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  #1   ^
Old Tue, Feb-09-10, 13:19
msmum1977's Avatar
msmum1977 msmum1977 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,172
 
Plan: VLC/Carnivore
Stats: 369/301/299 Female 5'9"
BF:too much.
Progress: 97%
Location: Eastern Ontario, Canada
Default old habits certainly do die hard

So I've been on the lc lifestyle for over a year now. I've lost over 70 lbs. But today really tested my commitment and strength and I really thought I was going to cave.

I can literally count on one hand the number of times I've cheated. For some reason, though, today I really wanted a fast food meal. Complete with salty fries, double cheeseburger (with the bun) and soda. Here's my internal dialogue:

Devil (right shoulder): Boy that double cheese sure sounds good.
Angel (left shoulder): Don't do it. You'll regret it.
Devil: Come on, you're craving it. No one needs to know.
ANgel: But the gluten in the bun! Your knee will be unbendable for days! That gluten is poison!
Devil: Who cares? Eat just the meat and 1/2 a bun...it's not too bad. How about large fries with ketchup?? No gluten there!
Angel: MMMM Ketchup.

It's at this point I'm already planning how to conceal this purchase from my husband who has been a great support and whom I hate to dissappoint. I find myself online and moving the cash from our joint account to my savings (of which he doesn't see the statement) to pay for this meal. I'm anticipating it...leg be damned! Then, my jacket in on and I'm moving out the door.

As I get in my van, I sit for a second, and say to myself, 'just go to the grocery store first...then the drive thru later.

And I do! While there I pick up some pepperoni sticks and enjoy the salty yummy flavour. They start to fill the hole in my tummy/mind. I pick up some nuts and few other sundries and then stop at the drugstore quick. By the time that was finished, I had to head back to work, b/c my lunch hour was up.

No, I did NOT have that combo. But boy, I sure wanted it. I still want it, but not so badly. But I made it through without the binge.

Moral of the story...old habits do die hard. And they're waiting right there on the back burner to take you down. I'm not sure why I'm surprised that after a year I still have these old behaviours ingrained in me...and I'm still almost succumbing to them. When will this urge pass?

Food really is an addiction for me.
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  #2   ^
Old Tue, Feb-09-10, 13:23
ValerieL's Avatar
ValerieL ValerieL is offline
Bouncy!
Posts: 9,388
 
Plan: Atkins Maintenance
Stats: 297/173.3/150 Female 5'7" (top weight 340)
BF:41%/31%/??%
Progress: 84%
Location: Burlington, ON
Default

It may take a very long time for it to pass. Or it may never completely pass. But look at the difference between now and when you started a year ago. You had to talk yourself out of eating off plan today, but did you have to do it yesterday? The day before? For the most part it's second nature now, right? When you started, you were probably having that conversation 5 times a day.

It gets better with time, but those old habits are strong and will occasionally flare up. Each time you battle them and win, you get a little stronger. It sounds like you did great today!
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  #3   ^
Old Tue, Feb-09-10, 13:55
bike2work bike2work is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 4,536
 
Plan: Fung-inspired fasting
Stats: 336/000/160 Female 5' 9"
BF:
Progress: 191%
Location: Seattle metro area
Default

Another possibility is that some food you're eating is causing you cravings. Have you tried giving up nuts and cheese? Artificial sweetener? If you pare your diet down to only:

- meat and veggies
- poultry and veggies
- fish and veggies
- eggs

you might find that all your cravings mysteriously go away. That's what happened to me.
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  #4   ^
Old Tue, Feb-09-10, 14:33
msmum1977's Avatar
msmum1977 msmum1977 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,172
 
Plan: VLC/Carnivore
Stats: 369/301/299 Female 5'9"
BF:too much.
Progress: 97%
Location: Eastern Ontario, Canada
Default

well not completely. I'm pretty conscious of sweeteners (>1 per day and don't drink diet soda or anything) and I had nuts this aft for the first time in at least two weeks.

Cheese is a lot harder for me though ...I love it! However, I weigh every single piece so that I'm not going over an oz or two per day...even cream I'm pretty meticulous about measuring.

*sigh* I mean I was doing so great, and then whammo! Right out of nowhere I get this superhunger. Not even in the belly, but in the mind, ya know?

I didn't eat anything out of the ordinary that I hadn't been eating for the six months prior with no cravings which I why I think carb addiction is soo sneaky.
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  #5   ^
Old Tue, Feb-09-10, 14:56
Anyca's Avatar
Anyca Anyca is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 462
 
Plan: Low Carb
Stats: 330/235/219 Female 5'3
BF:ugh!
Progress: 86%
Location: Mary'sLand
Default

If you look at it from the point of really being an addict..
an addict is always an addict.
we earn our clean days.
it's a daily.. constant struggle.
we will have days where we fly through smoothly..
and others where you have to fight yourself to stay on track..
most of my struggles aren't even from hunger
it's all in my mind..
I'll be completely satisfied with the meal i just had
and bam.. I'll want something starchy crunchy carby..
funny thing -
I wanted some fries the other day SO bad.. I could actually taste them.. I could smell em.. could taste how hot they were.. the salt..the pepper... even the mayo i would dip them in - it had nothing to do with something else causing this craving.. It was all mental for me... mentally, I wanted that high (talk about an addict!)
but thankfully, I beat that urge.. (partly because I've been snowed in! lol)

Just keep up the amazing work you have been doing - and remember the blood, sweat, tears, bruises and scars you've gotten to get to your amazing 70 lbs loss (good for you!)

Even if you find yourself already purchasing that meal and you are about to take that bite.. remember, like an addict..
the high isn't worth the rock bottom low feeling you will experience as a result. It's never worth it.

Here's to another day of being 'clean' !
:-)
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  #6   ^
Old Tue, Feb-09-10, 21:13
Charran's Avatar
Charran Charran is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 9,446
 
Plan: my own
Stats: 253/176.0/153 Female 5 feet 7 inches
BF:
Progress: 77%
Default

I've been at this for a very long time and there are still those times when I slip up. I feel like I have to be constantly vigilant, although, I must admit that it has gotten easier over time to battle those inner demons.

Keep up the great work. You did fantastic!
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  #7   ^
Old Tue, Feb-09-10, 21:33
Judynyc's Avatar
Judynyc Judynyc is offline
Attitude is a Choice
Posts: 30,111
 
Plan: No sugar, flour, wheat
Stats: 228.4/209.0/170 Female 5'6"
BF:stl/too/mch
Progress: 33%
Location: NYC
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by msmum1977
well not completely. I'm pretty conscious of sweeteners (>1 per day and don't drink diet soda or anything) and I had nuts this aft for the first time in at least two weeks.

Cheese is a lot harder for me though ...I love it! However, I weigh every single piece so that I'm not going over an oz or two per day...even cream I'm pretty meticulous about measuring.

*sigh* I mean I was doing so great, and then whammo! Right out of nowhere I get this superhunger. Not even in the belly, but in the mind, ya know?

I didn't eat anything out of the ordinary that I hadn't been eating for the six months prior with no cravings which I why I think carb addiction is soo sneaky.

I too, think that you did great today!!
You won this battle and it will make you stronger.....and it is a war and we do need to pick our battles.
I still have those battles and do win most of them.....one thing that I do when it starts in my head, is that I force myself to think about all the foods that I can have....and not allow my mind to dwell in the foods that I no longer eat.
One more thing....old bad habits don't die...we replace them with new good ones.

Keep up all your hard work!
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  #8   ^
Old Wed, Feb-10-10, 13:17
msmum1977's Avatar
msmum1977 msmum1977 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,172
 
Plan: VLC/Carnivore
Stats: 369/301/299 Female 5'9"
BF:too much.
Progress: 97%
Location: Eastern Ontario, Canada
Default

thanks everyone. I actually thought about it and *i think* I know what may have physiologically triggered this craving.

Normally I eat 3 eggs every morning for brekkie. Without fail. Sometimes with different sides (bacon, ham, sausage) or in an omelette with cheese, etc.

On Monday, I was out..I had purposely left a couple for me, but hubby ate them thinking we had another dozen. We didn't. It was probably the first morning I hadn't eaten eggs in ...a couple of months.

I'm thinking that lack of protein made Tuesday deficient and made me physically a little more vulnerable to carb cravings.

On a brighter note, I did feel much better for resisting it and had a lovely italian sausage & veggie bake for dinner. And I feel great today!

thanks for the support...it's nice to hear other veteran lowcarbers say they're still struggling sometimes too.
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  #9   ^
Old Wed, Feb-10-10, 13:36
Judynyc's Avatar
Judynyc Judynyc is offline
Attitude is a Choice
Posts: 30,111
 
Plan: No sugar, flour, wheat
Stats: 228.4/209.0/170 Female 5'6"
BF:stl/too/mch
Progress: 33%
Location: NYC
Default

Good that you see that it was the missing your usual brekkie that set you off....and IMO, its not only the protein that your body missed as its also the fat in the eggs have that us feeling nice and full( and not hungry) for many hours after.

Good for your on your sausage and veggie bake for dinner!
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  #10   ^
Old Sun, Feb-21-10, 13:27
kathleen24 kathleen24 is offline
Monday came.
Posts: 4,418
 
Plan: my own
Stats: 275/228.6/155 Female 5'4"
BF:ummm . . . ?
Progress: 39%
Default

A few weeks ago a friend who knows that I like Lindt 85% bars left a Lindt dark chocolate mint bar on my desk as a surprise. It's got significantly more sugar in it than my usual, and it's not something I would buy for myself. But it was just.sitting.there--not like I sought it out--and I've lost a lot of weight--and it's all good--and I'll just eat a little each day--and yeah.

Bam.

They aren't gone, only sleeping, those voices. Those lying, stinkin', sneaky little voices. And I believed them. And even though I didn't go far off plan, I was out of my safe I-eat-that-I-don't-eat-that-zone. I wasn't face down in the carbs, but I ate some gluten-free, low-ish-carb crackers I don't usually eat, chicken soup w/rice, etc., and lots of LC chocolate and nuts. Yellow-alert zone.

So this is me, with my weight back down today, after taking a 6 pound meander back up into the dark side. Trust me, it wasn't worth it. Not only did that extra weight make me feel fat and unworthy of my best efforts, I also located the nexus of craving in my brain. Stomach was fed, but there's a physical feeling of craving that was humming right in the center back of my brain (yeah, I know, but anyway) and it buzzed baaaaad . . . I'd be fine in the morning until I ate for the first time, but then once I'd eaten anything--even VLC--the craving was on for the rest of the day.

Here's what I've learned: the voices aren't me. The crave isn't me. They are dangerous, but not unfightable.

And also: my biochemistry is very, very touchy. If I am mindful, I can thrive. And that makes me lucky--lots of folks suffer with health problems that aren't so easy to cope with. But this is still very, very real. My mantra in similar circumstances: be alert, be aware, pay attention.

Eye-opening.

No, it's not just about the weight loss, it's about getting the carb addiction under control.

To maybe address your question:
I quit smoking many years ago. After like a gazillion tries. Took about two-three months for the on-my-knees-in-the-gutter cravings to pass, two years for the occasional hmm-that-might-be-nice-to-have-one feeling to pass, but for about another eight(!) years, maybe every 2-3 years, I'd get a WT?-where-did-*that*-come-from? passing notion, before slapping back down into yuck-that's-gross default mode.

At this point, I think about the way most carb addicts eat and i find it very unappealing--easy to reject 99.9% of the time. These last few weeks have taught me that I became obese for a *reason*--because I fight a very tough addiction. In a way, it gives me a sense of peace, a more forgiving, understanding way of seeing myself. And greater caution. Thin(ner) isn't cured. Looking forward to getting to goal weight because I think it will give me a more structured sense of where I want to keep my weight, and what I'll need to do to get there. We shall see . . .

Last edited by kathleen24 : Sun, Feb-21-10 at 13:38.
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  #11   ^
Old Fri, Mar-05-10, 17:24
FatFreeMe FatFreeMe is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 5,689
 
Plan: LCHF
Stats: 262.2/247.2/204 Female 5ft 1/2 inch
BF:
Progress: 26%
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
Default

As I was reading this I was comparing how you are feeling to how I felt when I quit smoking, nine years ago. You know something, every once in awhile, especially if I get a whiff of a cigarette, I think I'd really really like to have a drag off one.
Still on occasion, Ihave to fight that urge. I'm sure losing weight and sticking with LC will be no different.
I'm not surprised Kathleen beat me to the punch.
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  #12   ^
Old Wed, Mar-10-10, 07:15
saucywench's Avatar
saucywench saucywench is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 401
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 350/305/150 Female 5'7"
BF:Wow way to much!
Progress: 23%
Location: Ohio
Default

I have to say that I too can see that there is always a trigger out there waiting for you..laying in ambush to try to take you away from your WOE...Yesterday my husband went out of town on business and I struggled all day with wanting to eat off plan (there was a nagging voice in my head saying Oh come on, no one will know about it) I even have to admit I smelled a cookie that I had made for my son this weekend..How silly is that..smelling it like it was a rose..contemplating eating it? I can laugh now but at the time it was a real struggle.

Before I recommitted to the WOE when he would travel was when I would be able to fully unleash my eating demons..I would make a special trip to the store for all my carbs of choice and I would merrily eat a whole box of cookies and whatever else my out of control carb addiction made me shove in my mouth because my kid certainly didnt notice if I ate junk and what ten year old is going to tell that " We ate fast food every night you were gone dad and mom ate two super value meals" etc

But I did identify the trigger and I simply took myself away from the situation...I took a large glass of water to my office and did some work on the computer that had to be done until the crave went away and go away it did as soon as I acknowledged it and derailed it..it took about 1/2 an hour for me to full end it but I did by the afternoon.

So the moral of the story is I see that I can not be complacent!! And I must always be prepared and If I am then I can turn the trigger off! I am hoping that since I identified this trigger and found a way to calm it then in the future it wont rear its ugly head again.
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  #13   ^
Old Wed, Mar-10-10, 08:45
AnniMin AnniMin is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 296
 
Plan: Low carb Paleo
Stats: 294/292/175 Female 5'9"
BF:
Progress: 2%
Location: Minnesota
Default

Oh trust me, Saucy, it WILL rear its ugly head again!! It always does.

I am embarrassed as I read these stories of how you all overcame your temptations because I so easily give in to mine.

Its not that I pig out on sugary stuff.... its those darn books by the heart doctors who say 'no animal products and no oil if you want to fight heart disease'. I go along on my low carb diet feeling great and then I get scared that all this meat and fat will clog my arteries. So I start eating rice and potatoes and oatmeal and fruit and veggies... like those guys say we're supposed to do.

What happens? I gain back every ounce I just lost, my stomach feels bloated, I get low abdominal pain, my IBS comes back with a vengence, I get tired, weepy, lazy and FAT.

I know there is truth to what those doctors say and for many people eating that way does prevent and reverse heart disease, but I have another disease I need to prevent and that's the disease of obesity. And I can't do it by following those recommendations. The only way I can lose weight is by cutting out the carbs. The only way I can control my IBS is by cutting out the carbs. The only way I can get a grip on my emotions is by cutting out the carbs. I have no choice in the matter, this is how my body works and all the whole grains in the world isn't going to change that fact.

So I'm back on board, weighing exactly what I did months ago, feeling discouraged and determined at the same time.

But back to the subject at hand... one thing I find particularly difficult is being with someone who encourages me to eat something I shouldn't. I used to give in, I didn't want to make a fuss or seem like I was neurotic about food (I am) or draw attention to myself so I'd just go with the flow. Now when someone does that it kind of makes me mad. I've always been this agreeable, nice, introverted, people pleasing person but now I feel this anger just seething right below the surface. It kind of scares me. Its like all the anger I stuffed down with food for 59 years is bubbling up to the surface and I don't quite know what to do with it.

Sorry. Off topic again. Just needed to reconnect and share what I've been going through. No hijack intended. Love you guys. Really.
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  #14   ^
Old Wed, Mar-10-10, 09:02
Judynyc's Avatar
Judynyc Judynyc is offline
Attitude is a Choice
Posts: 30,111
 
Plan: No sugar, flour, wheat
Stats: 228.4/209.0/170 Female 5'6"
BF:stl/too/mch
Progress: 33%
Location: NYC
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by saucywench
But I did identify the trigger and I simply took myself away from the situation...I took a large glass of water to my office and did some work on the computer that had to be done until the crave went away and go away it did as soon as I acknowledged it and derailed it..it took about 1/2 an hour for me to full end it but I did by the afternoon.

So the moral of the story is I see that I can not be complacent!! And I must always be prepared and If I am then I can turn the trigger off! I am hoping that since I identified this trigger and found a way to calm it then in the future it wont rear its ugly head again.

WOW! Good job! Its always the first time we get to do this that is the hardest one....after the first, it does get easier and easier with time as we learn to see it sooner and sooner. Thats the way it was, and still is, for me.
A total head trip, if you know what I mean. I had to train my mind to not dwell in the mindless chatter it engages in and force it to think about all the food that I can have.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnniMin
Its like all the anger I stuffed down with food for 59 years is bubbling up to the surface and I don't quite know what to do with it.

Sorry. Off topic again. Just needed to reconnect and share what I've been going through. No hijack intended. Love you guys. Really.

No need to be sorry as that was not at all off topic!!
You are fighting the good fight!
We are the same age...I started to do this when I was 54 yrs old, 6 yrs ago. Its never too late!!
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  #15   ^
Old Wed, Mar-10-10, 09:07
msmum1977's Avatar
msmum1977 msmum1977 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,172
 
Plan: VLC/Carnivore
Stats: 369/301/299 Female 5'9"
BF:too much.
Progress: 97%
Location: Eastern Ontario, Canada
Default

I agree. That craving animal always lies in wait for you. It is very much like quitting smoking...you will have to realize that although you may have quit for many years...in times of stress, heartache, happiness, and joy you may suddenly feel that urge to have smoke. I think carbs are the same. We may quit them for many years but that craving will NEVER go away. This is something I'm really struggling to accept.

Anni, it is really difficult to be around drug (oops, freudian slip, I mean food ) pushers. Always wanting you to go along with their agenda....they don't care how you feel or about your health. If you can, stay away from these kinds of people, therefore removing the temptation to 'give in' to satisfy them. If you can't avoid them (like work colleagues, or god forbid, close family members), turn your anger into something positive....like being firm in your convictions and keeping your eye on the prize.

You don't need to explain yourself to anyone. If you choose not to eat a specific food...that's your decision. If you're 59, as you mentioned, I think you qualify as an adult who can make your own choices!

Be strong ... we're all here and love ya too.
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