Originally Posted by Charms09
I thought most people are proud of themselves for loosing weight???
If someone came up to you after dropping 50+ pounds & said "Hey! You look great have you lost weight"? Wouldn't you be happy to answer with a resounding
"yes thank you 50 pounds"?
Um, no. And that was kind of the point of the thread. You have no idea what might have precipitated that weight loss, whether or not losing weight was a choice the person made, or what the condition of the person's "new" body happens to be and if they've just managed to mask a mess with clothing.
Saying to someone, "That dress looks great on you," or, "Wow. You really look great in that print," or, "What a great haircut. I love it!," are all compliments that place no value judgments
on weight. Bringing up someone's weight when they haven't brought it up first is rude.
I've seen people lose tremendous amounts of weight because of the ravages of cancer and chemo -- people who started as obese, so didn't end up looking emaciated or even necessarily "sick" when out in public -- and then they have to endure being told how "healthy" they looked, or what "a great job" they'd done in losing weight. Exactly how do you think something like that would make them feel?
I went through a big involuntary weight loss recently myself. As a person who never had a problem with the way my body looked at any weight, and was already slightly uncomfortable at the size and weight I was at when the losses started, I was terrified and deeply unhappy over the state my body was left in. My close friends are very aware of that. People who haven't seen me in a while (I've spent the last two months either at home or in the hospital) could very well make some stupid comment about weight when I see them for the first time again.
The first time I hear a, "You've lost weight. How did you do that?," the person is going to get a completely deadpan, "I almost died," in return. And I won't give two sh*ts over how bad that might make them feel.