; they certainly do allow children to stand up for themselves.

In public school, if you're defending yourself, getting the snot kicked out of you, or just trying to break it up. If you're "involved" in any sort of fight at all you're punished. Doesn't matter whether you're doing the right thing or had no choice in the matter. That's part of the problem with how bad bullying is these days. Their taught not to defend themselves; go run and tell a teacher who CAN'T do anything about you getting picked on; and even if they could they probably wouldn't.

It's ridiculous. The kids that get bullied can't win for losing, and that's why a lot of decent and smart kids drop out of high school. The environment is toxic.

I was an Honors and A.P. student and I dropped out because I kept being sent to administration for standing up for myself and others, even non-violently. I broke up two girls clawing at each other's faces, I got the same ISS as them, even though I probably kept one of them from winding up in the hospital because there were no nearby teachers to stop it. I got sent to the office for getting into a kids face who kept propositioning one of my shyer friends and was given detention. It's the system, it's broke. You get penalized for doing the right thing, for standing up for what's moral and right, and for not letting yourself or others get pushed around by someone who takes out all their insecurities on people they view as easy targets.

If standing up for yourself and those around you, as opposed to taking the abuse or turning a blind eye wasn't demonized in school, then bullying wouldn't be so bad.

Sorry about my tirade... I've just seen so much of the bullying, and the abuse that kids face in school and the way that these VICTIMS are treated has always been something that gets me super fired up.

wemaybemad - I totally get it. And you are so right. You should be able to stand up for others. Our daughter is 6 and a black belt. We want her to be confident and able to defend herself and others. She will also be attending a private Christian school. But they have their issues but I know the administrator is very passionate about bullying. But still teachers aren't always around.

wemaybemad- i get that.i did that.but even when i thought i was tougher n smarter nd worth more, i witnessed that i cant successfully hold a relation together..anyone. im either too cold n aloof..or too trusting n dependent. i realised that something i thought dint brush me, left serious self esteem issues in me..not to mention i cant trust what people think about me..and somehow it started mattering that my bf thinks im hot first more than any of the wonderful things i could be..
it drives him nuts.plus being a hurtful person himself,he did nothing to make me feel better..
i never felt hurt at schools with the mean songs n tricks.but i do now for how it screwed me up!

I not only had to go through the ridicule at school, but, I was being molested by a family member when I was 8. I would go to school and get that abuse and then come home and go through a whole new hell. I do realize at my age now (52) that all the abuse I was going through only added to my weight problem. Kids are very cruel. And what is even crueler is being molested and too afraid to say anything about it. I was never able to tell my mom until I was in my 20s. EVERYTHING that happened to all of overweight people when we were in out formative years has contributed in some way to our weight problem. To this day, I still have issues. But, I thank God I found a husband when I was 28 that accepted me for who I was. He saw me for me. Not me as a 365 pound person. He could and can always see my heart.

My ex-husband did this to me one day. I cried and cried over it. It hurt so deeply. I was 140 lbs then. Exactly why the marriage failed. A real jerk!

donna

Oh man, everyone's story makes me sad. I've had such incidents in my life too. I really try not to bring them out of the shadows to think about them. It isn't productive and never really resolves anything.

What is productive is moving forward. Taking care of the present and doing what I can about the future.

Leave your behind in the past. Err... leave your past behind you. That's better! Seriously, don't dredge it up.