Smoking has ruined my singing voice and reduced my abdominal strength. These are 2 things I have worked very hard on. As for all the other associated health-risks, don't tell me, I know.
The trouble is: when I get really depressed, I want to smoke pot. It cheers me up like nothing else. When I can't get hold of it for whatever reason, I still want to suck on some sort of smoke and tobacco seems like the next best thing. My partner is also a ciggy smoker and uses them as an emotional crutch.
Before I became too depressed to go to work, it was almost as if I gained some kind of acceptance when I started smoking. Many of my co-workers had weight problems. "Look at D, she's so skinny, she lives in the gym, she has no kids, she won't eat chips or lollies, she is soooo plastic, like she's not even human!" I am not being paranoid in this instance, it was being said. Then I started smoking and it was like, "Geez, you aint so perfect after all!" Well, I never said I was!!!!!!
That's enough excuses as to why I smoke. I know I need to stop. I have sucessfully quit before (gone years without a smoke.) From writing this all down, I can see that my depression is the major issue here, smoking is a mere symptom. I am on medication. It helps, but only so much. What can I do? I feel so stuck!