Hi. My name is Jennifer and I'm a carboholic.

I've been unhappy with the way I feel since I was 16 years old. I've also used sugar as a drug for most of that time. About a year ago I cut out overt sugars, but still used honey and other things to self-medicate. I was diagnosed with an endocrine disorder and had surgery in January to correct the problem. Following the surgery I was very strict about what I ate and managed to stay in a pretty good mood.

About a month ago I let my guard down. Sushi, noodles, pasta of all kinds, bread, and even again with the "naturally-sweetened" things entered my diet. I decided I "deserved" peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Soon I was living to eat instead of the other way around.

I caught on to this trend due to the way my mood has plummeted in the last few weeks. I have become extremely sensitive to noises and other distractions and I hurt "inside." Everything seems hopeless, I am surrounded by this ocean of hopelessness and despair.

Yesterday I got back on the WOE in earnest. Today is my second day. This morning I felt a little better but this evening I feel terrible. I cried all the way home from the grocery store, for absolutely no reason that I could rationalize, except that I felt so bad.

I have taken Prozac and Celexa in the past and I suppose I will take them again if this feeling doesn't lift. I really want to believe it will as a result of an improved diet. This morning I had dreams full of sadness and chocolate cake. I am afraid I am broken, permanently.

Any consolation from others would be welcome, or similar stories of pain and (maybe) recovery.

Jenn

I truly beleive moods ARE tied somewhat more than people normally think to the food we eat. The food controls us. Some of the food we may even be allergic to that we crave - we just aren't seeing that crave as adverse reaction. Sugar/flour. etc are just bad drugs, wanting us to come play on their side of the track.

Hwn I hear myself think " I DESERVE A COOKIE!" I've taught myself to immediately throw a red flag, because I deserve to be happy and healhty too. Eating that cookie will taste good for the 5 seconds it is on my lips, but then brings the despair.

So now when I raise the red flag, I go through the motions that I have found work for me. Try a few, and add/subtract a few - see what fits you best:

Why do I NEED this?
Will I die without it?
WIll it suddenly make me rich and thin?

What will I get if I don't eat that?
How will I feel tomorrow?
What would the scale say?

Make your own up for yourself. THis has worked well for me. Not perfect... depends on how ticked off I am. But it is the best thing I have found so far.

Hi Jennifer! I'm Jennifer too! I'm responding because I can relate to the depression. Unfortunately I don't have any real answer's because I just started this myself. I have noticed some difference in my moods when I stay off the carbs but for me it is too soon to tell. I have struggled with what I believe to be manic depression since my teenage years. I only recognized the symptoms a few years ago. I am not surprised by it as it tends to run in the family. Unfortunately I havn't been proffesionally diagnosed as hubby won't pay for me to see a psychiatrist. He says they are all quacks. It is difficult for me. I often suffer from the crying spells like you described. And then I feel guilty about it because I know there is no logical reason....on top of it I have to try and hide them from my two children. I don't want them exposed to that and I don't think they would understand. I know I am a sugar addict and insulin resistant as well. I am hoping that this wol will help with all this. I wish you the best of luck and will keep in touch to see what results are! God bless honey! Jennifer

Sorry, but "hubby won't pay" rather jumps off the page. You have children; I assume you have an OB or at least a family doctor, both of whom can almost certainly diagnose or at very least refer you to additional help. Don't tell him why you're going. Bipolar disorder can be fatal; it is medical, and pretty objectively diagnosable, esp. with a family history. You deserve treatment and you need to get it for yourself, regardless of what hubby thinks. Bet you said, "in sickness and in health, right?"

And as for the original post, you're probably feeling way better by now if you've stuck to the LC WOE, and no, you are not permanently broken. Human bodies have amazing powers of recovery, when we simply give them what they need.