Hang in there Lorena! We're all here for you. Many of us have been through this before. In time it will become less painful, and you may meet someone new and look back and wonder what all the fuss was about. I know that there really isn't anything that anyone can say to make you truly feel better. We can't just erase hurt, it has to gradually wear away in time.
I know that when I went through it, it was all that I could think about and it was beginning to run my life. Daydreams to make myself feel better, hoping everytime the phone rang that it would be that miracle phone call and that everything was a big mistake, hoping that it was all a bad dream or a joke and that someone was going to show up to tell me the joke was on me. I was fortunate that I had a good support system around me because I really started to withdraw. My friends got (forced) me to go out and be around other people and that was the best thing that could've happened. I don't know what would've happened if I had've stayed home all the time by myself to let my mind get the better of me.
Two things that I have realized:
NO ONE is as important to me as I am. I have to love myself first. If I can't do that then I am in big trouble esteem-wise.
If someone doesn't love me for who I am and what I can achieve, then I am better off without them. It is not better to be with someone who doesn't love me, because this does a number on the self-esteem. I deserve more.
Good self-esteem is the most important thing that a person can have. It leads to positive thinking, goal setting, and better overall health.
This guy was not the only good guy out there, you just can't see beyond that right now. What you need to do right now is to focus on yourself. You need to do things for you. A new hairstyle, a new outfit, a manicure, a good workout, they are all positive things that you can do for yourself. You need to feel good about you. Love yourself first.
There are billions of people in this world, so you can't think that this one person who could not see you for the wonderful person that you are is the best of the bunch. There are guys out there that would worship your every move, and you will be free to do the same for them. True love is a two-way street, dwelling on this guy may just lead you to put him on a pedastal of sorts, and not allow you to appreciate the wonderful things that another person may be able to offer you.
Work on yourself...write down what you like about yourself, what you have achieved so far, and what you want to achieve. This may be hard at first, because you are in a very fragile state, but ask others if it helps. Keep this list with you at all times and pull it out whenever you start to feel really down. Work on those goals, and they will become a reality. Achieving something for yourself may be one of the best pick-me-ups.
You have come a long way, and I wish that the road didn't have to be so bumpy for you. Just know that it WILL get better.
Hugs!!
KC
