and its at 11:00 the 15th of november, people are telling me Im a lycky little thing to get a doc so quick. Im very happy...but! they want me to the all the testa all over and I notised that they missed out on several important thing (relating to PCOS, hypo, hashimotos), like prestrogen, insulin resistance and antibodys!

I called the hospital and asked if I shouldnt get this checked out and the nurse (or lab woman) said that I would just have to take that up with the doctor when Im there. That meansthat it will take much more time to get this done.

Im now weighing 170 pounds... OMG, I gained 5 by overeating (2000-2400 calories) for a few days and 3 more pounds just because I spent one day at the gym, I hope its just water retention! Atkins ang LC is really not working for me, its not about the food for me at all. Im not hungry but its just too little amount of food on so many calories and the diet is so strict about everything so that is just stressingme out and Im just too sick and tired to care. Im all messed up, I got issues with.. well, with myself. Soo, I desided to eat less fat and more low GI carbs to controll my calorie intake and its kinda working, I feel much more 'normal' in how I eat and I feel like have more energy (on less calories, 1800-2000)....BUT, it was after that I gained all that weight, Im now notesing the hypo cold (cold cold toes) and I have had a very bloated stomac and a bad case of the runs with eating all them lentins, peas and beans. I dont know what to do now.. Im much happier eating this way, I feel better, have much more controll of my calories but Im gaining weight!! Could it be because of the water retention after that day at the gym? Im just gonna keep going to the gym and not weigh myself for a week, b/c I know that I have it very eisely to build and shape so I just wanna focus on what I CAN do and not what I cant!

I just want to lose this weight and relax. Oooh, that word... relax. I want to stop rejecting people, I want to feel more motivation, feel happy, have something else to talk about (not just allways about my misserires) b/c... well, thats why I end up isolating myself, nobody likes a missary. I guess Ill just have to really reduce my calories to se ant results, but Im so scared that Im just going to get even more depressed and cranky... also that I will be very disapointed if I dont se any weightloss.

Stats: 140 pound in may/170 pound now/120 as the goal.