Wow, what a lovely and encouraging set of replies, thank you very much, it's genuinely appreciated.
To be a bit morbid for a short while...I can't tell you the massive boost to my confidence this diet has generated in me again already. After experiencing too many years of 'hating myself' and becoming reclusive, because of how people who knew me previously show their 'disbelief' with how much weight I've continued to pile on, since 2011 when I ended my Ketogenic diet last time. And I'm sure Grav as a bloke can verify, while women are more subtle and understanding, men just come out and say it straight! Bloody hell Tim, you fat b**steward, Or singing, "Who ate all the pies" etc. etc. And it hurts like hell.
I used to cope by being the comedian of the group, the 'fun bloke' the 'life and soul,' even though, I only wanted the floor to open up and swallow me, to just take me away from those much slimmer friends.
And I won't even mention how, as a man, how devastating it is to your body hatred and 'performance' in the bedroom. I constantly worried whether my '7 years younger' wife, would want to stay with me because of it.
Most of you that have been classed as 'morbidly obese' can perhaps relate to those feelings of shame and total embarrassment. Because I must be a 'lazy loser' right, to allow myself to get into the weight/state I did!?
It didn't matter that I was building an excellent reputation throughout my agency area, as a most successful foster carer, it didn't matter that, I was starting to build a exciting construction business that promised to generate the secure retirement income I wanted, to help safeguard my family's future. I was as 'fat as hell' and so...was a complete and utter failure!
Nothing, I realised gave me solace! Nothing could make me 'happy!'
Why couldn't I do anything about it? Sincerely, I don't know? I've asked myself that question 1001 times over the years. I think it was down to making 'starts' to a diet, then a 'family birthday,' or a Family holiday, or Christmas, or whatever...would come along and rob me of my motivation and each time I failed to lose the weight, it simply compounded my emotional despair!
So in the end, to protect myself from re-inforcing my belief that indeed, I was just a 'cowardly loser,' I wouldn't even start another diet.
Indian or Chinese tonight everyone?
Anyway, let's hope those desperate emotions are now to be confined to my past. Yes, I've only lost 25lbs, but each pound I lose, helps put me into a position that could reverse my recent diabetes diagnosis. I think the diagnosis was like an icy bucket of cold water poured all over my complacency. Having reached that very low point for me, it was time to 'get myself sorted!'
And so, here I am, fighting the good fight, with all you splendid soldiers fighting alongside me...how can I possibly fail this time!? Don't worry, I won't!
Sorry folks, I just needed to unload that, losing weight is not just confined to the physical, it impacts equally on the emotions too I feel.
So thank you Susky2, BevAngel, and as always, Janet and Grav too. Joining this forum has been a major help, I'll have to start reading other people's success (or struggle) stories, and offer support to them too.