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  #1   ^
Old Fri, Jan-05-07, 23:12
Azure's Avatar
Azure Azure is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 177
 
Plan: Low carb and clean eating
Stats: 355/277/180 Male 5'11"
BF:
Progress: 45%
Location: Worcester, MA
Unhappy Giving it another go

I have been overweight since I was about 13 years old, breaching the 300 lbs mark before I was 20. I have been low carbing, on and off, since 1998. Nearly 10 years later, I'm 37 years old and back at my heighest weight, 350 lbs. During those nearly 10 years, the most I was ever able to lose was a little over 50 lbs. And I tell you, when I got under 300 for the first time in nearly 10 years it felt amazing.

But as what always happens, I "fell off the wagon" and gained back every pound I ever lost. And sometimes, I don't even know why I still bother. I have spent nearly a quarter of a century fat. And I don't know that that is ever going to change. I don't understand why I can't stop sabotaging my weightloss. I want desperately to be thin... hell, I'd settle for just being under 200 lbs. But no matter how hard I try, I always fail.

I fully expect to fail again this time. So why am I even bothering to try? I don't want to be fat. I'm just not sure I can do it. But I have to try. Because when the day comes when I decide I'm not going to try anymore, I think I may just stop living altogether.
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  #2   ^
Old Sat, Jan-06-07, 00:42
SidC's Avatar
SidC SidC is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,960
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 160/103/115 Female 62 inches
BF:
Progress: 127%
Location: Edmonton, AB Canada
Default

Azure - you're here, and although you say you fully expect to fail, you are still trying. This may be worse than waving pom-poms, but this is a quote from a card I keep by my computer:
No matter what is going on
Never Give up
Develop the heart
Too much energy in your country
is spend developing the mind
instead of the heart
Be compassionate
Not just to your friends
but to everyone
Be compassionate
Work for peace
in your heart and in the world
Work for peace
and I say again
Never Give up
No matter what is happening
No matter what is going on around you
Never Give up.
The XIVth Dalai Lama

Sorry for the rah, rah, but it did work for me. The quote is not about weight loss per se; it is about conviction. And deciding that you can and will make a difference, starting with yourself. Azure, you sound like someone who can do this. I should give you the rest of the standard advice about starting a journal here, etc., but you have probably already gotten that advice. So - keep hanging in here for a bit. This is a good place to hang out - best wishes to you.

Last edited by SidC : Sat, Jan-06-07 at 00:53.
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  #3   ^
Old Sat, Jan-06-07, 07:00
bkloots's Avatar
bkloots bkloots is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 10,147
 
Plan: LC--Atkins
Stats: 195/162/150 Female 62in
BF:
Progress: 73%
Location: Kansas City, MO
Default

Here's a link to a recent post by Kyrasdad that I found this morning. I found it encouraging, and hope you will, too. Kyrasdad speaks.

Please stick around, and let's see what a little cheerleading can do for you.

Best wishes.
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  #4   ^
Old Sat, Jan-06-07, 09:53
Azure's Avatar
Azure Azure is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 177
 
Plan: Low carb and clean eating
Stats: 355/277/180 Male 5'11"
BF:
Progress: 45%
Location: Worcester, MA
Default

Thank you for your replies, SidC and Barbara. A lot of my post reflects how depressed I was feeling last night. Though so far I'm doing pretty well low carbing this time around. Granted, it's only been six days. But I've always done well when first starting out. I do well for MONTHS. But then... I don't know what happens. I'll cheat for some stupid reason, and then have the hardest time getting back to low carb. In the past I have never started a journal. I will try that this time and hope it helps.
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  #5   ^
Old Sat, Jan-06-07, 09:59
dhania's Avatar
dhania dhania is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 336
 
Plan: VLKD / paleo
Stats: 230/230/150 Female 176 cm
BF:lots
Progress: 0%
Location: Germany
Default

Hi Azure,

welcome back on track. I know exactly how you feel, I'm in the same boat even if I don't have as many pounds to shed as you. And I know where you come from: giving up trying would mean to give up living... you can do it, I am sure. I can do it.

I wish you a great and successful and healthy new year

dhania
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  #6   ^
Old Sat, Jan-06-07, 11:08
bkloots's Avatar
bkloots bkloots is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 10,147
 
Plan: LC--Atkins
Stats: 195/162/150 Female 62in
BF:
Progress: 73%
Location: Kansas City, MO
Default

It helps me to think of occasional off-plan excursions as "choices" rather than "cheats." Also, I find that using tools to hold myself accountable is very important. I'm very prone to go sailing on De Nile. If I don't look at the scales, it isn't happening. Yeah. Right.

I use Fitday.com (the online version) to track my menus, activities, and goals. Just knowing I have to write it down makes me think before I eat.

Maintenance is reasonably comfortable on Atkins, and it's my new "normal." There are times in life when I give myself permission to go off plan for a while--say, a special vacation. I know that I'll be back on plan (usually with a short period of induction) immediately after that time is over. My regular menu is very low carb, and I don't yo-yo diet.

IMHO, it takes a lot longer to change the state of your mind than the size of your body. Wish you the best.
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  #7   ^
Old Sat, Jan-06-07, 12:19
Azure's Avatar
Azure Azure is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 177
 
Plan: Low carb and clean eating
Stats: 355/277/180 Male 5'11"
BF:
Progress: 45%
Location: Worcester, MA
Default

Yeah, I use Fitday.com as well. Mostly to look up carb counts on foods I'm unsure of. I definitely plan to start a journal as well. But I don't think I will be weighing myself too often. I have one of those scales that technically does not go up to my weight. It only goes up to 300. So I have no clue how accurate it is. My biggest problems are eating breakfast (have to force myself) and drinking enough water. Thank you for all the words of encouragement. I know I have to make this place a daily part of my life.
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  #8   ^
Old Sat, Jan-06-07, 15:06
bkloots's Avatar
bkloots bkloots is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 10,147
 
Plan: LC--Atkins
Stats: 195/162/150 Female 62in
BF:
Progress: 73%
Location: Kansas City, MO
Default

Not everybody insists that breakfast is essential. We all have different body clocks. I'd say eating at regular intervals is more important. And of course, you don't have to eat traditional breakfast foods. That leftover chicken thigh is just fine.

In fact, the latest trendy diet I've read about is called The Reverse Diet. That means eating lamb chops and broccoli in the morning, and Bran Chex at night. Low-carb style, this could work.

Being an annoying morning person myself, I embrace breakfast. Workout first, next the cream cheese and caffeine.

Drink the water.
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  #9   ^
Old Sat, Jan-06-07, 15:17
Azure's Avatar
Azure Azure is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 177
 
Plan: Low carb and clean eating
Stats: 355/277/180 Male 5'11"
BF:
Progress: 45%
Location: Worcester, MA
Default

I'm trying really hard to avoid "lc products". I have this need to eat really natural foods... whatever those are. So far, it's been lots of omlets for breakfast, spinach salads with cucumber, diced turkey breast, havarti dill cheese, and a few spritzes of salad dressing for lunch, and baked salmon or chicken for dinner. I haven't found myself too hungry lately, so I don't snack much. But I try really hard to always have some water with me. And of course, I get a late night craving every single night. Those have been stopped with a tbs of cream cheese with lemon extract and splenda whipped together and then I just savor it on a spoon.
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  #10   ^
Old Sat, Jan-06-07, 15:31
SidC's Avatar
SidC SidC is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,960
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 160/103/115 Female 62 inches
BF:
Progress: 127%
Location: Edmonton, AB Canada
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BKLoots
In fact, the latest trendy diet I've read about is called The Reverse Diet.
Great idea. Azure, why not have whatever LC foods you like most for breakfast? Maybe it would become a treat instead of a chore.

As BKLoots said, regular eating is more important than what you have at any particular meal. You do want to make sure that you don't go without eating for more than six hours while you're up - you don't want to allow yourself to get hungry.

Your menu looks great! Always a good idea to avoid LC products and focus on natural foods.
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  #11   ^
Old Sat, Jan-06-07, 15:38
bkloots's Avatar
bkloots bkloots is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 10,147
 
Plan: LC--Atkins
Stats: 195/162/150 Female 62in
BF:
Progress: 73%
Location: Kansas City, MO
Default

Sounds like you're taking good care of yourself, menu-wise. I don't use low-carb products either. Never have.

I'll have to try that cream cheese snack. Here's an easy recipe for chocolate bark that keeps well in the freezer. I mean, for as long as you can keep your hands off it. The coconut oil is good for you, but the calorie content is not good for me.

Chocolate Bark

4 TBS (1/4 cup) coconut oil
1 or 1.5 TBS cocoa powder
2 oz. chopped nuts (optional)
1/4 tsp. low-carb sweetener such as stevia or xylitol

Chill a metal bakeware pan in the freezer for at least ten minutes. Line it with wax paper. Melt the coconut oil to liquid, stir in the cocoa powder and sweetener. Pour the mixture into the chilled pan and let it spread to desired thickness. Pop it back in the fridge or freezer to harden, then break it into pieces and store in a cold place.

This recipe was on the bitter side to me--I might add a touch of Splenda to the stevia I used last time.

Hmmm. I'm going to go make some of this right now. See what you made me do??

Next stop: The Playoffs
GO CHIEFS
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  #12   ^
Old Sat, Jan-06-07, 15:47
Azure's Avatar
Azure Azure is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 177
 
Plan: Low carb and clean eating
Stats: 355/277/180 Male 5'11"
BF:
Progress: 45%
Location: Worcester, MA
Default

Where do you get your coconut oil? Netrition used to sell it, and I bought some once but never used it. Didn't know what to do with it. Granted, at the time I was also still harboring a hatred for the taste of coconut that I was carrying over from my childhood. I have since discovered I love it.
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  #13   ^
Old Sat, Jan-06-07, 16:22
joylorene's Avatar
joylorene joylorene is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,715
 
Plan: atkins/hcg
Stats: 228/162/135 Female 65
BF:
Progress: 71%
Location: North Dakota
Default

Hey hang in there! We are all in the same boat and we will break free from our obese bodies!! Most of us know the taste of being slim and feeling great and we want that again - sure we fall down but the race is only won by getting back up and continuing!! Take it 1 day at a time that is easier for me and just say I can do this for today and then continue to the next day then pretty soon I'll be 1 yr and we will be sooo much lighter and happier!!! We are here for YOU!!
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  #14   ^
Old Sat, Jan-06-07, 16:32
Azure's Avatar
Azure Azure is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 177
 
Plan: Low carb and clean eating
Stats: 355/277/180 Male 5'11"
BF:
Progress: 45%
Location: Worcester, MA
Default

Thanks joylorene. The support is much appreciated.
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  #15   ^
Old Sat, Jan-06-07, 16:33
bkloots's Avatar
bkloots bkloots is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 10,147
 
Plan: LC--Atkins
Stats: 195/162/150 Female 62in
BF:
Progress: 73%
Location: Kansas City, MO
Default

I just opened a big jar of coconut oil I bought at Wal-Mart. It probably isn't the best quality, because it doesn't have the translucent look of other oils I've bought at the health food store, and it doesn't say "virgin" or "expeller pressed" or other language on the labels of some of the fancier (and way more expensive) types I've bought. It DOES NOT have a coconut smell or taste.

I use it in my flaxseed/wheat bran breakfast cereal, and flaxseed muffins. I've tried it in coffee, where it gives a texture much like cream, and makes your lips greasy--call it a winter moisturizer.
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