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  #46   ^
Old Sun, Dec-02-01, 09:22
shelley's Avatar
shelley shelley is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 279
 
Plan: South Beach
Stats: 244/224/130 Female 5' 3" (should be 6'3")LOL
BF:
Progress: 18%
Location: Cambridge, Ontario
Default

Don't you hate it that you have to work twice as hard to get half the appreciation as your thin co-workers?
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  #47   ^
Old Sun, Dec-02-01, 10:17
sylvia sylvia is offline
New Member
Posts: 6
 
Plan: dr atkins new diet reveloution
Stats: 195/173/135-140
BF:
Progress:
Thumbs up

pTo Blondie
I think that people don't make remark on your weight loss anymore because they are so completley jealous that you can lookso well and it is'nt a terrible hardship? .Inmy experience these are the ones constantly trying to work off the " FAT " that they have eaten and can't bring themselves to try adiet that can't just work !!! so you are certainly giving in by losing weight the thing to remember is these people will always find something wrong in what you have done and my "my God you look so tired pale thin etc etc " one colleague of mine actually took me aside one day and said that if I carry on the way I'm going that I'll have no friends because I was so miserable on my diet !!!! asyou know you were always so jolly and laughing she went on . Now you might ask what did I say to that .I'll tell you, give up the cigerettes try the diet yourself and last of all if you were my friend you would be delighted for me not telling me how people won't like me . onhearing all this another girl decided to try the diet - she lost the 12lbs she had being struggling to shed for weeks by walking the roads and eating a low fat diet -she lost it in 2 weeks needless to say.we are getting some where and people don't like seeing you doing something to help themselves because they might have to do something about thmselves .As I used to say when I was young and being teased about my weight "if all you can find to tease me about is my weight then you mustn,t have much to say for yourself ." don,t give up girl you do what makes YOU happy good luck p.s I read alot of betty shine she's a great help psychologicaly which is were alot of us need the the help when you start getting what you always wanted all of a sudden bestof luck sylvia ,Ireland co.cork
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  #48   ^
Old Sun, Dec-02-01, 11:57
Robibob's Avatar
Robibob Robibob is offline
New Member
Posts: 10
 
Plan: atkins
Stats: 276/276/150
BF:
Progress: 0%
Location: Tulsa,Okla.
Default

Howdy,
All of us has been there,done that,and bought the tee-shirt.
I was being ornery the other day.My Mom I know means well.BUT
she is always saying,if you would lose weight you would feel better you would be happier,ect... Well she wanted something to drink so I stopped at a Texaco,These to very nice young men were in front of me. They both opened the doors,Well I popped off that I didn't belive I was not that wide that I needed both doors open.They were embarrassed,I was sorry as soon as the moment the words left my mouth.I then praised the fact that very few men opened doors for women and that they have just shown chivalry was not dead and Thanked them profusly.They seemed to be pleased with that.
What I'm trying to say is I was trying to make myself feel better after all the nonsense I had listen to from my mom.I'm more careful about the things I say since then.
Not all people or mean. There is always someone out there that is willing to make others suffer to make themselves feel better.This year with my son who has now turned ten hurt me with calling me fatty mom.I explained to him how bad that hurt and that I had not raised him to say things like that about people.As a ten year old he said but it is true you are fat.I told him I was disappointed in him,that there are something that people should not say because it would hurt peoples feelings.
It must have sunk in because,he made friends with a little boy who is overweight.The other kids was calling him names,Kevin took up for him.He didn't want to see his friend cry.Now Kevin is careful about what he says to other people.Because he has seen how hurtful it can be.I do belive it is the parents responsibility to teach their kids.
Sorry so long winded.Keep it up everyone you have been a wonderful inspiration to me.
Robi
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  #49   ^
Old Sun, Dec-02-01, 17:04
Andy Davies Andy Davies is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,212
 
Plan: My own (based on a compil
Stats: 333/260/224 Male 73 ins
BF:
Progress: 67%
Location: Hampshire, England
Default

Thanks again to all for the input. There are some disclosures here that must have taken some greatness of character to share, and to these contributors I offer thanks for for their strength and honesty and generosity.

Joe, thanks for your remarks, but on this occasion the thread very quickly assumed a life of its own almost in spite of my intentions. It concerns me that some of this content here has been rather "heavy" (no pun intended) and to counteract any dampening effect this may have on members, I am planning a new thread which I intend to be uplifting. Should be able to launch it in a few days' time.

Many wise and true words have been contributed to this thread. I hope all those who reported abuse and rudeness no longer suffer it. There is an old saying that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, so let's hope we have all gained strength from these trials. What I have found is that people who have suffered a bit in life are far more genuine, positive and generous people, and these qualities are exactly those displayed every day on this web-site by our members.

Andy
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  #50   ^
Old Mon, Dec-03-01, 06:19
curvy's Avatar
curvy curvy is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 135
 
Plan: Low Carb/VSG
Stats: 347/185/200 Female 5'4"
BF:
Progress: 110%
Location: Canada
Default We've all been critical of someone.....

I have to admit, I've heard every insult on this thread, all directed at me......I don't care though......let's face it--no one is perfect. If you feel good about yourself, no half-witted comment is going to phase you. Just because the current trend is to be thin, it doesn't mean that the whole world views fat people as outcasts. Maybe I'm overly optimistic in this area, but I think this isn't a typical cross section of society...Personally, I've never had problems finding a job, never had a problem keeping friends and most of all, I never blame ANYTHING on my weight....

You'll never change other people.....so why bother? You can only change yourself....so, be happy with who you are and diet if you WANT to...
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  #51   ^
Old Mon, Dec-03-01, 14:03
Ageless's Avatar
Ageless Ageless is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 26
 
Plan: Atkinson/or just low carb/low fat
Stats: 220/210/160
BF:
Progress: 17%
Location: LA
Unhappy Unfortunately...

I have a few to add.

One that happened just recently as was I was walking through the gym hall way ... this little punk weighting maybe a $1.05 was passing me, he had plenty of room to pass but he still made it a point to throw himself against the wall and snicker at his friend.
It never ceases to amaze me that these goofy, skinny, funny looking guys wanna dis on 'the fat chicks'. Like I would EVER except a date from THEM! LOL!!!!!

Then there is a pretty major one that I am STILL working through, one with my ex-fiancé.
He told me at the end of our relationship that he was waiting the whole time for me to loose weight and look like I did in pictures he had seen of me. And had also told me that he didn’t think I was THAT fat BUTT..'your arms are a bit flabby and you have a double chin when you laugh'.
Don't miss HIM too much believe me!

*Feels so good to have a place to vent these things! *

Oh, and at almost 6' I get the "Boy! You are a BIG GIRL!" to which I now reply "NO SHIT! I am? Thanks so much for letting me know! " in of course the most sarcastic tone I can muster up....hehe.



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  #52   ^
Old Wed, Dec-05-01, 19:38
Andy Davies Andy Davies is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,212
 
Plan: My own (based on a compil
Stats: 333/260/224 Male 73 ins
BF:
Progress: 67%
Location: Hampshire, England
Default

Quote:
*Feels so good to have a place to vent these things! *


And so another function of this thread (and forum) - catharsis!

Andy
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  #53   ^
Old Thu, Dec-06-01, 13:46
Sh'ra's Avatar
Sh'ra Sh'ra is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 343
 
Plan: Predominantly Atkins
Stats: 320/260/145
BF:
Progress: 34%
Location: Missouri
Default

One that got to me when I was at my full 320 lbs was during a parade day. We had set out chairs for the Residential Care residents and my husband had gone to get them while I guarded the chairs. I was just enjoying the warmth of the day and watching traffic, and a pick-up truck went by with two guys and two girls in the back, obviously on their way to party at the river (lawn chairs, coolers, etc.)

One guy looked my way and said, "What're you looking at, you fat b***h?" I smiled sweetly, waved, and said, "Jesus loves you anyway, you poor little redneck man." His female friend howled with laughter and slapped him, and he just kind of hung his head.

It did hurt, but was also a catharsis for me - number one, rather than being ashamed and depressed for a week, I had a comeback (not all that witty, but it worked at the time). Number two, it made me realize that I didn't want to be fat anymore, and FOR MYSELF I needed to lose weight.

Sh'ra
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  #54   ^
Old Thu, Dec-06-01, 15:34
wangeci's Avatar
wangeci wangeci is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,423
 
Plan: Atkins induction AGAIN...
Stats: 242/197/199 Female 5'8.5"
BF:ALOT
Progress: 105%
Location: Minnesota
Unhappy

Sh'ra

That is horrible, I am sorry you had to go through that. You know, being overweight does not make us bad people, it does not make us a &%&*% or any less of a person. It is sad that in the eyes of others we can be perceived this way. Well, losing for yourself is great, it looks like you have done a great job so far.
Keep it up.

Cindy
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  #55   ^
Old Thu, Dec-06-01, 15:57
Lessara's Avatar
Lessara Lessara is offline
Everyday Sane Psycho
Posts: 7,075
 
Plan: Bernstein, Keto IFast
Stats: 385/253/160 Female 67.5
BF:14d bsl 400/122/83
Progress: 59%
Location: Durham, NH
Cool Tutoring

I have to tell you this positive story.
When I was in college and was weighing 250, I tutored people in Math, English and Science. I met some great people.
I had two men who were my friends, one because they would cook for me and two they thought I was beautiful not only in my mind but my body. (Yes they said that) Both are from out of the country. I was complimented all the time. One even corrected someone else who made a nasty comment about me. I think it was this early experience that I realized that the world view isn't the same as the city where I came from or the magazine I read.
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  #56   ^
Old Thu, Dec-06-01, 18:56
Andy Davies Andy Davies is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,212
 
Plan: My own (based on a compil
Stats: 333/260/224 Male 73 ins
BF:
Progress: 67%
Location: Hampshire, England
Default

...which brings us back to Wa'il's excellent and most welcome posting on this thread of the poster Doreen found from years ago. A different, time, a different culture.

Sh'ra - sorry about your unwelcome experience. I spotted that you had a lot to offer weeks ago, on about your 4th post. It's a pity people are so judgmental about superficial appearance, and do not recognise the qualities within.

Lessara - fruits of a different culture, yet again. I can see we'll have to change our culture ourselves!

Andy
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  #57   ^
Old Fri, Dec-07-01, 09:26
A thin me!'s Avatar
A thin me! A thin me! is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 562
 
Plan: Dr. R. Atkins
Stats: 325/?????/170
BF:
Progress: 23%
Location: Illinois
Default

I made time this morning to sit down and read this post - as I have always glanced at it and wonder what it was about.

My contribution is this:

Looking back - I started out as a fat kid - my Mom would dress us alike - Mother/Daughter dresses. Anyone remember these?
Until, I ate my way out.....

Somehow along the early tween and teen years, I grew into a beautiful, popular, smart, happy person. I look back at photos and wonder who this person was.

During college, my family was financially wiped out due to a fire where everything was lost - including me. I was pronounced D.O.A. but by some miracle this dr. was able to find some a hint of life and save me. Eventually, life returned to normal for my family and we were back where we were. Except for me.

College was tough for a year after that, mentally, physically and I lost a lot of hope and began the spiral into fatness. I did graduate doubled with majors and went on to getting my double masters and law school. If I was in school now, I could never fit into those chair/desk units!!!!

My weight never was an issue during my career - I looked very nice in clothes and never felt any slights from anyone. I carried it well or I was so dazzling, career wise that no one noticed!! LOL

It was not until my family moved into our current area. I refer to it as the "Stepford Village" - based on the movie, the "Stepford Wives."

All wives are thin, attractive, active blond - blue eyed PTO'ers ( I have nothing against them, I was one too.) whose sole uniform is tennis whites all year round. The women do not work and are activelly involved in the schools and tennis and paddle clubs. Most have 3.7 children and a golden retreiver!! I kid not!!

This cloning is especially noticable during the community gatherings throughout the year, 4th of July, Octoberfest and school events. I stick out because I am fat, red-haired, green eyed, FAT, women with one child and the family does not attend the various churches in the area.

Because of my difference from them, I have been shunned and so has my daughter. We do not fit in and it is sad - I have heard the comments behind my back and to my face. My daughter has been the object of meanness. The girls especially are cruel as they are following their moms. At lunch, you will see girls whose lunches consist of Slim Fast shakes or just a salad. These are 11-13 girls. What is the message here?

I have had children come to me and ask when is the baby due? I am not pregnant.

This sadness has made my differences worse, because I would resort to food - food for comfort, food for sadness, food for sanity and food to cover the pain for me and my child. The sadder I became, the more food I would eat and the bigger I got, the sadder I was, the more food I would eat. A never-ending cycle.

I see similiar traits in my child and I want to help her. But, I think I need to help myself first in order to help her. Perhaps this is wrong. I am not sure.

There is more, but this covers the jist and hopefully when you read this, you will understand. Thanks
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  #58   ^
Old Fri, Dec-07-01, 09:32
KASSY KASSY is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 164
 
Plan: Atkins Diet w/ a twist
Stats: 200/177/140
BF:
Progress: 38%
Location: N.Y.
Default sad

Shelley-
That is sad what your friend did to you. That is no friend at all. You keep doing what your doing and be happy with yourself.
I hear alot of - "you have such a beautiful face" , "you looked so good back when..."
My boss told me if I lost 50lbs. I would be able to go out and see our clients more.
I almost filed a harrassment suit against him, and decided the best way to get him back- is to do it- lose the 50lbs. and show him! So, in a backhanded way- his comment motivated me to change my life.
I can lose weight- but he can never lose his nasty attitude- that is something he has to live with !
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  #59   ^
Old Fri, Dec-07-01, 12:13
Andy Davies Andy Davies is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,212
 
Plan: My own (based on a compil
Stats: 333/260/224 Male 73 ins
BF:
Progress: 67%
Location: Hampshire, England
Default

Hi A Thin Me,

I was very saddened to read your story. This is one situation where I would put the welfare of my wife and children above all other considerations and move away from the area, at whatever cost. These are not just idle words - we were suffering this kind of abuse 18 months ago, and, although it was financially ruinous, we moved to where we are now. Finances are still precarious now, but at least I have a wife that is not in a mental institution, and children who are not scarred for life. Both of these outcomes would definitely have followed if we had stayed where we were. You are in a serious situation there, and I urge you to take drastic action to get out of it. Is there no chance of going back to where you were happy before? I don't think you were rescued from your dead-on-arrival condition to spend the rest of your days in purgatory. And what about your child's welfare?

Your story has me very worried.

Andy
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  #60   ^
Old Fri, Dec-07-01, 12:55
BaileyWS's Avatar
BaileyWS BaileyWS is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 232
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 292/271/160
BF:
Progress: 16%
Location: Baytown, Texas
Default

A thin me ...

I echo waht Andy said. I don't pretend to understand all the reasons people end up living where they do. And I understand how you might not feel you have the choice to move ... My experience with neighborhoods like yours -- which many of my friends and colleagues choose for the sake of the kids (better schools, nice houses, etc.) -- is that they are NOT better for the kids in the long run. They teach values that I don't agree with at all -- like the ones that appearance, brands, and consumerism is what matters most in life.

Now we are living in a good mix of a community. The school my daughter attends is 56% spanish speaking, and the social class runs the gamut from illegal immigrants and migrant workers, to doctors and middle to upper management of a major oil company.

Speaking of daughters ... did you see Oprah the other day? It was about anorexia and other eating disorders. They had girls as young as five (!) complaining that they were too fat ... and one girl who was 9 who almost died from eating little more than paper ... she said it filled her up, but she was sure it wouldn't make her fat. It infuriates me that our society has this fat-fear -- like it's the most horendous thing that could happen to a girl.

Oprah was good to point out that these disorders are very complex issues, they are not food issues, and that they are reinforced by media and society. It's sad.

My daughter and I watched it together ... and we discussed how much pressure some girls feel in looking good ... luckily she's not feeling the pressure as much. She's much more interested in health and comfort than in appearances -- that's my girl!
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