I was like this when I first met my husband - very shy about showing my body and I'd do things like grab a robe while holding a blanket around me or other such shenanegans.
Over time though...it was the love of my husband that made me feel and more comfortable with him. It's kind of a chicken/egg dilemma...let me explain.
When you feel like taking the chance and are comfortable enough to let your husband touch your naked body, those caresses are the very thing that take away those negative/awkward feelings. There isn't anything more affirming and loving than feeling your partner's hands on your bare skin.
My husband would tell me that I was beautiful, but it wasn't until I let him really touch me, that I believed him. This isn't just about sex, it's about touch.
Touch is very powerful in the face of a negative body image. It's hard to feel ugly or fat when someone you love more than anything is sliding his hands from the back of your neck all the way down to your toes. It's even tougher to feel ugly when that person is kissing your bare shoulders and hugging your whole body. When he's whispering "mmm" in your ear.
It becomes difficult to continue believing we're not good enough, or that our body is somehow ugly when the person who makes our lives worth living is telling us the opposite - using a different language , one that is far more powerful than the mere "words" in our heads.
It may take a little while, but I can tell you it's well worth it to start thinking about ways to let yourself be loved in this way.
Back when I was feeling this awkwardness, I started by sometimes going to bed earlier than my husband - I'd get undressed and get under the covers before he came into the bedroom. At first, I'd even turn off the little lamp on the bedside table.
Another thing that helped ...(as silly as this might sound) was buying myself some pretty underthings. Before I let myself "be naked" in front of my husband, I bought some nice bras and pretty undies. I'm not talking trashy lingerie stuff here, just some simple, pretty things to wear underneath my clothes. That way, when I was getting dressed in the morning, I could walk across the room in my shirt...but flaunting my pretty undies. Or sometimes it would be me finishing up my hair or makeup while standing in the bathroom with my pants on, with just my pretty bra on top. My husband loved this. I got rid of any tired old beige bras or greyish looking, utilitarian panties. Started wearing colourful things - blue, purple, pink, turquoise, black, forest green and the like.
On the outside, I was still wearing my "fat clothes", but underneath, I felt lovely. Gradually the cothes on the outside became nicer too - even at my highest weight ever. It was the pretty underthings that did it.
I was always shy about my body - even when I was "thin". Now I'm overweight (albeit working on that), and because I let myself "feel" how much my husband loved me, I'm much more confident and comfortable with my body.
Let me back up here a bit - when I was thinner (119lbs), I was much more uncomfortable about my body than I am now. I had such a negative body image that I couldn't see that I had a nice figure. I'd cover up in baggy clothes and I felt that my body just wasn't good enough. That came from years of criticism growing up..."that shirt is too big in the chest for you, you can't wear those kinds of things" or "you're too thin, you look almost sick" or "you can't wear those colours, you look washed out" (I'm a blonde with very fair skin). I'd hear that I needed a padded bra, or that a certain top looked trashy or that somehow...I looked wholly inappropriate, no matter what I wore. I eventually gave up, and would cover up in baggy t-shirts, oversize sweatshirts and so on. This is something kinda personal...and I do feel funny about sharing it here, but I wanted to illustrate a very important point. And that point is....
It doesn't matter what *size* you are, a negative body image can make you feel bad, no matter how thin or fat you are. Waiting until you're "thin" or "almost pretty" won't work. I know that being overweight can certainly contribute to a negative body image, but believe me...a negative body image knows no size. If it's not the fat, then it will be the cellulite, the flabby skin, the hair on your head not being quite right, the width of your feet, the shape of your eyes...see what I mean? It won't just "go away" with the weight loss.
Words are wonderful, but they aren't enough. Not when we're dealing with years and years of negative ideas about our bodies. Touch will erase all of that. It won't take long either...little by little, you'll feel those bad feelings melting away. In fact, you'll feel a whole lot better about yourself and you'll probably fall in love with your husband all over again.
Please don't wait till you're "thin enough" or "good enough" to let yourself feel loved and appreciated completely.
You are beautiful and your husband knows it. Let him *show* you.
Think of this as a gift - a gift to yourself and a gift to your husband. You won't regret it, I promise.
Take care