I'm just venting here, hoping writing down my thoughts will help me ward off these unconquerable cravings.

My boyfriend's friends are down for the weekend, they are a couple and very nice, etc. The thing that bothers me most, though, is that when they come down, the couple is allowed to go out together with my boyfriend, they go to eat, shopping, etc....but I'm almost never invited. They usually set aside maybe two hours of the whole weekend that I call "pity time" where they seem to reluctantly "allow" me to come with them. I wish my boyfriend would stick up for me and at least give me the option to go! I could certainly use a break from this last week: three papers for college were due, other homework, raising a 5 year old with special needs, and my bedroom flooded this week causing me to have to move everything out of the bedroom and clean the carpets.

That, and I'm on my TOM so my stress level is through the roof right now. I haven't been on plan since Tuesday...stress eating got the best of me. I've had those creeping thoughts that I should just start over after Valentine's day but I'm not sure I want to put it off. The hardest thing is, the eating really *does* make me feel better, and I don't feel guilty for it. Would be easier to avoid if I hated myself after.

Anyway, just needed to get that out. Thanks for listening.

Heck, I'd be wanting something to make me feel better, too!

But in all our lives, there's always "something" that seems worth postponing a difficult task for. The thing is, I'm sure it does make you feel better... but how many times have you reached for this solution?

And where are you now?

This post actually makes me sad for you.
I hope you are feeling better....

I guess my concern is more of why you are uninvited?
For me....I love nothing more than hanging with my bf and his friends....and if I were uninvited or left out....our relationship would probably not work.

I could see if it were a single guy and they were going to play paintball...
But a couple?
This should be time for you BOTH to spend together.

It sounds like you have alot going on...
Life throws us loops sometimes...
Maybe you need to bring it up to him and say Hey buddy....I need you to include me...this hurts.

Good luck!

This is really sad and I certainly wouldn't call them nice and neither is the boyfriend if he allows it to happen.I also wouldn't be going out with them during pity time either.Please don't waste your life or your time with these people.

Your boy friend should tell the couple that if you are not included that he doesn't feel comfortable going with them.You are suppose to be the love of his life and why would he want to go out with out you.I suffered through something like this for a couple of years.I learned my lesson after awhile.

If they do like you then could it be that they would not want you or are concerned that you would bring your 5 year old along?

If your boyfriend isn't including you, you should plan fun things for you to do without him. Not for "revenge" but just so you are doing something you want, too. Don't expect other people to make you feel good about yourself. If you feel neglected and want a little time out, what's stopping you? Make a plan and go!

I'm not really sure why, honestly. I went out with them for an hour tonight. I told them I didn't have money to go anyplace but they wanted to go out to eat anyway. Then when we get to the place, I just got the feeling that they were there out of some sort of obligation. Like "lets just get it over with." I admit, I stress ate. It was the only thing that kept me from crying right there. I ate fries and bread on my sandwich. I should have just ordered coffee.

I really want to get back on track. I have a feeling that it will be hard until my TOM is over. I've heard the extra estrogen released when you burn fat can mess with your emotions for awhile, but this seems extreme.

Thank you all for replying and for all future replies. It helps so much!

I might be saying this because I am a very independent person. I'm one of those people that can't be around my boyfriend for an extended period of time. It comes to a point where I need my "me time."

So here goes:
You feel like any time your boyfriend's friends include you, it's pity time. Just tell them that you're busy. Later on, tell him what you said on the forum. Tell him that you don't feel welcomed in his circle of friends. Don't set up any expectations as far as what he might do for you after you tell him. What you're getting out of this conversation is a record of you telling him what's going on.

Next time this happens, he can't help but remember how you feel about the arrangement. And when they grudgingly ask you to go out and eat for a couple of hours, just tell them that you don't want to go out... that you'd rather be doing (whatever it is that sounds more appealing).

Main point: if you feel uncomfortable and unwanted around them, choose not to be with them. There is no reason to go out of obligation.