I am so so sorry Crystal. I know all about stress BELIEVE ME! It must be so hard traveling when you have a little one to leave behind. How old is your daughter? I hope it is not too serious.? Just I know it is hard, but don't lose sight of yourself and your health or you won't do them or yourself any good. I know it is easier advice said than followed, because I have been on your side. I wish I could stay here longer, but we are leaving in a few hours for Maine. Please take care and my thoughts are with you...

my daughter is 6 months old... they dont know how serious it might be yet. i bought a pilates tape yesturday & im going to start doing it tonight, so, hopefully that will help curb that nighttime binge demon

thank you so much for all your support ((hugs))

Crystal, I'm so sorry to hear how about the rough patch you are going through <<<<<hugs>>>>>, hang in there.

How was pilates last night? Exercise is a great stress reducer, I think that was a smart thing to go get!

I was a very controlled binge eater. I didn't eat food I didn't like or want. I'd often eat "sensibly" throughout the day, but every night was a binge fest. After work, I'd stop at the grocery store and stock up on the things I wanted to eat that night. Early on, it was maybe one bag of Pepperidge Farm cookies, but toward the end, I was purchasing multiple items. I can't even begin to describe the amount of money I spent on my nightly binges!

The awful thing was, just before starting this WOE, I'd walk up and down the grocery isles, and nothing appealed to me. But I was NOT leaving the store until I had something.

That said Binge Eating Disorder (BED) is, indeed, an eating disorder and is in the DSM-IV:


Anyone interested may read all of the research criteria for BED in the appendix of DSM-IV, page 731.

I think BED is an appropriate acronym because bed is the only place I wanted to be when I was overeating and isolating.

!!!

I'd read so many self help books (anyone else gain weight reading books by Geneen Roth?? ) but "Food Addiction" was revelatory. It was the first time my desire to binge was explained in physiological terms (i.e., blood sugar).

I find that diet a little too restrictive and low fat nowadays, but it was what introduced me to my first moderate carb diet. I also got into OA then, but OA hasn't helped me much.

Atkins is the only thing that works for me, and I am so happy to have found it and all of you!

"BED".Oops... thats me! I was doing the Fat Fast today and I was doing great... no craving, hunger or loss of energy. What did I do? Yup!.. I just finished all the nutts I planned to have for tomorrow and for some reason, very fast.. like "if I'd eat them fast enough it just doest count" or "oh wel, I didnt do the fast perfectly antway, so why not eat them and just call it doing OWL."

Stupid the stuff we tell our selfs, aint it?

I had an epp. yesterday. I feel so guilty now. I mean instead of getting one potiuon of meat, I got 2 or 3 potions and now I feel so stupid for doing it adn I can do is have flashbacks to yesterday. Today, everything depresses me, I mean school starts for me on Monday, I don't have reliable way to and from school then I still need to find a job and I still have no one to teach me to drive and I'm 17.

Wow, that was SO me... when I was a teenager my idea of a fun Saturday afternoon was to curl up with a good book and a package of cookies, and not come out until one or the other was finished! It was always sweet or starchy stuff - cookies or Doritos usually.

OMG I didn't even know there was a name for this, I thought it was just me...

Even now on LC I will sometimes continue to eat when I'm no longer hungry. Usually (if it's mostly protein or fat) the food is so filling that I'll stop before I have a huge amount; but the other night we ordered in Indian, and I ate so much saag paneer (spinach dish with butter and paneer, which is an Indian cheese) that I felt like I was going to be sick. So I like to think I'm doing lots better, but I'm never really going to get over this, am I?

i dont think so... i really think its something we're going to struggle with forever. i think admitting it & being aware of it helps but i really dont know right now if its something we'll ever overcome... and even if/when we think we have, it will undoubtedly catch us sometime when we least expect it *sigh*

i blame it on my parents divorce.

Hey all, I'm glad I stumbled upon this thread. I'm a binge eater of the worst kind. Just reading through some of your replies, and seeing what you guys consider a binge, makes me sick to my stomache in comparison to myself. When I list what I ate on my last binge, no one will believe me. I know I have a serious problem with this... I've had struggles with anorexia and bulimia as well. I started the "Atkins Fat Fast" to jump start myself into Ketosis before I was going to begin induction AGAIN... I did SENSATIONAL on the fat fast for nearly a week, lost around 8 lbs by eating nothing more than cream cheese and macadamia nuts, and then totally caved when a co-worker asked me to meet him and some others for fondue. No one's going to believe me, but here's what I ate that night:

9:30 P.M.

Cheese fondue (although split between 4 people)
Meat Fondue (Split between 4 people)
Chocolate Fondue (split between 4 people)
Half of a HUGE mushroom salad

11:00
A double rum and coke
A Cosmopolitan
Two shots (mixed with something sugary)
Bar snacks, pretzles and swedish fish candy

12:00
Went to Jack in the box and got:
A Jr. Cheese Burger
Fries
An Egg roll

1:00
Made a run to the grocery store
A WHOLE pint of Ben and Jerrys Cookie Dough Ice cream

2:00
Stopped at a gas station and bought one of those pocket lemon pies

3:00
Went to the 24 hour doughnut shop and got three doughtnuts
ate 2.

I then stumbled to bed... my stomache aching like never before... needless to say I felt like hell the next day, and had gained 5 lbs. I don't know why I'm posting all of this... I don't know what kind of response I'm anticipating... surly not empathy. I guess I just want to hear of others who do this to themselves. And help me stop hurting myself this way. Thanks.

i've had days like that as well. a binge is a binge, tho. regardless of what or how much you eat. its just an uncontrollable crazy behavior.

i watched extreme makeover last night about a guy who is a compulsive overeater. he always has to plan today what he will eat tomorrow. im going to try this. i kinda do it now where i make my meals for work the night before, but never take into consideration dinner or night snacks & eat whatever im in the mood for. well, no more- i'm gonna start planning my whole day the day b4. maybe that will help. i dunno. im willing to try anything

I've done what you did, too, Miss Model. I would eat a lot of things in smaller quantities but come up with the same sick feeling that you describe including the whole pint of B&J and donuts, chocolate, burgers, fries all washed down with Coke or Starbucks frap. or whatever...

What's working for me right now is slowing down my eating, making sure I have lots of 'legal' foods around to make my favourite meals and snacks and everything's fresh and tasty (not pulling a wilted bunch of spinach out of the back of the fridge ) and trying to be as calm and laid back about food as I can. No pressure, no worries.....aaahhhhhhmmmmmm

I can relate so much to what everyone has posted! My eating disorder started back in high school, faded after a few years, and has been in the background now for more than ten years. I have occasionally eaten compulsively, but only started purging again a few months ago (as a substitute for other, more harmful behaviors?). It's hard for me to admit to having an eating disorder...last week my therapist confronted me about it and I was denying it all the way.

One of my friends is trying to persuade me to go to OA with her but it sounds so unpleasant I don't know if I will.

One of my problems is that my diet dictates whether I am "perfect" or "a complete failure." It's hard to keep going with healthy food when I feel like I've screwed up completely.

Thanks to everyone for posting so honestly--I feel better knowing that I am not the only one feeling like this!

Larix,

I have been to OA. I am not sure I would want to go with a friend though b/c, for me, it contradicts the anonymous nature & the self-assuredness that nothing I say is going any further b/c no one knows me there. The first time I went, I couldn't speak - just cried. I think b/c of the "shame" I felt (which now I know I should not). Sometimes even the "old hands" at the meetings do not speak. I guess, at times, just listening and knowing that you are not alone and that the thoughts that you may have are not unique to you alone is comforting.

Ultimately, you need to find what works for you and you are doing so well at coming to a point where you are FACING & ACKNOWLEDGING that this is an issue you for you.

Hang in there, sweetie.




Z.

You've made me look back and try to pinpoint when I starting binging myself.... I'm pretty sure it was when I was a single mom of 2 boys and I was only 20 years old!!! When I moved out on my own (was living in parents' basement suite) that was when I started binging -- lonliness? Stress over single, young parenting?? I don't know. But, that's when I really put on weight and continued even when I met and married my DH and we had a baby together. Everything else in my life seems so positive and in control (good job, good husband, great kids, nice home, friends, family, volunteer work). It's my eating and weight that I felt for so long that I didn't have control over. Now I feel much better that I'm working on it and am doing something about it. I'm a "black or white" person when it comes to my eating plan, tho. If I'm not sticking to it 110% and losing, I get so hard on myself to be perfect or else I'm a failure. All or nothing kind of mentality. I'm working on this and trying to be more relaxed and gentle with myself but it is still very hard. If I cheat? Well, that's it I blew it and I may as well have a huge binge because I've already ruined everything I'm working on that, too.... MAN, this is soooo much harder to do than "outsiders" could imagine. My husband, who is 6'5" and 180 lbs and never had a weight issue in his life, once told me (come on, say it with me now people, you've heard it before) "all you have to do is eat less and get some exercise" !!!!! GGGRRRR! I actually told him to shut up and that he didn't know what he was talking about (one and only time I've done that)....

Anyway, take care all and know that there are a lot of people dealing with things, too, and that we're all here to help each other thru it!!

Nicole