Starting a new job and just filled out the health insurance forms.
I was in shock to find attached a height and weight chart.
If I weighed over what they deemed appropriate for my height I would have to pay 25% more for health coverage than other people This was the first I ever heard of such a thing and it rather outraged me to think these people were going to be constantly monitoring my weight as long as I am in their employ!
To me this shouldn't even be legal
You may look at my stats and say ...So What's She Worried About,
but believe me, my size now does not come naturally, it is and always has been a constant battle. If I wasn't trying to lose because of a fat-phobic father, it was because of a fat-phobic first husband, then I became fat-phobic. My NDH I know would be with me know matter what my weight but now I have fat-phobic employers. How can one ever truly be free of the fat consciousness of other people?
greentea

Isabel, I am SOOO there. And don't often understand it. I in no way see myself as heavy as I am. I get weirded out when the scale gets over 200, but I do not see myself realistically. I once told a dear friend even though she weighed less the shape of our butts made hers look bigger! WHAT WAS I THINKING!? Anyway...I doubt there are studies, as we are largely (no pun intended) invisible. And I wonder how to re focus and find reality. Will go back and read the rest of the thread and hope there are some thoughts there, or forthcoming.

Jo

Yes, our "mind's eye" is a tricky thing. I have many items of clothing that I just held up in the store and decided, yeah - that looks plenty big enough for me! (Did not try on because am phobic about changing rooms - isn't it funny how their lights and mirrors make you look bigger than you really are? haha) Bring item home, try it on, WAY, WAY TOO SMALL, too embarrassed to return. Hmmmmm. I am always SO surprised at how large I am if someone takes a picture of me (I don't let that happen often - there is a good reason I am the official family photographer...) Very sad. I have very few pix of myself with my children and my dh.

I am soooo glad I found this post because I was wanting to do some venting about all these posts I have been seeing about ppl who are under 120# and are saying I AM SOOOOOOO FAT!Perhaps if these ppl would do some toning, they would find themselves shrinking without dieting. Now don't get me wrong, I think LC w/o/e is a good one for anyone, and I am not advocating not using it. I think for some of these ppl thi,it is definitely a distorted body image... the majority of society uses slender/skinny to push products,advertise, most general media is geared to the skin and bones look. (note I didn't say ALL, but most is). I know my body image is screwed up, when I weighed 110-115# when I was a teenager, I thought that I was fat! I think a lot of it on my part comes from growing up with a diet-obsessed mother, and she was overweight, but she was always on one diet or another,always too big... what kind of role model is that? We have a gorgeous daughter,KaeLyn who will be 1 year old next week. I am feeding her a balanced diet, but not very many sweets at all... Hubby made a comment because she has a little tummy on her... we don't want her fat, or have weight problems like we do... oh brother.. babies do have fat... and she is active enough where that little tummy is disappearing...I want my daughter to be healthy, and I do not obsess about losing weight, or rant about it, nor will I. I am losing it, I am shrinking slowly but surely... I think that distorted body image affects both the underweight and the obese. I avoided mirrors and reflections of myself, and having pictures taken... it was a real wakeup call to see some of them. When I was pregnant I was big enough before, but when I grew due to the pregnancy.. I WAS HUGE! There is no nice way to say it..I would be in tears when I would see pictures of myself, and cry because I thought that I was sooooo ugly! My hubby was wonderful about it,he reassured me that he loved me,& I was beautiful to him. One of these days, I hope to see myself as beautiful, but for now... the best I can do is accept this is who I am right now, and I am doing something to achieve my goal and on my way to a smaller me~

I've learned a valuable thing (or 2 or 2000) from this board (from Kristine, I think): sometimes people don't want to mention body parts or types or weights because they don't want to be offensive. Of course, there's no accounting for every single person, but perhaps that's why some people don't comment on weight - especially if the person is "morbidly obese." People may just assume you are touchy about it. Same thing might be said for handicapped people. They don't get much recognition from strangers, et. al, because people are just plain uncomfortable with them. Mummy always said don't stare , you know? So now we're all supposed to just be quiet about it. bah.

I think that most of us on these boards would agree with you that we didn't/don't have a realistic handle on what we really look like. Someone talked about walking in front of an elevator -- Man! Can I relate to that! I often wonder if I will ever, ever, ever be satisfied with my body, even after I get to my target. It's awful how we can know we're fat when we're fat, but then when we lose the fat, we have a hard time shedding the mentality.

At any rate, chin up! my friend. You are losing weight for YOU - the inside you, not the person you see in the mirror or the people who are too afraid to mention it to you or anyone else. Just you. It's your internal satisfaction that matters more than anything else right now. Although, let's not deny it, nice comments always help - A LOT!

I wonder if you thought of taking progress pictures of yourself as evidence that you continue to look better. Even if people don't mention it, as you continue to lose, you'll have the pictures that can't talk and don't lie!

Best wishes to you. Another thing I've learned since I started LC: You can always come here for a nice pick-me-up whenever you need it.

My stats don't reflect it but I was 5'3" and over 260 lbs about 9 years ago. I lost over 70lbs of that with much exercise and a low fat low calorie diet. It was the hardest thing I ever did. I didn't put it down in my profile because it doesn't reflect the me that is now. The me that spent the last 8 years fighting and starving and yo yoing to stay where I was 3 weeks ago.

Anyway, I'm just letting you know this because I have felt the combination of things some of you have experienced.

I used to feel good about myself and my appearance until I would walk in front of a full length window OR stepping on a scale and realizing that how I feel can't equal THAT. That is why I bought my first scale in 8 years, yesterday (it used to make me cry everytime because I had to realize the truth of who I am to the outside world). That is why I didn't have a full length mirror in the house until I got married and he had them. I spent 10 years only looking from the neck up.

Anyway I talk to a woman at work here who weighs about what I weighed and she can't understand my plight. She told me I need a cheesecake and a psychiatrist. LOL She thinks if she was down to my weight she would be prancing around... to tell you the truth, 8 years ago I was prancing around.

I don't know what changed in me that I was once so proud of my accomplishment and I thought I looked so good and now ... simply I don't.

Self Image distortions!

I also am glad to have found this thread. My body image has been completely out of whack my entire life. My father's third wife was a nasty woman----I lived with them from 4th grade until I graduated high school. She was a trophy wife---5'4" 112 blonde and very beautiful. I was an early bloomer--had breasts in 3rd grade and I was so self consious about my body. She had me on diets from day one---forced me to eat salads EVERY DAY for lunches at school. So I learned to eat for comfort and rebellion. It wasn't until I left home for college at a size 8 and got my first job that I had any sort of realistic input about my body. My company had discounted massages as a perk; the massage therapist was shocked at my body size because I always wore very large and baggy clothes to hide my size and breasts. I can remember her saying, "My god, Tricia, you need to re-think your fashion options because I never would have guessed by your dress that you were this small". HUH? Well, now it's swung in the opposite direction. At 210 pounds I never felt larger than a 12. Of course the tag on the clothes said something very different, but in my mind' eye I was about 160. Getting a hold on this has been a really cathartic process that no-one in my immediate circle of friends/family can comprehend. Yet one more reason I love this forum. Thanks to you all!

I must say I don't agree with Orchid day.

I am fat. I have always been fat. I am a carbohydrate addict. I have a slow metabolism. There are plenty of fat people that eat a lot less than smaller people. If you read the thread from the beginning you would have "heard" the comments.

Also your friend that is 400 pounds and eats constantly. That is a classic sign of the carbohydrate addict. The more carbs you eat, the more your insulin rises, the hungrier you get, the more carbs you crave, the more carbs you eat, the less they satisfy you, the more your insulin rises, the hungrier you get, etc.

Point your friend to CAD. It would be the best thing you could do for her.

Also there was a thread where it was explained that there are two kinds of overweight people. One is from excess calories, the other is from insulin resistance. Due to the low fat/high carb propaganda of the past 20 years, more and more people have become insulin resistant!

We need to be more understanding that we are all different and our bodies are different and so are our psyches.

I am going to have to somewhat disagree on this one... Orchidday, yes, you may be an anthropology major, and I realize that you have studied time and cultures aplenty. I have seen though many many figurines of large obese women that are classified as goddesses, and many as fertility goddesses in many cultures.They have pendulous breasts,large stomachs and more than ample thigh and hips. There is more than enough evidence to support this, and I am attaching a prime example, Venus of Willenorf Now, I am not saying that ALL fertility goddesses and ancient goddesses were these round,rotund,overly endowed females... but evidence proves that there certainly were many of them!

Attached Images

venus_of_willenorf.jpg (3.7 KB, 19 views)

Neat! My hushand gave me a small bone replica of this statue when we were trying for 1st baby. Never knew what it was. Cool! Thanks for sharing.

Actually, to tell you the truth, I kinda thought that was the nature of a fertility symbol - big boobies & big tummy = knocked up, right?

Again - Thanks much for sharing.

ginkirk,that's cute that your hubby gave you a replica of the statue when trying for a baby personally I never had any problem with fertility... and I was just as fertile in my 40's as in my younger years! I was pregnant in the first month that my now hubby moved in, and most ppl consider her a *surprise baby*,well, the surprise is on them... because we both wanted a baby,and planned it!God blessed us greatly in that we both wanted a girl,and was blessed with our angel,KaeLyn. A lot of the fertility symbols have the figure of pregnancy... altho there are many goddesses who also have that figure. As Orchidday had said previously,in some cultures,obesity was something favored,as it meant the woman was well off,as most were starving. I forget the name of the specific tribe/culture, but the bigger the hips/buttocks were,the more favored they were as potential mates... the song "Baby got back" comes to mind
Many societies early on,were matriarchial societies,that is,ran by the women... and emphasis was placed on the women, and in a positive way... Oh what the men of today could learn by studying history! And this is the history lesson for today (just kiddin')

SuzeC, your little Kaelynn sounds like a sweetie. All babies do have tummies, and rolls and folds - they have to be ready to double their height and weight in the space of about two years, which is an amazing feat when you think about it. It sounds as though you are of the right mind set as far as healthy eating and kids are concerned. Talk to your DH and make sure that he knows that he can never, ever make even ONE single even mildly negative comment about your daughter's appearance when she is old enough to understand what's going on. And that happens earlier than we think. I remember coming home from college at 115 pounds and 19 years old (I'm 5'5" tall) and my dad telling me I didn't need dessert because I was fat. That was it. That was the beginning of a lifetime of damned dieting for me.
There is hope though. I have 3 kids, two daughters and one son.
Girls are 18 and 15 and both healthy and on the thin side more than anything, son is 12 and a beanpole. And I have dieted and watched my weight (unsuccessfully til now) their entire lives. I NEVER said I was on a diet, I went to great lengths to make sure they never saw me fanatically measuring or weighing my ridiculous Weightwatchers portions, I never made a single comment about the girls shape and size, and believe me one of them went through a chubby phase right before puberty. I have always just left lots of fresh fruit and pre-cut veggies about, and we talk a lot about being healthy. And now that DH and I are on Atkins, I just cook lots of lc food for the family and supplement the kids with carbs. And cookies - there were never very many because GUESS WHO used to eat most of the cookie dough... I made cookies earlier this week, and I noticed this AM that the cookie jar was still just about full. Gee - who used to eat them?

Marlaine - congrats on the whoosh, you inspire me.

I just remembered something with regards to my previous post. I remember when my eldest girl was just four and my 2nd daughter was an infant, I went into the kitchen where the eldest was playing with my diet scale and my measuring cups. She had some food, cereal I think, and was talking to herself, saying "I can have this much of this, now I have to measure my milk". I asked her what she was doing, and she said she was figuring out "how much she was allowed to eat". Then and there I decided the "diet" word was taboo in our household and I made a conscious decision to not screw up my kid. It is amazing what they pick up on at an early age.

Off my soapbox now!!!

hi sewcrazy, thanks for sharing that. I am hoping that KaeLyn takes after my 2 sons. The oldest is 6 foot, and weighs about 160# and Brendan,is 22, and he only weighs about 115#,but his cerebral palsy is a factor in that too. KaeLyn has seemed to inherit her daddy's long torso, instead of my short,no-waisted one I see that as a benefit to her. And I am trying to give her balanced foods and diet. There is not a lot of emphasis on sweets, and much to the nutritionist's dismay,I do not give her the breads portions they say she should have... she gets more than enough to eat, and she lets me know when she is hungry.. one of her favorite words is eat! I have made a personal vow to myself, that I am holding off for as long as I can, not to give her soda, she don't need that flavored sugar water. All the time,I tell her how pretty she is, and I want her to have a good body image... you wouldn't imagine the joyous laughter I get to hear from her playing with my stomach!!! Seriously... the phrase...shaking like a bowl full of jello comes to mind... and that shows me how far I have come in accepting my body... that I don't mind her doing that... the old me would have said...ewwww don't play with momma's fat tummy...yuk. The improving me laughs along with her. Sure, I have weight to lose, a whole person's weight in fact... but I am on my way... and with the help and support of this forum, and all the beautiful ppl here to help... I know that I can see it all the way through~ http://forum.lowcarber.org/attachme...=&postid=589740 this is for all the wonderful ppl here~

Zuleika:

I did read the thread from the beginning and consequently "heard" what everyone had to say. That doesn't mean I would take it as the gospel truth. This forum is a place to exchange a wide range of thoughts and opinions.

I believe that most morbidly obese people (and I certainly include myself in that category) suffer from insulin resistance which makes them hungrier and makes it more difficult to lose weight. But unfortunately, I think it is clear that its only part of the picture. A host of other issues are at play; emotional and psychological reasons for overeating as well as behaviors we have learned throughout life. I think the issue is far more complex than being addicted to carbs.

My friend weighs about 400 pounds and knows more about dieting and nutrition than any ten people I know. It is heartbreaking to see her eat stuff out of the trash and clean up everybody elses plates. Her weight is crippling her, she has trouble even walking short distances. Her joints are painful and she takes lots of meds for high blood pressure. Sorry, but I think it is terribly simplistic to chalk it all up to carb addiction. There is obviously more going on. All I can do is care for her even if she never wants to do anything about it. Everyone in the world, even total strangers, feel free to suggest diets to her. I am not gonna be one of those people.