Fat children and bad parenting

You saw, I guess, the NYTimes story last week about the huge number of American children having to take drugs to control obesity-related medical conditions (Type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, etc.). Obesity rates in children over the past 20 years have skyrocketed. If you were an obese child, you stand an excellent chance of being an obese adult, or at least struggling with weight all your life I've said here many times before that I was a fat child who has had weight problems all his adult life, thanks in large part, I'm convinced, to bad eating habits established in childhood. I jumped on Michael Savage for blaming autism on bad parenting; there's absolutely no reason to conclude that, except ignorance.

But I do believe that a lot of the obesity epidemic in children boils down to bad parenting. I'm raising three kids, one of whom has a serious sweet tooth. If we kept snack foods around the house freely accessible to the kids, or let them eat as much as they wanted, or fed them a laissez-faire diet of processed and junk food, well, they'd be fat kids too. This, especially because we live in the city, and they don't have a chance to exercise as much as kids who live elsewhere.

But we don't let that happen. We do our best to make sure our kids eat decent meals. It's hard to say "no" to them, especially in a consumerist culture that's constantly pushing crap food at them -- but isn't that what being a good parent is all about? Teaching self-discipline and self-control, especially in a culture that praises indulgence of all kinds?

I'm not trying to pat myself on the back, because I know I fail my kids in lots of ways. But I am trying to express how frustrating it is to me to see so many obese or seriously overweight kids these days, and to see parents acting like obesity is just something that happens to these kids, like a chronic earache. When I was growing up, I got to eat whatever I want. I'd get off the school bus and plow through half a bag of Fig Newtons and two Coca-Colas while watching Gilligan and Hogan's Heroes. Food was love in my culture, and it was unthinkable to us that parents who loved their kids would deny them cookies, chips and Cokes.

That's how I entered fifth grade weighing 150 pounds.

Look, I'm not saying that every obese kid got that way through neglectful parenting. But I am saying that it's not right to blame young children for their weight problems. The responsibility falls chiefly on the heads of those in charge of their care and feeding: parents. Parents who don't do their jobs in controlling what their kids eat, and developing good eating habits in their kids, are setting those children up for a lifetime of physical and emotional distress, to say nothing of big doctor's bills and possibly an early death.

We would be aghast if parents let their children smoke; why is there no stigma attached to parents letting their kids routinely gorge on junk food? It's obscene that hundreds of thousands of American children have to be treated with statin drugs and the like. What is the role of adults in bringing about this situation? That's all I'm asking.

http://blog.beliefnet.com/crunchyco...-parenting.html

I think it is unwise to assume bad parenting without knowing the whole story.

Many children are fed by the state (breakfast and lunch in school) and no one is accusing them of abuse even though they provide more food to these children than many of the parents do.

The schools take away physical activity, push sweets as rewards, give so much homework there is no play time after school.

The marketing people teach children and parents what is healthy. "Snack foods" and "Junk foods" are marketed as healthy. "Low fat", "High Protein", "Whole Grain", "Heart Healthy"

Then there are the growing number of children with sensory problems and those on medications that affect weight.

It isn't safe to let kids "run the streets" like we did so if you can't afford or don't have the time for organized activities then it is a challenge to get regular activity.

It is widely know that stress affects weight, I have yet to hear anyone mention how stressed kids are nowadays. Be better in school, play an instrument, play a sport, volunteer, etc. Kids are over worked and under played. They have no outlet for their stress.

People have grown up thinking the food pyramid is healthy. That is what they were taught. They are using the knowledge they were given. Not everyone knows the information is bad. They are uninformed. They are doing the best with what they have.

Before the government starts blaming parents for the childhood obesity epidemic they should take a look in the mirror and realize that they laid the foundation by, among other things, allowing food companies to have input on Health campaigns, taking PE and recess out of the school and allowing deceptive marketing and research practices.

I think the obesity epidemic is a result of a bunch of small societal changes ranging from the structure of the school system, misleading marketing, environmental changes, performance expectations of children. They all work together to build the problem.

Assuming the world is full of parents that allow their children to drown themselves in Oreo cookies is not the answer.

I have a child who is considered overweight and I would be livid if someone accused me of being a bad parent without knowing the problems and trials my son goes through everyday.

TBH, I think blaming childhood obesity on bad parenting is no better than blaming autism on bad parenting. Unfortunately I have experience in both realms.

I have a child who is overweight. She started gaining when she was 8, when she was playing soccer 3 times a week, riding her bike, taking long walks with me. She never, never, never had unlimited access to junk food or even occasional access to it. She has always loved veggies and fruits. She tried Weight Watchers at that age and gained weight.

She is nearly 16 now. She hasn't had any sugar, flour, pasta, soda, french fries, pizza, pasta, potatos--none--for over a year. She has more willpower and stamina for this WOE than I do. She goes to birthday parties and refuses the cake and pizza. She goes to the movies with friends and resists the popcorn, soda, after-movie ice cream. She has lost some weight but still is overweight. When she stands next to her friends who are literally half her size (and who eat nothing but crap) I want to sob.

Her brother eats whatever he wants and is underweight.



Tell me what to do to stop being a bad parent to her and I'll do it. I'd literally kill myself that's what it took.

I agree- the problem is not that the fat kids eat total junk, it's that all the kids eat total junk, the skinny ones as well as the fat ones. We were the house with no dessert when I was a kid and no candy, but I was fat and all my friends that ate candy nonstop were skinny. That's just the breaks... But the skinny kids eat just as bad and nobody blames their parents.

Janine

"When she stands next to her friends who are literally half her size (and who eat nothing but crap) I want to sob."

I have two sons who eat nothing but crap, and they're both very thin. Am I a better parent because my boys are metabolically lucky?

My mom didn't buy "junk food" that often. Of course, the cupboard was stocked with "healthy" cereals, fruit juice, rice, bread, etc....

I would also add that after a certain point (maybe 6 or 7 years old?) there is no way to compell children to eat or not eat what is offered to them by others without becoming mentally abusive.

Janine

Economics plays a huge role, as well. Parent's buy what they can afford for their kids to eat. Let's face it - crap is cheaper than healthy stuff.

IMO that's a myth - with good planning a family can feed themselves a nutrient-dense diet within the budget of food stamp recipients - I did it last year to see if it could be done, and it can....simple meals, with a decent variety and yes, fresh produce too. The week of eating and food is on my blog - May of last year.

Very interesting reading, Regina. Thanks for the blog link. Do you suppose you could do it again right now with food prices being what they are?

I think that there was an increase....I'm not sure since I didn't follow up on it, but the Farm Bill did pass and it was said to include an increase for food stamp recipients.

Could I do it again today? I think so....but, as before, I think it requires planning - you can't just aimlessly walk into the grocery store and buy whatever, but need a plan - what is on sale that week and what meals can you put together with what is on sale + whatever basics you also need to buy to make those meals? As I noted on my blog, I spent time online looking at the sale circulars for the grocery stores in our area, went to the one furthest away first and worked my way back home which required a car and gas which would be a bit more expensive now too.....even with that, I would think it could still be done.

Hmmm....maybe I should try it again, huh?

That would be cool...and then compare the two. (Like you didn't have enough to do already...LOLOL)

Wow...this is interesting....when I did the food stamp challenge last year, the maximum for a family of three (me, DH and DS) was $63 for the week.

I poked around online to see how much it is now and it's up to $106.50 for a family of three (based on the maximum monthly for a family of three being $426...divided by four weeks = $106.50)

This seems to match closely where the USDA pegs the average cost to eat if you use their "Thrifty" plan to figure out how to plan meals and shopping....that comes out to $103.90 for a family of two + 1 child between 4 and 5 years old.

Now that I know what the increase was/is....I can say I could definitely feed us, and quite well too, for the new budget levels - even with increases in prices in the grocery store, an increase of mroe than $40 a week, yeah it's doable.

The question is not is it doable by you or me. To my mind the question is does the recipient have the knowledge to do it, and if not how are they to gain that knowledge.

This is one of the things RightNow talks about quite a bit -- the lack of basic understanding of nutrition.

In addition, the single parent working full time, might not have time for all kinds of comparison shopping to find the best deals, or planning of meals.

I was (well technically still am - except he is an adult now) a single mom working full time. I know I would have had a hard time, when my son was still young, finding time for extensive meal planning and budgeting.

I'm not saying it couldn't be done, but there are a lot of obstacles.