Hi all.



Im getting married in 76 days.

Last year I put on around 21lbs due to depression and the meds I was on, making me around 11st 10lbs. Not huge to a lot of people but at 5" 3' it really shows and I look huge.

I have a huge sack of fat on my tummy that hangs on my legs when I sit down. I cant wear anything other than leggings cos as soon as I sit down it just spills over the top, even my bigger sizes which fit create this awful effect. The leggings however are just as unflattering and truly show how disgusting my shape is.

I had 3 kids in 6 years and was only ever close to 12st at the end of each of my pregnancies, which was all more or less burned off and down to 9 and a half - 10 stone within 12 weeks due to breastfeeding.

Im in tears all the time. I dont want to go out anywhere. Today I ventured out with the kids, h2b and step son to a family fun day. Uploading the photos to Facebook has left me in a serious mess, I look horrible.

All I can think is: fatty fat fat gross disgusting vile fat.

I know its ridiculous and makes no sense, I have never ever in my 27 years felt like this about myself. My close friend is constantly telling me that I am not as big as I think I am but I just dont believe her and to me, photos only prove it.

The thing that makes it worse is the fact that I am now and have been for weeks now, eating the right things. I lose a few lbs, I gain a few lbs. Im not going off track. Im not cheating. I dont drink alcohol. Its absolutely baffling me and just crippling me. At the point now where I want to post pone the wedding because I cannot imagine being this weight on my special day and having to look at photos of an uncomfortable, tank sized me forever.

I apologise for the rambling but I just had to get this off my chest.