what am I afraid of that I seem to sabotage myself? Am i afraid of reaching a real goal? Any Goal?? You see I have been doing so well and first two weeks ago had a infection and went through two weeks of antibiotics and then after that three days later Strep Throat and WHAM, another round of the antibiotics. Needless to say feeling bad has always been my key to getting confort food, but I was so sure I had the carbs. and sugar under control. WRONG AGAIN. I am going to have to start all over again on the Atkins Introduction diet which I will no doubt be on for quite some time. Yes, I feel like a failure, Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself and Yes, I really do want to get down to 190 pounds. So what is holding me back. It is not my husband he is very supportive in all things I do, I even have a friend who is also doing the Atkins with me. So what is my problem. HELP !!! joan

HI joan,

thankyou so much for your kind thoughts in your reply to my post. I do hope you are feeling better.

You are lucky to have a husband who supports you. Mine thinks I'm killing myself! His way is lowfat, or no way.

I am looking forward to spring and maybe some new clothes. You are so right, we can do this I am feeling much stronger now that I've come here. How about you?

Ok, I am going to put my kids to bed and drink a truckload of water to try and wash away all those carbs I ate!

Goodnite,

cimart

joan, you're really the only one who has the answers to those "why" questions.

Go to your library and check out some books on binge eating, take them home, browse until you figure out which one speaks to you, and go through and do the exercises.

If you eat the carb trigger foods once a week, you end up making this a whole lot harder than it needs to be--not only will your loss slow, not only will ketosis not get a chance to settle in and give you the gift of loss of appetite, but you'll keep the cravings right there, just a millimeter under the surface.
I've read a stat about alcholics--I forget the number exactly--but the typical successful recovering alcoholic has had to take several stabs (4? 6?) at sobriety before it sticks. I suppose part of that experience is appreciating just how dangerous our own addictive drug is.

keep plugging away--try the self-help books first, and if that doesn't help, try OA or an eating disorders therapist. Best of luck to you!

Dear Razzle, HOW RIGHT YOU ARE. I do have to work this out and I am the only one that knows the answer. However, I do like the ideal of going to the Library and checking out some books maybe it will help. Thanks for your reply joan

Dear Cimart, thanks for the words of encouragement. I do not know why I want to make this so hard to do, it is really a simple thing, stay away from sweets and white flour and I do feel so much better. Maybe I don't like feeling better, NOT!!! Hang in there with me we can do this together. Joan

Hi there,

Since it's been mentioned quite a few times here about books on binge eating, a friend recommended one to me called "Overcoming Overeating". It's supposed to be very good.

Tam

Dear Tam, it is funny you would mention Overeaters, I went to Overeaters Annoynmous back in the '80 and lost 100 pounds on that and it was from giving up the sugar and the white flour. So I know it can be done. Thanks for the word on the book. Joan

Joan, I believe one thing about the binge eating cycle - I think that it has a lot to do with how you feel you fit into your life. I find that there is a certain comfort in being overweight. I always have been, so I don't know any other way. I am single, and being overweight, I can attribute my lack of dating prospects to that (I don't want to think that its my personality, what if people don't like me anyway - these things always flash through your mind).

Another weird thing happened to me when I lost a lot of weight three tyears ago - people were really impressed. I mean stunned and I would hear one compliment after another. But strangely, I did not feel pride in the accomplishment. Instead, I felt hurt by that - I mean, was I that hideously repulsive before? And so the self-sabotage began.

I know that seems silly now when we are trying to lose, but that's part of the pathology, I think. We can hide ourselves behind the weight and no one is going to comment about our physical appearance when we are overweight. It becomes easy to just eat what you want and blame all of your problems on the fact that you are overweight. What a vicious circle! That is why I think that the people in this forum have it right - we have to look at this from a health perspective and a way of life. When I have a powerful craving, I try to remember how overful and awful I felt when i went to bed after a crazy binge, how my heart seemed to race all the time and how lousy I was sleeping. These are real memories and not just a fantasy future of thinness, so I find they help.

Good Luck, Lisa

You know Lisa, I think you may be on to something there. Even at one time when I lost 100 pounds even tho my clothes were several sizes smaller and I did feel better, I still saw the 300+ pound woman in the mirrow. I have also been overweight my entire life and my husband (bless his heart) tells me he loves me no matter how large or small I am. I do not think he will ever have to worry about the small part,haha. Anyway all new diets I have gone on my Mother always adds, "WELL DON'T THROW OR GIVE AWAY YOUR BIG CLOTHES 'CAUSE YOU WILL BE BACK IN THEM BEFORE YOU KNOW IT'', Mothers you gotta love them. Anyway thank you so much for your reply and I bet you have a great personality as for myself I think sometimes I do feel protected by my overweightness, strange. Joan

Hey guys,

The stuff about weight being a protective thing rings all too true. I've been heavy my whole life, and being 5'4 and 250lbs has done wonders for my love life...its made it not an issue. But yet, I've just let myself stay big instead of working at it. Part of that is the fact that I don't look as heavy as I am, so I comfort myself with that, and also even though I'm heavy and its taken me a long time, I've learned to love my body. I've finally learned that I am Ivory at 100lbs, 150lbs 250lbs or 450lbs(although I'm not testing this part of the theory out!), and I love my body, its beautiful in a soft sensual way, at least thats how I think, and maybe no one agrees with me, but I think that way...But Now I've decided that since I'm only 20 and the weight will affect my health and its not going to get easier to lose it as I get older, that now is the time. Also, while it isn't the sole reason, I wouldn't mind getting some attention from the opposite sex

Ivory, that was beautiful what you have written. I know how much happier would be if I could accept my body and you'd think after almost 50 years with this body I could do that. You know I would just like to be able to fit in the clothes that hang in my closet and be able to breath. Maybe I will get it right. Ivory, you are right to lose the weight in your 20's because take it from one who knows it does not get easier with age. hang in there Joan

Beleive me! It took me a long time to accept myself. During my early teenage years, I battled a lot with self esteem issues. But at about 17, I just all of a sudden realized that I'm not horrible looking. I started dressing to accentuate the right curves, to look attractive without having to be a belly-bearing britney spears. I also realized that no matter what happened I was still me.

I still battle with self confidence when it comes to men. For example, I'm interested in a guy with whom I'm friends. I want so badly to tell him, and I'm sure I will, but I am prepared for him to say no...which I will AUTOMATICALLY attribute to my body whether it is actually the reason or not.

Hey Ivory, as I was reading your reply I was hit in the face with your "Guy Friend", issue. It made me think of just how many times through out my life that I told guys how I felt wanting so badly them to feel the same way. Instead I got the ''I LOVE YOU LIKE A SISTER'' thing or ''YOU'RE LIKE ONE OF US GUYS'', so I also always felt unloveable and for the most part could never figure out why I hung onto my weight. I married the first time just because I was 30 years old and never figured I'd get another offer, which was a hugh mistake to say the least. Anyway I continue to struggle with my weight issues and anytime something goes wrong in my life I must say I still know it is because of my weight. I thank you for your reply and wish you the best . Joan

I definetly know the "you're just like a sister" thing, I'm the one everyone comes to for advice and help...its kind of annoying sometimes! But ah well...

As a little update to my man troubles...I called this guy friend and asked if he wanted to go catch a movie last night, no problem, we go, and we go to say goodnight(we had to go seperate ways to catch different buses) anyway I hug him goodnight and I walked away, and I was about 4 steps from him and I almost turned around and ran to him to tell him how I felt, but I TOTALLY chickened out! I couldn't beleive it! I was SOOOOOOO mad at myself last night! I mean its not like I'll never have an oppurtunity again, but I was still mad I let the moment pass me by! Anyway but to find the silver lining, I DIDN'T cheat last night, which was good because I am an emotional eater...So I channelled my emotions and just drank and extra litre of water! lol

I am so happy to find that I am not the only one who sometimes feels afraid to be thin. I have never been thin. I can't see a thin me because I haven't got a clue of what she looks like. It is hard to reach for just a number. I really wish I could have some kind of clue of what I will look like when I reach my goal weight. I don't think I have been 160 or below since early teens... maybe before then. I remember growing up thinking about the thin girls. The nasty cruel ones tend to stick out in my mind but I know there were nice ones too. I have many bad associations with "thin". I am sure I will overcome them though. I have decided on LC as my new WOE. I will not leave it so what happens, happens. Hopefully, I will learn to see thin as good and safe and happy.

H