Wow, all I can say is thank you to everyone who posted. It adds a little warmth my heart to hear kind supporting words. All of my girlfriends are C's or bigger so they can't understand what life is like for me on the other end of the spectrum. They feel I'm being ridiculous. Of course they can't fathom why anyone would want to have the surgery. If I was a C, I wouldn't either.

foxgluvs & potatofree had great ideas about how to deal with drive by snarkiness. LOL Love that term, drive by cruelty. I can't be mean to someone deliberately. It's very difficult for me, unless provoked and usually it takes alot for me to get to that level of anger. I try to be a good person and treat others how I would like to be treated (I'm still a Catholic schoolgirl, that's how we were brought up). It feels disrespectful to be rude to my aunt, despite how outright mean she's been to me throughout the years. I suspect I can't be hurtful right back is because it hurts me so much that she says these things to me, and also because in some ways I feel sorry for her.

Duparc, I think you hit the nail on the head about my aunt's jealousy. I've still got my whole life ahead of me, I'm not young but I'm still young enough to do what I want and without being saddled down by a husband and two kids (none of which make her happy). I love my aunt, and my cousins but I wouldn't change places with them for all the boobage in the world! About a month ago at my cousin's daughter's birthday party, my aunt make a comment about my living at home and I remarked, well at least I won't need to get married to get out of the house. I have a freedom she gave up twenty years ago.

For the record, I would gladly sacrifice portions of my intelligence to have boobs. I'm too freaking smart anyway for my own good. Let's see, no boobs and too much brains - guess how many men are turned on by that? If you guessed zero, pls. contact me on how to receive your prize.

I am still at a loss for how to respond to the "I thought that was your back" comment. Any suggestions for witty comebacks?

Kay and Bride911, I agree it's ridiculous that my family or certain members of my family are so concerned with particulars of one's anatomy, I can't explain it. But it exists and I have to deal with it. It's a no win situation like Danabear said. If I'm fat, it's a problem, if I'm thin it's a problem. Gee, wonder why I'm prone to eating disorders?

Ned, thank you for reminding me about the demons of false promises. I know, I know that complaining about being flat chested is hardly the stuff of serious health disorders or disease or illness. I thank god everyday that I take a breath and after every workout that I have an able body to use and abuse It seems stupid and a waste of time to even vocalise the complaints. I deal with that everyday - the guilt of wanting more when I've been blest with so much. Is it so wrong?

I'm not having children, so the concerns of nursing or feeding is irrelevant to me, but auto-immune diseases or the multitude of problems that saline implants (allegedly) cause are. This is reason #1 for me not having the surgery 10 years ago. Fear. I want to be happy, but I'm not truly happy. No matter how much weight I've lost/lose/will lose it will not make up for the fact that I am deficient.

Hmmm... When they say " I thought that was your back." how about "Why, so you can stab me in it some more?"

But as for how many men are turned on by brains and no boobs... all it takes is ONE, and if he loves you the way you are, that's all it takes.

There are many men out there who aren't looking for dumb and stacked, and IMO, they're better quality. Would you want a guy with six-pack abs who couldn't carry a conversation? Give me a beer belly and a wicked sense of humor ANY day.

"I thought it was your back"! How about putting the ball back into the other person's court by replying, "Does that upset you"? or possibly a variant to this like, "I wonder why that should upset you"? In each instance wait for the other person to reply.

Vgal, I wish I could relate to being flat chested. When some of my friends complain about being flat chested I just reply, "yeah, but at least you can lay on your stomach without having to rearrange your boobs." That probably doesn't help you much but don't be envious of those more endowed, it comes with a price!

I guess as far as family goes, I would probably just give them a short stare and then turn and start talking to someone else like I never heard them.

amen to that sister!!! beauty is in the eye of the beholder...and no two sets of eyes see any one thing the same way

Yeah I gotta wonder WHY it would bother so much someone that I have no boobs. Its not as if my aunt or assorted family members have to deal with it, or live with it - or in my case, NOT live with it. And if its so painful to look at me, then do me the favour and don't look at me.

JAnn, my mom has your problem, always complaining about how big her boobs are and what an inconvenience they are to work out, lie down, etc. Gee, whiz. Cry me a river. Poor you. People aren't disgusted to look at you, Mom. I never hear people complain about how BIG someone's boobs are.... although a fatass, well that's another story altogether.

Stab me in the back! OUCH! Wow, I'll file that one away. I think that might shut her up.

I'd be happy to find one man who wasn't interested in just my appearance, but those are few and far between in LA. And yes, although I believe personality is overrated in general, I would want a nice body that contains a brain in it that actually functions. When men say they want a girl with a sense of humour, they really mean a nice ass and a great rack.

I think a man who isn't picky about a woman being dumb and stacked (isn't necessarily better quality) they are generally the ones who can't afford to be. Like me, I suppose.

Especially when they're not wearing their glasses!

The problem I have with big boobs is that no matter how much I lose I will always look heavier than someone with smaller boobs. One reason is because the eyes include the upper part of the body when a person looks at a face. Another reason is that if I wear something loose it just hangs down and no matter how small my waist and hips become, I still look big!

The advantage of small breasts: How much time and $$ do you have to spend trying to get food stains off your tops?

hello my name is cecilia and im new to the group
ive just been checking it out.some of the posts have brought tears to my eyes and some have made me smile, for the lady needing(wanting ) implants i beleive you should pull the lady aside and tell her that she is hurting your feelings people can be so rude and they need to realize that words hurt and once youve hurt someone with your words you can apologize but the pain remains and if talking to her doesnt work pray for her

I guess if physical appearance is high on your list of priorities, it's just the way it is.

Maybe it's my age, or maybe just because I've been fat so long I forget what the "meat market mentality" is like... (I used to be thin and remember vaguely feeling like everyone needed to "measure up" ) but I've learned over time that it's really not that important. Maybe I can't "afford to be picky" looking like I do now? <shrug>

I am who I am. Whoever I date will appreciate that, even if the package is in the "scratch and dent" pile. I'd rather be and be WITH someone who can't afford to be picky than be with someone who'll dump me when things start to sag and wrinkle, or if I lost a breast to cancer, or a limb to an accident. It happens.

Someone worth having you won't care about your breast size. There are a lot of men out there who are limited to thinking about women in terms of body size and sex. But the number isn't zero of decent men who will appreciate your mind and heart. Several of them hang around here.

I was overweight when I met my DH of 20 years. I was overweight when we married. I was overweight, then obese, for much of that 20 years. Now, when I'm in control and am working on a body that I can be proud of, he still has me. His love wasn't dependent on my size. And my "C" cup will soon be back in "B," because that part of me is shrinking too. Oh, well. I don't have back problems. My husband says "anything more than a mouthful is a waste anyway."

As far as hurtful family, everyone has stories. There is a back-stabber in every group. "I thought that was your back." "Hmm, most people's backs are the side without a face." "No, my arms come out in this direction, just like everyone else's." "No, my back is up against the chair, just like everyone's is when they sit down." Some comment to let them know what they just said was so infantile!

My husband got this kind of treatment when we were dating, "How old are you?" "What year are you in college?" "You're a senior? Do you know Gail is just a freshman?" We are 4 1/2 years different, but you'd have thought they believed he was 60 when I was 19. A cradle robber. He let it get to him, and I just told Mom that if I didn't really like, love and respect him, I wouldn't have brought him home to meet the family. The subject never came up again.

that's what my fiance says too!

Thank goodness we found guys with grace and senses of humor, Bride911. Those guys are out there. They just find other things to worship about us.

Ditto here.

I spent a good length of time "perfect", physically, and it's totally pointless. I hate to sound kooky, but it's true that you attract exactly what you put out there. I met plenty of guys and the ones that were interested in me were all all either really arrogant a-holes, or as psychologically messed up as I was. I met some high-quality nice guys, but never got close to them. Good guys can smell that poor self-esteem and superficiality a mile away, and I wouldn't have had a chance with them.

Since then, I've put on almost 20 lbs, had to give up my contact lenses for coke bottles, more acne scars, more varicose veins, braces on my teeth... and let me tell you, I'm way hotter now than I was then. True attractiveness really comes from the inside.

Sure, bigger boobs might be a turn-on for some guys... but high-maintenance can be a big turn-off, so it's kind of a coin toss, isn't it?