....

This is going to be really rambly and stuff, and sorry in advance for reading this, but it relates to Atkins.... so well... anyway.



Since I decided to get my life totally back together, which included losing weight, getting healthy, and getting my dream job, I have found that how I see myself has changed.

I guess it is because in many ways I have. I used to be rather insecure actually - thinking that ppl were pointing at me because I was fat, or knowing that if someone honked their horn it wouldn't be for me. So yes, huge self esteem problems. This steemed out of the disollution of my previous relationship just before I was to get married after a miscarriage.

Anyway, I went to my Doctor, he gave me Atkins....

Now, something strange has happened. From exercising all the time I feel better about myself. From losing weight I feel better about myself, and know that I can do anything. I have just got my dream job - I am feeling so confident and wonderful - I am on top of the world..... but the man.... he still sees me as the same person I was pre-Atkins. While I am still well above healthy weight, he still just says I am fat. eg. I recently went to a team sport muck around day to meet some people. And afterwards, my boyfriend said that he didn't want to come with me to this again because he was embarassed of me - because I was like a "blue ball of lard."

I have to admit, that at many times he has been very encouraging of my life changing efforts, but recently, as he has seen me get my dreams, and really be in control, he hasn't liked it, and I think he feels threatened. He has recently been bringing food he know I can't eat into the house, and offering it to me, wanting to go to places that has little I can eat, and just well, has been a right bastard about Atkins.

I feel pretty bad because I have walked away in the good times, while he was with me in the bad, but on some deeper level, I think he liked it when it was bad for me.

I always believed Atkins would change my life - my doctor even told me so - but I didn't think it would do on so many levels. I know I wouldn't have the blind determination to have got my dream job with my dream company if I didn't feel so great about myself - and feeling great about myself has come from all aspects of Atkins.... The exercise, the great food, and as a result of the first two, the weight loss.

Anyway - ramble off. Just needed to say it to ppl who I hope will understand a little better than my friends.

Fancy a man threatened by a diet. Sheesh.

Atkins with the first best thing you did for yourself..

Kicking his fat head to the curb was the second!!


YOU GO GIRL!!!!!

hugs....cin

Hi matey,

Just want to lend you my support.

I know ending a relationship is never as easy as it sounds. But you know you have done the right thing. Fancy referring to you as a "blue ball of lard!" I'd have been sharpening the carving knife!

Well done on being so strong!



Rozzie

Hey forget him!

Basically your partner has to be someone who will be happy when you are! Their base purpose is to make you happy, otherwise why are you with them!?

Maybe over simplyfied (is that a word???) but I think you know what I mean. Some people need that control over others, some people need someone who they think are less, so they may feel better about themselves!

You need to be with someone who will make you happy and be supportive of you no matter what! And hey, you're getting a new body now, so think of all the new oppurtunities with guys now!!!

Hi there,
You did a very good thing for yourself, I applaud you!
I was married to a man who put me down because I was fat.
He called me a bush pig and even hid me away when friends came over so they wouldn't see the misses, as fat and unappealing as she was.
I have 4 daughters I am 33 and was married for 12 years.
As soon as I decided that I was ready to change my life everything started to come undone.
I was going out (to do sport) and I was losing weight very fast because I was happy with my life. Everything was easier for me.
He still called me fat because he had nothing better to come back at me with.. and he knew that would get at me more than anything else.
When I was into my size 10 jeans, all of a sudden he wanted to cuddle up and show me off to the mates.. talk about a shallow son of a bitch! He also started listening in when I was on the phone because he was convinced my daily walks were a coverup for an affair or two! Maybe he knew the end was near if he didn't do some fancy steppin' and soon!
The contrast was such a wakeup call. I told him it was over and asked him to leave. I am now a single mum to 4 wonderful girls and although it is hard sometimes I am so happy that I do not have a man, or anyone else for that matter, trying to make my life anything other than I want it to be.. happy and rewarding.
A marriage is supposed to be one of partnership and love.. I had neither and I know his treatment helped me to get to 118kg (after having his kids) but it was me who got myself to 72kg and I think that is a message to anyone putting up with a partner who is anything but supportive.. don't.
I just had to respond to your post and let you know that you did good mate.. all the best to you from now on!
Kelly

BRAVO KELLY!

Came here feeling a bit blah and feeling bad for him, and then I read your post and I said - DAMNIT GIRL!

Thankyou Kelly for sharing and giving me strength and everyone else for being wonderful!

Thanks for the flowers Rose!

Luv

Rey

Reymi

This will be the easiest weight you ever lost .... 160 or so pounds of useless flesh.... dump him quick!!

A man that will abuse you like that will do it whatever you weigh. If he can't find fault with your weight, he will find it with something else.

There are great guys out there - don't settle for less!

I couldn't agree more with Hunney!

You did the right thing. Once all of your weight was off, he would have found something else to "control" you with. It's that constant "you must change to please me or I won't give you all of my love" headset that should be a HUGE warning to us all.

If a man or woman can't accept you for who you are, then they are not a true friend.

We all deserve someone in our lives that is a partner. Not someone who's love we have to "win" somehow.

I've learned my own lesson. Single mom of a beautiful girl about to turn 3. I am grateful for all that I have and all that I don't (namely a bf that blames my weight on everything, including his cheating! )

Once you've learned a lesson, you're not doomed to repeat it.

Good for you!

Alena.

Boy, oh boy. Talk about sabotage. Why do people do this?

Maybe one way of looking at this situation is to see you at crossroads. You are a very different person, perhaps going in one direction, and the BF who doesn't want you to take off and move way ahead, takes the other road.

You have gained back your self esteem. God knows it is so hard to hang on to. Keep it and move forward. Contro,, which this sounds like, is not healthy.

You may just close one door to have another open and your ideal make is there. Love is meant to be unconditional. That is, each bring 100% to the relationship and don't try to change or judge the other.

The best of luck.
Dale

I'd like to share something from the first page of my journal:

As usual I agree with Alena (and it would appear, some other wise folks here.) Your ex is insecure, and just like with my ex-husband, anything you did to meet his standards would only cause him to raise the bar.

You did the right thing. We know you know that, but we also know it helps to hear it!

Things can only improve after self-investigation and life-changing decisions. In my case, my two kids are doing well overall, and I've just become engaged to a wonderful, caring man.

Try not to doubt yourself ... you're doing great!

rhu