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  #1   ^
Old Sat, Aug-16-14, 18:35
abby1020's Avatar
abby1020 abby1020 is offline
New Member
Posts: 6
 
Plan: general low carb
Stats: 200/192/127 Female 66 inches
BF:
Progress: 11%
Unhappy fell off wagon tonight

I just ate a peanut butter bash at Dairy Queen.

It was awful. I feel awful.

I ate all of it.

I was out with the family, they were all eating ice cream.

The pressure was too much.

How do you cope with a situation where everyone is eating something that you can't?

Please tell me I'm not going to gain back fifteen pounds overnight.
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  #2   ^
Old Sat, Aug-16-14, 18:49
Liz53's Avatar
Liz53 Liz53 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 6,140
 
Plan: Mostly Fung/IDM
Stats: 165/138.4/135 Female 63
BF:???/better/???
Progress: 89%
Location: Washington state
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You are not going to gain 15 lbs overnight. Hopefully you will remember this experience, how awful you feel, and not repeat it. That's about all you do with this experience.

As you become more accustomed to LC you will be tempted less, and perhaps a little more selective about your excursions off plan. Perhaps you don't accompany the family to DQ for a while? In the end, will your family remember all the wonderful things you did for them or the time you did NOT go to DQ? They will be so proud of you when you reclaim your health.
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  #3   ^
Old Sat, Aug-16-14, 20:03
CallmeAnn's Avatar
CallmeAnn CallmeAnn is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,728
 
Plan: HFLC/IF
Stats: 218/176/140 Female 5'4"
BF:27%
Progress: 54%
Location: Houston area
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liz53
You are not going to gain 15 lbs overnight. Hopefully you will remember this experience, how awful you feel, and not repeat it. That's about all you do with this experience.

As you become more accustomed to LC you will be tempted less, and perhaps a little more selective about your excursions off plan. Perhaps you don't accompany the family to DQ for a while? In the end, will your family remember all the wonderful things you did for them or the time you did NOT go to DQ? They will be so proud of you when you reclaim your health.



"Please tell me I'm not going to gain back fifteen pounds overnight." wow! That's great progress.
Now what may happen is that you will put on some water weight and be kind of bloated for a few days. Power through it and learn from it. It's actually a useful experience and gives you a concrete consequence to associate with cheating. It would be better had you not done it but if not tonight, it would likely happen another time. We're all human, after all. It shows you how the entirety of life shakes out in the big picture. Good days, bad days, etc. You'll bounce back, I'm sure.
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  #4   ^
Old Sat, Aug-16-14, 20:24
Jamackarch's Avatar
Jamackarch Jamackarch is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 3,567
 
Plan: hflc
Stats: 166/157/125 Female 5'2"
BF:
Progress: 22%
Location: Pacific Northwest
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Quote:
How do you cope with a situation where everyone is eating something that you can't?


Hi Abby
I had the same experience...at the lake- we all just HAD to go for ice cream...I had made up my mind that there were not going to be any (more) "cheats" and so I went along fully aware that they wee all going to have unbelievably delicious-looking old fashioned parlor ice cream and I was fully prepared to have none. I took my camera so I could keep my hands busy and capture some fun pics. Turned out they had "old fashioned" ice tea too! (NO sugar or sweetener) so, I got that and was perfectly happy.

If I'm going out, (and this isn't too different from what I used to do on low cal plans either, except now I can do a much better job of filling myself up and feeling super satisfied) I ALWAYS eat before. This strategy has you run the risk of being too full to enjoy something beautiful you weren't expecting like real lump crab meat or a platter of French cheeses...BUT, I would rather "miss out" on great things because I was SMART and ate before, that EVER get trapped in a situation where I was hungry with no choices or not full ENOUGH to resist not only the old habits and carb addiction, but the SOCIAL PRESSURE from others, even those who love us most and want us to succeed.

And, keep nuts and meat sticks in the glove box of the car.

Tonight I experimented to make a nice chocolatey on-plan "dessert" with no sugar and loads of fat... They turned out okay, so, if my fam decided to go get ice cream, I'd down a couple of those little baby frozen "choc cheese cakes" before we headed out the door. Of course, artificial sweetener never feels as good in the mouth as real sugar, but it feels good enough. Good enough to give you the control you need.

These are just some of the things I've done lately and they really are helping.

Hang in there! Start fresh tomorrow and don't think about it.

I wrote a little bit in my journal, about how I came to the absolutely no cheats decision, and basically, there's always going to be SOMETHING. A bday, a party whatever. If you just decide you are NOT going to consciously eat carbcrap food, life becomes...mentally much easier.

CHeers,
Julie
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  #5   ^
Old Sat, Aug-16-14, 20:34
Jamackarch's Avatar
Jamackarch Jamackarch is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 3,567
 
Plan: hflc
Stats: 166/157/125 Female 5'2"
BF:
Progress: 22%
Location: Pacific Northwest
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Hi Abby,

One other thing, when I first jumped on the boards, the 'veterans' suggested right away that I keep a journal with food tracking. It's pretty cool actually, to have all that info recorded. I like to look back- read it- see what I was eating...

If you do that, and then there are problems along the way, the vets swoop in from cyber space and are able to make very, very helpful suggestions and ask for more info...it's a super great tool.

Also, then you can "talk" to people with out having to always "post" new threads.

Jam
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  #6   ^
Old Sat, Aug-16-14, 21:14
khrussva's Avatar
khrussva khrussva is offline
Say NO to Diabetes!
Posts: 8,671
 
Plan: My own - < 30 net carbs
Stats: 440/228/210 Male 5' 11"
BF:Energy Unleashed
Progress: 92%
Location: Central Virginia - USA
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I used to cheat like that all the time. I have derailed way too many diet attempts by cheating -- so this time around I decided that I simply won't cheat any more. I have a zero tolerance policy firmly established and it really has helped. I just don't even entertain the thought of cheating anymore.

It is easy now, but not so in the beginning. For the first few weeks I just stayed home when the rest of the family wanted to eat out. After a month or so staying totally LC, I felt a little more confident that I could be in the company of people eating things that I longed to eat. When the family went out to eat, I would go -- but I'd only eat a side salad and just drank Diet Coke until I popped. After 2 or 3 months of strict LC eating - I had stopped longing for those carby foods and have no problem being around others indulging in things I no longer eat. All I can say is that it really, really helps to get on plan and stay on plan. It time, that feeling of being deprived will go away and you will become amazingly strong.

BTW: In my opinion - you are not officially "off the wagon" by having one cheat. The past is the past and if you are back on plan now -- everything is A-OK. Don't let this throw you off and let it lead to repeat offences. In my past, cheats often lead to more cheats and/or binges and I would put several pounds back on. Eventually, I'd tire of the fight and give up. Life is a series of lessons learned. After lots of failure, I figured out what I needed to do. You can do the same.

Last edited by khrussva : Sat, Aug-16-14 at 23:15.
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  #7   ^
Old Sat, Aug-16-14, 21:21
CallmeAnn's Avatar
CallmeAnn CallmeAnn is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,728
 
Plan: HFLC/IF
Stats: 218/176/140 Female 5'4"
BF:27%
Progress: 54%
Location: Houston area
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Every body here is right, of course. I have found that if you concentrate on other things, such as the conversation or other things going on around you, and don't focus on how the food looks, it helps a lot. If anyone tells you how good the food is, just tell them you've had your share, all the years you ate it, so now it's time to go without it. You've been there and done that, essentially.
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  #8   ^
Old Sat, Aug-16-14, 21:25
Matlock's Avatar
Matlock Matlock is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 579
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 390/231/200 Male 5'10''
BF:
Progress: 84%
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We go out for milkshakes at Sonic -- half price after 8pm, hard to pass up. I get a diet soda so I have something to focus on, something to do with my hands. That way I don't feel so left out, and it makes them more comfortable too, I imagine.
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  #9   ^
Old Sat, Aug-16-14, 21:40
CallmeAnn's Avatar
CallmeAnn CallmeAnn is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,728
 
Plan: HFLC/IF
Stats: 218/176/140 Female 5'4"
BF:27%
Progress: 54%
Location: Houston area
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Hubby had to work late tonight so he wanted to go to a favorite seafood place for supper. He texted me to see what he could bring me and I really want some cold boiled shrimp. On plan, right? Except I'm trying not to eat after 6 or so and shrimp is pretty likely to make me hold a lot of water due to the sodium in the boiling spices. I just thanked him and said no.
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  #10   ^
Old Tue, Aug-19-14, 06:51
CaliRocker CaliRocker is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 138
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 191/151/121 Female 5 ft 3 in
BF:
Progress: 57%
Location: Fairfield, California
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For me, I don't want to avoid these foods forever. The key to like is moderation. So if my family is all going out for ice cream, i take a couple bites from my siblings or dad and then I'm satisfied. The point is to listen to your body. If your body doesn't really care, then don't eat it. If it's seriously craving it and you've managed to stay on this WOE for a long enough time to trust yourself that you won't go overboard, have a tiny bit. I read somewhere that you should stick to your plan 80% and then have fun with the other 20%, and most of the people I've seen who have lost a lot of weight and kept it off use this rule. I know many would disagree with me, but that's my two cents.
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  #11   ^
Old Tue, Aug-19-14, 07:52
khrussva's Avatar
khrussva khrussva is offline
Say NO to Diabetes!
Posts: 8,671
 
Plan: My own - < 30 net carbs
Stats: 440/228/210 Male 5' 11"
BF:Energy Unleashed
Progress: 92%
Location: Central Virginia - USA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliRocker
For me, I don't want to avoid these foods forever. The key to like is moderation. So if my family is all going out for ice cream, i take a couple bites from my siblings or dad and then I'm satisfied. The point is to listen to your body. If your body doesn't really care, then don't eat it. If it's seriously craving it and you've managed to stay on this WOE for a long enough time to trust yourself that you won't go overboard, have a tiny bit. I read somewhere that you should stick to your plan 80% and then have fun with the other 20%, and most of the people I've seen who have lost a lot of weight and kept it off use this rule. I know many would disagree with me, but that's my two cents.


For many - maybe even most - people, this may be true. I saw that with my wife this summer. She could be low carb for a few weeks - have a little sweet treat - and it would not throw her off. But sadly, it is not the case for me. I have a 30 year track record of yo-yo dieting ever upward to prove it. Even a little dabbling in sugary carb loaded food will awaken the carb craving beast that made me fat in the first place. I lose control and find it very hard to stay or get back on plan. If I eat even a few bites, my body is screaming at me to eat more and it is very persuasive.

When I reach maintenance, I may be able to add certain foods back to my diet - such as small portions of fruit, beans, etc. But the days of me eating even a bit of a DQ chocolate sundae are over. For me, it is just not worth it. For those who crave carbs like I do, it is best to just deal with the fact that there are just some foods we should never have again. This debate has come up time and again on this forum. It is clear to me that for many, the occasional off-plan treat is not a big issue. But that is not true for everyone. The important thing is that we figure what works for us as individuals and stick with what works.
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  #12   ^
Old Tue, Aug-19-14, 08:35
CaliRocker CaliRocker is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 138
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 191/151/121 Female 5 ft 3 in
BF:
Progress: 57%
Location: Fairfield, California
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Quote:
Originally Posted by khrussva
The important thing is that we figure what works for us as individuals and stick with what works.


Exactly, everyone is different. However, we should never beat ourselves up for a slip up. Sh*t happens and that's life. Just move on in a positive direction.
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  #13   ^
Old Tue, Aug-19-14, 20:50
bworthey's Avatar
bworthey bworthey is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 547
 
Plan: Low carb
Stats: 352/332/240 Male 5 feet 6 inches
BF:
Progress: 18%
Location: Nettleton, MS
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Quote:
Originally Posted by abby1020
How do you cope with a situation where everyone is eating something that you can't?



You've already received some great advice here! This quote below is the biggest thing that comes into play in this situation -

Quote:
Originally Posted by khrussva
The important thing is that we figure what works for us as individuals and stick with what works.


What worked for me - I know you didn't ask, but I'm sharing - I went, I declined whatever it was everyone else was eating. I thanked them, if they pushed further, explained why I couldn't have it, if they pushed more, I explained more. Pushed further, just stated I couldn't have it, might even add it'd make me sick to have it. That usually ends it. I try and find something on the menu that I can have, even if it's just a drink.

I don't avoid these situations as some people suggest. If you absolutely know you can't go without cheating and can avoid the situation, then that might be the better option. But that's not always the case for me. I have baked cookies and cakes for my daughters - do you know how hard it is not to like the spoon, your fingers, the bowl!?!?! But I haven't - I've been doing this for 9 months now. I don't necessarily know what I did, or how I do it. I made my mind up that I had to do something. That's been it. I may cheat or slip up tomorrow, but I don't plan to.

And no, you're not going to gain 15 pounds - just get back on plan and get after it!
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  #14   ^
Old Wed, Aug-20-14, 04:57
CaliRocker CaliRocker is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 138
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 191/151/121 Female 5 ft 3 in
BF:
Progress: 57%
Location: Fairfield, California
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When I first got to Pakistan is when I first started my LC lifestyle. I guess what Pakistanis do when they are offered food is to decline first because it is the polite thing to do. Usually even if one wants something they decline two to three times before they agree to have something. So when I go to people's houses and they offer my high carb food and I say no thank you, they think that I'm just being polite and ask me many times after. I found though that if you are open about your new way of eating they don't push it. Once I got comfortable saying, "no I cut out sugar from my diet," then then stopped asking.
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  #15   ^
Old Wed, Aug-20-14, 05:09
Just Jo's Avatar
Just Jo Just Jo is offline
A'72 Lifer Hard Core
Posts: 15,566
 
Plan: A'72 Induction Lifer + IF
Stats: 265/114/130 Female 5'4"
BF:Not so much now!
Progress: 112%
Location: South Central New Mexico
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Awww you poor thing... we've all done it and then climbed back on board the LC WOE wagon (for me it's been like a gazillion times).

What's really worked for me is to always have a back-up plan for situations where eating LC in not conducive. I always bring something I can eat or just drink a "LEGAL" beverage. I've become the designated "dt. coke" drinker at a lot of lunches and dinners out with family/friends.

I either eat before I go or afterward, depending on how hungry I am. You just have to set your mind to do what you need to do to get the results you want. In time, carb-y foods will not tempt you. For example, I really dislike choc'late - always have - that's how I react to all those toxic carbs now... it's like that choc'late to me. Actually, eating or even thinking about eating those carbs makes me wanna gag.

Wishing you much success on your LC WOE journey!!

Jo =]
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