doesn't want me to lose anymore weight. He is not saying anything, but picking on me for having a much smaller hiney ~ ( he actually used the "boney" word), and he purposely is bringing home spicy pork tamalies knowing I LOVE them. I think it is his way of saying just "eat normal". URG

Forgot to mention, he is not helping my lack of willpowe lately. I have yet to go longer then 4 days STRAIGHT without a downfall.

Is he overweight? Maybe he's feeling insecure.

I'd talk to him without assuming I know what he's thinking. Maybe he's insecure, maybe he likes big butts, maybe he's not even aware of what he is doing or how you feel about it.

Actually yes he is. He is weighing more then he ever has. (239)

So, how does one combat this? I mean I am not where I want to be, and he and my mother both just give me a hard time (she is overweight as well). Any suggestions would be great!

You are doing so great! You must be feeling really good at your height and weight! Tell your hubby that no food tastes as good as you feel at this weight and you don't want to gain any back. I know when I'm heavier, I enjoy others around me to eat with me.

My BF is the same.
He likes that i'm smaller but won't admit it.
He says things like "whoa, theres bones where your waist was"....
I don't know that it's jealousy, but i know it takes men just as long to adjust to our weight loss as it does us.

His response to me saying "would you rather me be fat" is...."i loved you before, and i dont care how big you are"....
To that i respond: I hated myself when i was bigger, and if i get big again, i'll hate my life so much that it'll make both of us miserable.
That usually shuts him up.

Just make sure he knows that you love him and ONLY him. If he's insecure that's one message that might need to be repeated over and over.

Your WL is threatening to him because it makes him look at himself!! Don't give up but tell him that this is important to you and you want his support to get to goal.

Julie

I agree with the insecurity notion... if you get all thin and sexy, other men are going to notice you and if he's gaining weight, you aren't going to find him attractive and you are going to leave him for someone else. I tend to forget that men are just as (if not moreso) fearful of rejection as we are.

Gentle conversation may be the best course of action...

My husband likes me a little bigger, too. Some men just aren't into "skinny". He loves where I am now and has asked me not to lose anymore. I'd consider changing my goal if I were you if he is really happy with how you look now (but that's just me, my dh's opinion is one of my top priorities).

have you encouraged him to do atkins with you?

Yes, some men like larger women but... Which highlights the important thing -- he takes into account what *you* want.

My DH likes curvy women -- not large women per se but curvy women. Can you say Beyonce? But he also is more interested in whether I am healthy and happy than whether I am curvy, which is exactly why I suggest conversation without assumptions about what he is thinking. Anyone assuming my husband is insecure and speaking to him with that assumption in mind would find herself in a bad place from being dead wrong and pissing him off.

Yeah, my first husband like bigger women when he had a 30" waist and when he had a 38" waist. Taste is taste. Current hubby has a more varied palette. Luckily, I have been all things to him!!!

I wouldn't think it was insecurity, nor do I advocate doing anything just for husbands. I just think it is good to take our dh's opinions into consideration when making choices. (that doesn't mean we become doormats and lose our ability to decide for ourselves)

I bumped into this several years ago when I lost 45 lbs in college. My husband (then live in BF) along with 95% of everyone else in my life told me I was getting too skinny -- I was about 190 lbs at 5'11 height.

I came to understand that no one in my life was used to me that small. Prior to the loss the lowest weight I ever was --- including doing 3 sports a year in high school was 205 lbs.

I had to finally just have a talk with D and explain to him how he was making me feel. This go round D is very helpful (although he does eat bad things in front of me) and compliments my loss -- I will be curious what happens when I get closer to my goal.

As to everyone else, you just have to learn to deal for a while. Eventually they will come to see you as you are in your new body -- but it may take some time.