Quote:
Originally Posted by tigerstar
(1) I'd like to think of ex-TDCers as kindred, because you guys have gone through a lot of the same stuff I'm still going through. I don't think ex-TDCers forget, say, dealing with doctors or fitting into tight places. They might not deal with these problems anymore, but I don't think it's something you'd forget, especially if you've lived with it most of your life.
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Speaking as someone who no longer has to deal with "obese issues" anymore, for me personally you DO kind of take being treated well for granted. The harsh treatment you used to be subjected to, it's no longer at the front of your brain any longer, so you kind of don't think hard on it. You don't deal with it all the time, so it kind of falls to the side slowly but gradually.
But you are correct... you NEVER really forget, even if you think you have momentarily. All it takes is a post like AntiM's in the "10 pounds" thread to jog your memory, and you are that same 300 pound girl again... avoiding leaving her house because she's too afraid and sensitive to deal with the cruelty of strangers.
For the longest time - and I still do sometimes - I would walk by strangers with my breath held. I would do it especially if they are laughing among themselves. You walk by hurried, head down, trying to avoid drawing attention to yourself... you're trying your hardest not to hear what they're saying (because you know how it will feel if you find out), but there's an incurably curious part of you that is dying to know just what they're laughing about. You.
I still expect people to initially treat me like a "fat person" - that is to say, without human compassion, with cruelty, with indifference, with contempt and disgust.
Despite having obtained a physical appearance of thinness, internally I still am dealing with the devastating emotional toll of obesity. That's probably why I still feel as if I belong here, and why I relate to overweight and obese people on the forum more than those who are of a similar weight/lifestyle as I am now. I am still suffering from obesity, you just can't see it anymore.