and I think only people who have been very overweight will understand.

I needed a new outfit for tomorrow, so I stopped by Lane Bryant really fast to find something suitable. But everything I tried on was too big. Finally they found one pair of size 14 capri pants in the back that fit, and I found a 14 shirt that worked with it.

You would think I'd be happy about this, because I've graduated back down out of specialty stores. But this really made me panic. I am not comfortable in "normal" sized stores. I'm not comfortable in fitted clothes, either. The thought of shpping in a Gap instead of Lane Bryant makes me feel queasy.

I feel like people are going to laugh at me if I pick up something to try it on, knowing full well that I don't actually belong there. What is wrong with me that I am not happy about this milestone?

Give it time, it gets easier. I had trouble when I moved from plus sized to normal sized, too. It was as much the overwhelm of too much choice in the normal size stores as anything else. I like the overlap of the plus & normal sized stores for that reason, you get to transition slowly.

And for what it's worth, people in general are way too self-absorbed to notice whether you are the right size for a clothing department anyway. They won't even notice you, let alone laugh. Besides, you *do* belong there now. What's to notice? Nothing.

I totally understand where you're coming from, as I am approaching that same point as you. I am currently in size 14, and probably sometime in the next few months, I will size out of the plus-sized stores. The reason that I have mixed emotions about this milestone is fear of the unknown. I have never shopped in "normal" sized stores as an adult. I have no idea where to go, there's suddenly so many options--it's what an old boss of mine called the burden of choice. I also grew comfortable with Lane Bryant and the steady diet of coupons they sent me--I never paid full price there. What will I do if I can't find a similar system? I think that I will gradually get used to it, but it will be a process. In the meantime, I can still continue to go to places like Ross, Marshalls, and Target, so that won't change at least.

Just remember that it is normal for us to feel strange at this juncture and it too shall pass.

--Melissa

Your height and weight are very similar to mine; I smiled reading this, because it's very similar to a thread a week or so old about me and my new jeans--and how I didn't understand why I wasn't thrilled to be fitting into 16's and having this world of choice. Instead: being *drawn* to the 22-24 rack, being overwhelmed by the sheer number of good jeans that would fit me, and feeling the urge to buy several, and hoard.

Several other people chimed in and seemed to be going or had gone through something similar. Made me feel like I was not the Lone Stranger.

Something about this size that has been (and is again proving to be) difficult. It's like the borderline between fat and passing-for-normal, as if we have to break through some invisible film or force field or something.

I have a lot more clothes that fit me now, but end up wearing just a few things again and again--feel overwhelmed by choice in my closet, let alone a store.

Well, this sounds a little morose--don't mean it that way, and don't mean to be discouraging. I think this is what passing through the looking glass, or metamorphing feels like.

Let's just get through it together, okay?

I think (hope) Val is right

I am! No one is looking at you.

The first time I went into a regular store and tried something on, I started crying in the dressing room. My DD thought it was because I was happy, but it was sadness. My comfort zone of the Plus sized stores had gone out the window. I knew where to shop. I knew where to look when I got there. A regular store was a whole new experience and I didn't like it at all. Now mind you, I can only shop for pants in a regular store. For shirts, I mostly have to go a plus sized store still. I'm not used to the variety of clothing to pick from. You'd think that would be a great thing, but it makes me panic and I feel very uncomfortable. I avoid shopping unless I really, really need something at the moment. I'm hoping one day it will change because I still feel like a fraud being in a regular department.

..you know, I've read this many times in one thread or another. In fact, I thought about it last Saturday when I was in the mall in Minot ND. It's not a very big mall, but it has a nice plus size section in JC penny and there's a cj Banks (i think it is) and I like to go to those places for clothes. I wasn't there to clothes shop that day, so I never hit either store. BUT.. as I was walking down the aisle way a thought struck me. As I was walking, I was thinking about these kinds of threads that get posted here. Now, I know I'm a long way from regular sized clothing, and lately I've been training to 'think like a thin person', sooooOOo ..maybe.. In preparation for actually shopping there, I should go peruse the goods now, before I actually have to try stuff on and actually BUY something there. I could go and familarize myself with where things are located in the store, what's available ..that sort of thing.

I had similar experiences to you also. Being that in my former life, I was a large size buyer for The Avenue, I did know that a large size 14 is way different, and much biggger, than a missy size 14 in its specs.
When I did hit a weight (approx 170-180)that forced me out of the large size depts, it was scary as I felt too, that I'd be laughed out of the regular size stores and depts.
The first time I did shop a missy dept at Lord & Taylor, I tried on a top and as I walked to a mirror, I caught a view of myself in a different mirror...and was stunned that it was me that I saw. I was truly surprised at what I saw. It fit and it looked good!!
Nobody laughed me out of there and seeing myself in that mirror was a breakthrough for me in knowing that I truly was not a large size any more.

Its quite a journey!!

Interesting.
I have been shopping in "normal" sized stores for about 8 months or so, and I still feel very very self conscious.
I have this little voice that tells me I'm too fat to be shopping and picking up things below plus sizes...and I feel like people are looking at me wondering "what is she thinking...she's too fat for this store".
I know damn well it's my twisted brain telling me lies about how I look...but it's still there..and to me it's real.
Milestones are awesome, but they are stressful as well. With each pound that we lose, we uncover another emotional issue that we buried under fat.....good stress and bad stress...they are both difficult and take some adjustment.
Be proud, you have done so well, buy yourself a pair of Gap jeans! They are worth every penny and are THE BEST fitting jeans I've ever had!

I'm still experiencing this also. Haven't lost that much weight in recent months, but my shape is changing a lot, and I'm still dropping sizes because of a new weight training routine.

But, even before that - I'd shop in the cheapest 'normal' stores possible, because anything I'd buy wouldn't fit me for too long.

I just recently worked up the courage to go into Banana Republic, Ann Taylor and so on. And yes, I was *uncomfortable*. I don't know how long this feeling will last - but what Valerie was saying gives me some hope - in the sense that it's just a matter of finding some new stores, and just a few that you like and sticking with those. Right now, it's still sort of overwhelming.

I keep making mistakes too - buying things haphazardly, when I don't yet have the basics. As in, I don't have a wardrobe. So, my next task is to go through my closet and figure out what it is that I actually need, and then go looking for it. Little by little - I'll come up with the basics. Then I can shop for the 'fun' items. Geeze - last week, I somehow ended up with a purple cardigan. I have nothing that goes with it. This won't work...lol!

I bought a really pretty dark navy jacquard pencil skirt a few months ago. Never did have anything to wear it with - and now it's too big.

My closet is filled with 'orphans' such as these.

By the way - went into The Gap myself last week too - and was pretty happy with it. They were having a huge sale, and there was a great selection of sizes. I didn't feel quite as self-conscious there as I did in the Ann Taylor store. Not sure why...but I did notice the clerk in there was really nice, friendly and helpful. This wasn't the case at Ann Taylor.

That said, when I got home from my shopping trip - I was putting stuff away, and noticed that the clothing I was wearing that day was too baggy and big on me. So maybe I looked sort of sloppy? Who knows. I definitely felt weird though in the 'regular' shops.

I'm looking forward to this awkward feeling going away, and being able to enjoy the new clothes shopping. Not sure when that'll happen, but I hope it does.

Funny you should mention it but I noticed this phenom just today, not in the regular stores but in the resale shop. I'm now too small for the large sized racks but not really ready for the smaller sizes either, especially since being a resale shop they carry a huge variety of different brands and as we all know different brands are sized differently. At least on the large sized racks I could be pretty sure that things would fit. But now I have to try everything on, even if I have my tape measure with me. I find that even that is not dependable when "recycled clothing is concerned. I hate getting into the dressing room and finding that one 16 fits and another is too tight. It's so deflating. And I hate the extra time it takes to try everything on. Oh well, maybe the rollerblading will do something positive for my waist.

Wow, that struck a chord with me. I hadn't even had that concept form in my mind, but now that you talk about it, that's a lot of what I went through. When I was overweight, my wardrobe was black pants or jeans and blouses or t-shirt tops. The blouses & t-shirts could be colourful, but the bottoms were very basic and all the same. There was no matching required. Every top worked with every bottom essentially.

Now I have slacks in different colours (even occasionally with a pattern) and do have to coordinate my wardrobe a bit better.

And I have made tons of mistakes buying clothes since losing weight. It's like having to learn this stuff all over again.

I am both excited and terrified for the time that shopping in the regular sized stores becomes possible. I even have a hard time now when I actually get to go shopping and I'd used to get 24 or 26 pants and it feels weird buying size 18's or 20's, or sometimes size 16 shirts. I was freaked out just about that. When I go shopping with my sister, I almost refuse to go in the stores with her, I feel so out of place and like I'm being watched and judged for being in there. I don't know what I'll do without Lane Bryant, obviously, I'll survive, but I already know it's going to be very strange and uncomfortable for awhile. But, I've always been jealous of people who could go to a sale or clearance rack in a normal store, or buy inexpensive bra's or actually find a sexy bra in Victoria Secret!

Vicky's Secret!!!To this day the only thing I can buy in there is lotion!!!

When the day comes that I can "buy off the rack" that will be incredible. However, my fear in the past was always, "If I buy clothes at this size, what happens when I put on the weight again?" So, I'm doing everything in my power to make sure this is it, this is the journey. I'm going to reach my goal and maintain a healthy lifestyle. It's a big challenge that will have setbacks. I think, I too, will be wary of entering JCPennys and being able to buy a pair of pants or a jacket. I think you've received a lot of good advice by those posting here. Good luck!