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  #1   ^
Old Thu, Jan-17-02, 10:46
gecolon's Avatar
gecolon gecolon is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 320
 
Plan: low carv
Stats: 324/299/180 Female 5feet 6inches
BF:47%
Progress: 17%
Location: Harrisburg, PA
Default Why did you get fat? What did being fat provide for you?

That is something that I have been asking myself. Obviously it provided something for me. My getting this fat didn't happen overnight it took years. So why did I make myself fat? Despite all the complaints about being fat it was a comfort zone for me. Now that I am loosing I am starting to get a lot of attention from guys again. I now realize I am not comfortable with the attention I get from men. Don't get me wrong I always got attention from guys, but not to the extreme, and not the same kind of attention. It's weird, because of course I like attention, but then again I don't. This is something that I seriously have to work on. When we went out over the holidays I was with my husband, but was getting the eye and vibes from other men (plural). As soon as I got home I ate a bunch of stuff that I know I don't need (self- sabatoge). This happened 3x so the pattern made me more conscious of it. What does being fat do for you? What do you get out of it. For me I guess it is some type of security.
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  #2   ^
Old Thu, Jan-17-02, 11:19
razzle razzle is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,193
 
Plan: mostly paleo
Stats: //
BF:also don't care
Progress: 100%
Location: West Coast, USA
Default

geocolon, this is a great question and each of us finding our own answers is, I think, crucial to maintaining loss and staying with our WOE in the long term

I relate to what you said in your post. I was a fat kid and when I first lost weight, around age 19, I was pretty horrified by how men suddenly treated me--like a piece of meat--so I understand that sense of feeling safer in an overcoat of fat. I regained some weight after a professor molested me--no big mystery there, eh? The only cure for this fear is my slow (and recent) recognition that I can pick and choose my friends, that I can say no, that I can see shallow or crass or aggressive behavior on a man's part as a great big red flag saying, "stay away from this person." So I'm seeing both their actions and my responses more as a gift than a threat. Whooda thunk?

I've come to believe that metabolism is as important as psychololgy, and that there may be no deep dark reasons for getting fat beyond, "we ate like everyone around us and this is what happened"--at least for some of us.

I'm not one of those folks, though. I started gaining weight at age 5 or 6 and I think the reasons were two, both associated with my mother going to work for 50-60 hour weeks. For one thing, that left me alone with a 12 year old violent sibling who hit me a lot--I honestly think I got fat in order to get bigger and have a better chance to defend myself. Also, I was left alone in my home every afternoon and Saturdays, too. I truly did start to eat for comfort....carbs still bring that temporary sense of comfort and abating loneliness (though in the long run, they do neither). Maybe I even was angry at my mother for abandoning me and ate to punish her--even then I was aware she cared a great deal about dieting and keeping thin herself; my eating clearly bothered her (though not enough to quit buying junk food! -- lol)

The task for me as an adult is recognizing that those were good strategies then--I was doing the best I knew how as a little kid and honor that--but that they are no longer strategies that work for self-protection or for self-comfort or for expressing anger. I have other, more appropriate ways to deal with such feelings now, and I implement them. Carb cravings now alert me that I may well be repressing one of these emotional reactions--fear, loneliness or sadness, anger--and so once again I can view something (the cravings) I once saw as a major hassle as, instead, a gift.
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  #3   ^
Old Thu, Jan-17-02, 13:00
A thin me!'s Avatar
A thin me! A thin me! is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 562
 
Plan: Dr. R. Atkins
Stats: 325/?????/170
BF:
Progress: 23%
Location: Illinois
Default

Gina:

I know you are a working Mom - but on Oprah today, they had these women who weighed 287-389 lbs. and they were in a documentary about their lives. It was interesting, because they were into their reasons for being so heavy and how they have to deal with it everyday.

In order to succeed on any diet, program, WOL, you have to sit down, and look deep within yourself and find the true, bone crushing, heart breaking, devasting reason for your own fatness . It is mostly likely a trauma or something of that nature that pushed you into fatness.

Once you know your personal reason, only then can you go forward and accomplish your goal. Until you know and accept your personal reason, each attempt at losing weight will mean nothing. This is the premise behind BoB Greens "Get With the Program" book.

I am in the process of dealing with this myself, and once I can acknowledge it and stop blaming others, then I can be successful.

Thought I would share,

A Thin Me
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  #4   ^
Old Thu, Jan-17-02, 16:30
jo_ jo_ is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 245
 
Plan: Atkins HIGHLY Modified
Stats: 247/195/135
BF:
Progress: 46%
Location: So. Cal.
Default

Mine's pretty easy I became fat when I launched through a windshield. Eating certain types of food provides a modicum of pain relief in a narcophobic world.
Jo
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  #5   ^
Old Thu, Jan-17-02, 17:55
surlymel surlymel is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 51
 
Plan: restricted carb Paleo
Stats: 180/124/135 Female 5'4"
BF:
Progress: 124%
Default

I can honestly say that I "got fat" because of an autoimmune disorder that went undiagnosed for more than six years. I'd gained 20-30 lbs. in two years' time, and kept getting heavier every year after... It's taken 9-10 months just to get back to a semblance of normal health.
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  #6   ^
Old Thu, Jan-17-02, 17:57
shelley's Avatar
shelley shelley is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 279
 
Plan: South Beach
Stats: 244/224/130 Female 5' 3" (should be 6'3")LOL
BF:
Progress: 18%
Location: Cambridge, Ontario
Default For me it started

with pregnancy. I went from 97 pounds to 185. Lost that in a hurry. Then one year I started getting tremendous headaches. I started gaining weight uncontrollably and was 240 pounds 8 months later. I was diagnosed with a empty sella syndrome with a pituitary tumour. The endocrinologist trying to help my feelings, indicated to me that I should be happy I only weight 240, he has patients with this problem who are up to 450 pounds with this. I know he was trying to help but....... Why I haven't lost it since then, I think in part weight loss will be difficult plus I think I was depressed for many years and hid in my house so that I wouldn't have to listen to all the derogatory comments from people, especially from family.
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  #7   ^
Old Fri, Jan-18-02, 01:11
Squeezle's Avatar
Squeezle Squeezle is offline
Pending Member
Posts: 157
 
Plan: CALP
Stats: 314/306.6/299
BF:
Progress: 49%
Location: Brisbane, QLD, Australia
Default

I will not discount that some people may gain weight as a result of some emotional trauma or vulnerablity. Food is often synonymous with comfort and love in many cultures. I know that was not my problem however and I get rather incensed at doctors who, for YEARS, blamed me. One actually told me, "Well, just shut your fat mouth and don't stick anything in it!" I am one of many I suspect who have a genetic and biochemical basis for obesity. I believe my insulin was always slightly high, even as a child, because I could not lose weight on a weight-watchers type diet. I stuck to it faithfully and while, at that stage, I only had maybe 35 lbs to lose (age 16), I couldn't budge them. I finally quit WW because the counsellors there accused me (in a public meeting, no less) of cheating on my plan and then lying about it. Well....looking back...no, I couldn't budge anything while eating 60% carbs as their program was at that time. I kept trying to eat "right" (ie, lowfat, high carb) which only aggravated my insulin resistance. Then came progestin-based birth control (minipill, norplant, depo) and all hell broke loose. No matter what I did, I was gaining 10lbs a year, steadily. (progestin is known to increase insulin resistance).

Fast forward to last August (age 33) when I FINALLY found a doctor to test my insulin. It was off the chart. Enter Metformin and reduced carb eating and voila! Weight loss and also cessation of all of my insulin-related symptoms.

Sometimes I could just sit and cry when I realize that I might have been able to prevent a 120lb gain if I knew then what I know now. Well, at least I know it now, and am on the way to reducing the damage done. I just hope others with the same insulin biochemistry can benefit from my (our) experiences and not have to go through the frustration of being blamed for something which had nothing to do with mental distress or eating too much.
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  #8   ^
Old Fri, Jan-18-02, 06:50
surlymel surlymel is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 51
 
Plan: restricted carb Paleo
Stats: 180/124/135 Female 5'4"
BF:
Progress: 124%
Default

Quote:
Originally posted by Squeezle
Sometimes I could just sit and cry when I realize that I might have been able to prevent a 120lb gain if I knew then what I know now. Well, at least I know it now, and am on the way to reducing the damage done. I just hope others with the same insulin biochemistry can benefit from my (our) experiences and not have to go through the frustration of being blamed for something which had nothing to do with mental distress or eating too much.


I feel the same sense of frustration. My doctor(s) kept patting me on the head and telling me my physical problems were all stress related... might as well have been calling me honey or sugar while they were at it. I'd had a host of symptoms every day for six years (and gained 45 lbs. on top of that) and it was all caused by "nerves" LOL.

I could have avoided all the depression, malnutrition, nerve/joint damage and dental cost of fixing my (osteo) cracked teeth if someone had just *listened* to me like I was a human being. Guess I'm still quite surly about it all
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  #9   ^
Old Fri, Jan-18-02, 07:07
EllieEats's Avatar
EllieEats EllieEats is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 794
 
Plan: ATKINS
Stats: 164/130/132
BF:
Progress: 106%
Location: Gulf coast, Florida, USA
Default

I weighed pretty much the same for years and years and years....

My binging on sweets started when I went into a terrible depression after my Mom passed on. I quit giong to the gym, quit doing most everything! I just filled myself with with cookies, cake and candy! Then I decided to quit smoking... in place of every cigarette, I had more sweets. I put on a total of 50 pounds and then had extreme stress from other things in my life.
I went back to the cigarettes and all food took a back seat. Some of the weight came off and then I started Lcing with this forum.

I still plan to quit smoking again... but this time I'm doing it right.
First, I want to get to my weight goal and have the excercise a regular part of my day. Then, I plan to quit and replace the cigarettes with more water, and more excercise!

I guess I need to learn not to turn to my addictions in times of unrest.
Ellie
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  #10   ^
Old Fri, Jan-18-02, 07:57
Gilta's Avatar
Gilta Gilta is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 97
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 195/201/145
BF:
Progress: -12%
Location: NY
Default Life

Life threw me a bunch of curves and eating was my stability. For 3 years I went through medications and ended up with 40 extra pounds.

I did manage to loose all of my weight and more after my son was born, but slowly it went back on after 5 years. I am now at a stage in life, where I want to look and feel good about me. Enough is enough for me.

I want out of this body!

Gilta
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  #11   ^
Old Fri, Jan-18-02, 08:05
daisy daisy is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 135
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 147/126/119
BF:
Progress: 75%
Location: Sunderland, UK
Default

I can't use my children as an excuse for gaining weight as I was back into my size 10 jeans 2 weeks after having them! I was so busy with them I forgot to eat most of the time & any excess weight I was carrying dropped off me. I'd started gaining weight gradually till meeting my current boyfriend, when I put on a lot of weight. He likes to eat out a lot & spoil me- & spoiling the old Daisy involved lots of chocolate! He's a big guy & I still felt small beside him, so it wasn't so bad. And to be honest I loved him being so big- I'm hoping he doesn't lose too much of his lovely deep chest that I like to snuggle into so much!

I hated being big myself though. I was chubby as a child & my mum never let me forget it. I remember feeling huge, like a whale, & was too shy to exercise. Now I look back at photos of me then & I really wasn't that big. I lost a lot of weight during adolescence & weighed 100lbs at 16 when I met my ex. His pet names for me were piggy & fatty. Can you believe I actually had children with this guy? I really don't know why I put up with this behaviour from people. I didn't even tackle my mum about it until last year, not long before I started this WOE. I'd taken some old clothes along for my little sister, as they didn't fit me any more. I was eating some lunch & she was going on & on at me about how much weight I'd put on, & I just snapped & yelled at her that if I ever lost weight she'd only need to find something else to criticise me about. She was really horrified- I think she genuinely didn't realise how much she'd hurt me. My ex I got my own back on every time he begged me to take him back.

Once I got rid of my ex I gained a lot of confidence, but that started to go with every pound I put on. Not that I'd ever be unfaithful to my boyfriend, but I love to flirt & I just stopped after a while. I really did wonder who'd find me attractive again. I felt angry & disappointed with myself more than anything, for turning back into 'the fat kid'.

I'm so much happier now! I feel like the old Daisy again. I'm always telling people about Atkins- sometimes I even want to run up to people on the street!- but for some reason they think they couldn't stick to it, or you get the usual 'it must be bad for you' routine! Even though they can see the results in me! You can lead a horse to water...!

Thanks for listening to my moan!

Daisy
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  #12   ^
Old Fri, Jan-18-02, 10:00
gecolon's Avatar
gecolon gecolon is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 320
 
Plan: low carv
Stats: 324/299/180 Female 5feet 6inches
BF:47%
Progress: 17%
Location: Harrisburg, PA
Default

Wow. I guess we do all have our own cross to bare. I can identify with each and everyone of your stories the medical reasons too. At my heaviest I was diagnosed with diabetes. The meds my doctor gave me (glucotrol and actos)made me gain about 20 1bs in 6wks. That is what led me to this way of life (thank God). Sometimes something bad happens so something better can take it's place. I am glad to be an adult now. It's sad that the time that is supposed to be the most special in your life can actually be the hardest (child-hood). I am older now and respect myself. I am confident that I will be better able to defend myself this time around. You guys are the bestest
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  #13   ^
Old Fri, Jan-18-02, 11:13
Lessara's Avatar
Lessara Lessara is offline
Everyday Sane Psycho
Posts: 7,075
 
Plan: Bernstein, Keto IFast
Stats: 385/253/160 Female 67.5
BF:14d bsl 400/122/83
Progress: 59%
Location: Durham, NH
Smile How I became fat

Ever since I was 8 I've been told I was fat by my Dad. Pictures of that time say different. By the time I got to High School I had been on so many diets and restrictions that it got pretty confusing for me. I remember I was allowed one piece of toast with a tsp of butter for breakfast. I could have another piece of toast with a single hamburger on it and 1 tsp of A-1 sause. That was lunch. Dinner was 2-3 onces of meat. A baked potatoe and a 1/2 cup of veggies (not corn though). I was hungry all the time. So where my sisters. But I never lost weight. Why? because I was at goal already! I remember weighing 100lbs when I was 12. That's good for a 12 year old who was 5'4"!

Finally I got to college and I ate what I wanted. I gained 60 lbs but in the spring my eating became only when I was hungry and I lost 30lb. When I got home from Tassle pulling (Pulling tassle off corn in fields) I would go swimming with friends. I ended being 140 lbs at 5'8". What happened when I got back to school? I was attacked twice by male friends that I knew. I gained weight to hide. It was only 8 years ago when I realized what I was doing so I went on diets. But nothing worked. I even did a fast and I gained two pounds! Nothing worked but low carbing.

Two years ago, I was going for my routine female exam and I had a new doctor, she looked through my records and said, "Oh I see that each of your pregnancies were sugar babies."
Which I found out ment that I had diabetes when I was pregnant and no one told me. My Daughter was born 8lbs 3 oz and my son was born 12lbs 13oz.
Big babies.

So I told my regular doctor about my mother's diabetes and my grandparents. He tested me and I don't have diabetes... but I'm close. So low carbing is the best thing for me.
And with counsilling, I feel I don't need to hide, that and a few martial arts classes as given me confidence to face what ever weight I'm at.
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  #14   ^
Old Fri, Jan-18-02, 11:26
snkhoward's Avatar
snkhoward snkhoward is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 264
 
Plan: atkins
Stats: 223/140/140
BF:
Progress: 100%
Location: Illinois
Default

I have been overwheight all my life. I remember diets and slimfast at age 10. My mother alsways reminded me of my wheight by telling me I shouldn't eat that or I should eat this and then giving the forbiden thing to my sister( who has always been thin)
add these self esteem issues to Fibromialgia and IBS probably since I was a young teenage but not diagnosed untill I was in my 20's and you get me at 27 and 223 lbs.
My issue though was always controll, I would binge eat whenever no one was around. Even as an adult. BECAUSE I COULD. Now I have controll in a healthy way.
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  #15   ^
Old Fri, Jan-18-02, 14:04
YogaBuff YogaBuff is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 199
 
Plan: Schwarzbein prin
Stats: 158/155/120
BF:
Progress:
Location: US
Default

OMG! Some of you have some really heart-wrenching experiences that made you gain!

Like squeezle and surlymel, I know in my heart that I always had a quick and strong insulin response. Even as a child. As I told someone on this board- I think it was LC Sponge, I always ate healthy as a child. We had meat, eggs, cheese, veggies from our garden, but NOT that many carbs, and hardly EVER sweets unless it was someone's birthday. Because of this, I didn't have any trouble w/ eating and weight ( sounds like all of us LC-ers NOW, doesn't it?) Also, it was before techno- toys, we were poor, and we went OUTSIDE and PLAYED all the time, even into our teenasge yrs, we would get a softball game together!

Anyway, what my ramblings mean is, when I became an adult, moved out and discovered junk food, BOY did my body respond to THAT!! At first it was just 5 # or so over 5 yrs.(I'm very short), but it just kept coming on and after kids, it was like 170, and I am pretty CERTAIN I WOULD BE a LOT more than 155, if I hadn't spent all those yrs. STARVING and working out like a maniac. Which of course we all know backfires in the end and MORE comes on...... THIS is what happens from the insulin response. Although I never had a Dr. say to me what yours said, I had my mother-in -law on my back endlessly makin comments like I was no longer good enough for her son. Lucky for me HE never made comments like that(bless him). And a brother in law of mine said that "I must be really tossing back the groceries" (down my throat). That hurt. Little did he know, I was mostly starving.

YB
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