That's because you're not a man. It's not a rational response.

I am not a man hater, by any means, but I asked several guy friends a question that got me a lot of open mouths and truthful answers. You ready? I asked them, If I was standing in front of them (appx 60lbs over weight, pear shape and told to be cute), and me, but slender, was next to me, which would they take? THe answer hurt, but they all said me as the more slender self. Even my 12 yr old son agreed. I didn't ask BF, I didn't want hurt feelings, mine!

My ex husband, I met when I was 100lbs over weight. He said he likes a bigger woman. Ok, but as I started to loose weight to be healther, and got to a healthy weight, he was trying to stuff chips and ice cream infront of me. When I got to my goal weight, we got our divorce. His second wife, was big, but he told her she was to big, so she lost weight and they got married (poor girl), years later, she did gain back and they divorced, she hated him. Now, my sister, who is 60lbs over weight and carries it all in her belly, wants to loose weight, she's living with him. He's doing everything in his power to keep her weight up. Why? Does he truly like the looks of a heavier woman? Or, could he be insecure and prefer a heavy woman hoping she would stay with him and expect less of him? I truly believe he is an insecure man. He is at worse, 30lbs over weight and loves womans's attention.

I don't believe all men that prefer heavier woman are insecure, I think many truly like the build of a heavier woman. Just a thought.

My present BF is about 30lbs over weight, carries it all in his belly and is sexier than any other man I have ever met. Truthfully, I don't want him to have wash board abbs, he looks human and healthy at his weight even with the extra padding on him. Maybe he's so darn sexy cause he doesn't see it, and he's just himself?

We humans are the only animals alive that worry about our weight. I've never seen my stud horse shun a mare because she was fat. My Mini Rex buck, actually prefers a larger doe, although he wont turn down any perty little gal. Why are most of the stars and models skinny little things? Why do we like the looks of them? I think the models look grossely skinny. I caught my BF staring at a gal in a bikini, i was shocked and was trying to see what he found so attractive. SHe was a rack of bones, no but, a small pudge on her belly, flat droopy boobs, yet he was staring! Later he told me that she was to skinny for his taste, but he still wants to look. Why?

So many questions, and many of us are not confadent about our bodies. I for one am not. I get men look at me and flirt with me(big boobs and small waist), and it feels great! But I look in the mirror and can't see why. I'm heavy and can't see why any man would flirt with me. BF does, he follows me around the house panting, lol! But he's in love with me, what happens when the rose colored glasses come off?

Has it ever actually been satisfactorally-demonstrated that some indicator of body fat percentage is causative in predicting sexual attraction?

I'm kind of suspicious, because mating behavior is a very concrete phenotypic expression of the sum total of your genes merely trying to replicate. In the environment in which our genotype evolved, I have a hard time imagining how there would be as varied a difference in individual body composition as we see today, and the only reason that would factor into mating selection behavior is if body composition signalled something about genetic fitness. In the paleolithic environment, any of the genetic predispositions we might see expressed phenotypically in the modern world would intutively seem to be fairly irrelevant, as nobody eating the low glycemic load of a hunter-gatherer human would ever remotely develop the symptoms of insulin resistance and Syndrome X which are associated with excess fat accumulation. This would suggest to me that there is little reason to believe it plausible that body composition in and of itself would provide any meaningful signal of genetic fitness.

From anecdotal experience, I think that there are probably a lot of subtle and complicated factors other than something as simple as body fat that comes into play in deciding attraction. There is plausible evidence that genetic compatibility can be subconsciously ascertained from scent (the MHC genes), which actually does have a very concrete advantage in the viability of offspring. The whole subject is really rather mysterious, because while we can attempt to objectively discover at least portions of the causative biochemistry, it is probably impossible to be objective about the phenomenal experience of actually feeling attraction.

I seem to remember at least one study showing it was something to do with waist-hip ratios when looking just at the body.

However, culture can change what is considered attractive - skinny women are on tv, movies, billboards, magazines, on the runway, and are held up as the 'ideal' - so ordinary women want to be like them, and men want to be with women who look like them - its a type of conditioning. Women are them judged adversely the further they get away from the cultural 'norm', and men are judged adversely if they find larger women attractive.

For example, when I was 19 and a little overweight, my boyfriend at the time was teased a little by his mates because I had a big bum (pre J-lo and big bums were not 'in'), but this was nothing to when another guy in the group of friends, Pete, started dating a larger woman, maybe 250-300lbs, and stated he loved both her personality AND her curves. She was not accepted into the group as I had been, and Pete was ostracised somewhat, and discouraged from bringing her when the group got together - she was a really sweet girl, shy but really nice, and she didn't deserve that treatment from the group, eventually Pete broke up with her due to the group and cultural pressure.

When I later gained weight, and by this time had married my boyfriend, I found that he started not wanting me to come to group events, and then to anything, work functions etc. Needless to say we divorced.

My current partner (we've been together nearly 11 years), finds larger curvy women attractive and doesn't care what anyone thinks, he's an aspie and rather blind to social and cultural pressure, but has had a couple of guys admit to him privately that they find curvy women attractive as well as skinny women, but would never pursue a relationship with one, because its not socially acceptable 'what would my mates say, what would people think of me'.

In the end men and women are conditioned into a belief of what is considered attractive. And this works the same the other way, in places where large is considered culturally to be attractive in a woman, men and women who prefer slim are shunned and considered outside the norm.

Societal and cultural pressure is huge, and few are immune, and most don't realise they're continually being affected.

Who knows anymore, what biologically is ideal in terms of attractiveness? Though I suspect larger hips, slim waist and reasonable sized bust would indicate fertility, whereas the current skinny, prepubescent look, would have been indicative of not being either sexually mature, or fertile.



Lee

He he, I deffanitly, look sexually mature and fertile! Big boobs, small waist, larger hips/thighs and a bottom to match. I'm not a bubble butt, but ample I would like to loose some of that ample. My BF says I'm sexy just being me and he is proud to take me everywhere (but not in my blue sweets) and show me off. Its nice to feel sexy, but I still wonder if he would prefer me more slender or he's just "ok" with me the way I am. He does back me with my diet.


He does like to gaulk at the skinny mini types, never seen him gaulk at the bigger girls though, not even the ones my size, unless that nasty slutty thing sticks her boobs in his face.

I generally wait until I get a chance to speak with a person before I decide whether or not I find them attractive.

Cicero2.0...you had me there! I tried to kill your little bug 3 times before I realised it was a fake!
And so true, a person is a whole not just an outline..... I think things are getting confused with slim, trim and youth... men like women with perky breasts, slim waists and long lean legs. That is natures produce, a fresh young woman. Men, also came as virile, strong males, ready for anything. What comes after is a different thing. When humans stopped grunting, they wanted company, shared life, couples developed. It's not just sex, its a family unit. Nature is nature... survival of the fitest, but even in nature, pairs mate for life. You can't tell me the old crow is the same after a few years. The feathers are a little scraggy, the beak not so sharp, but they are still nesting together. Why!
There is nothing here to get upset about, some like this, some like that... Lucky enough, there's enough this and that to go around!

Excellent points. We will all get old and saggy at some point. I would rather get old and saggy with someone that fulfills my emotional needs and allows me to fulfill theirs. Looks are nice but I prefer kindred spirits.