it has been a long hard road getting here....and to be honest i dont like it that I have this cluster of symotoms...which is all PCOS is at this point---medically speaking; but its diagnosis has given me a new lease on life.
i have spent my whole life trying to figure out why cant i just eat like everyone else.....and look like everyone else.......sure i dont excerize every day for hours nor do i eat tofu and bean sprouts but come on who the hell does....mostly everyone in my life who is in shape eats reasonably and excerizes reasonably but me....no.....the only way for me to make even a dent in the scale is to whip out the big guns....this fustrated me and in all honesty detered me from putting forth real effore to make the changes i wanted. i wanted to be able to eat reasonably and excerize reasonably and get in shape but that doesnt work for me, never did, and i just never found it in myself to do what it took for long enough to acheive real long term weight loss. anyway...ive always been self destructive becasue i didnt acheive what i wanted how i wanted it so i would give up....now for some reason....i see light with this diagnosis.....
at this point i am just pleased i have finally found some medical explination....all my life i thought i was a glutton losing my mind...the PCOS makes perfect sence, and now that i am being treated (1500 metformin) my hair is not so thin, the hunger is managable...LC isnt so difficult to stick to and most importantly i feel like there is hope...for some strange reason before getting diagnosed i felt like walls kept coming up out of nowhere and smacking me in the face....i'd go to the doctor because of hair loss, depression, inability to lose weight, fatigue...the list could go on, yet everything was ok....even my thyroid was ok which was odd casue i have nodules that sometimes cause fluctations so if anything was causing all these symptoms it had to be my wacky thyroid........but each test was fine, and i felt worse and worse...the symptoms were there, my hair was falling out for crying out loud but the drs were telling me im fine...then came the personal questions....well that was it... once i started crying...showing any emotion... they were convinced it was depression and didnt want to look further. yes, i was depressed...but there was more to it. Im not going to harp on it anymore, i'm just going to appericate my endocronologist, who pushed me to come off my birth control pills and get diagnosed...if not for her push and willingness to stick with me, as i am a difficult patient (i am a know it all... computers can be a dangerous place to find medical advise) i got the diagnosis and more importantly i would never have made the commitment to live my life in a way condusive to a person with PCOS. See, now I know I am not like every one else....before i thought I was, but I just liked food too much and excerize too little....now i see it is more than that. not to negate personal responsibility....i did over eat....and bad things at that, and i did not excerize enough in my life... but the beauty here is its not too late to make corrections. I feel like i have found my inner che....im not fighting myself anymore. I know what needs to be done and i am willing to do it.
Sorry for being gone so long guys......i just wanted to share this with you all....with hopes that if you are experiencing the same you will see it through casue there is hope and help!
feel free to hit me up on my journal if you want to chat
lots of luck and love this holiday season.....try your best to stick to your food plan....who needs guilt for over spending and over eating