Broke up with my BF 2 days ago. [Insert backstory here that would be boring to anybody but me].

I think it's for the best, but I miss him. I miss the "Hello Beautiful" email he sent me every single morning since the day we met. I feel despondent at the prospect of never finding anyone I want to share my life with again. I know these feelings will pass and I'll be meeting new people soon; believe me, I have no intention of staying home to mope. But I'm in a bit of pain right now and I have the urge to use alcohol as a form of anaesthetic. Well, we all know how dangerous that is to our w.o.e. I had 3 glasses of wine at home alone last night which is unheard of for me. I have been known to sometimes drink to excess when out with friends, but never alone. I'm not ready to cry on my friends' shoulders about this yet, nobody knows. But I thought that posting here would help dilute some of the feelings I have right now and maybe that will make the alcohol/anaesthetic "cure" less necessary when I get home from work today. So far I've been under-eating even with the wine, but that's just shock I expect. Eventually I'll get my appetite back with a vengeance and then it will be imperative to ditch the wine - before the crazy food choices begin, LOL. Oh, I typed LOL and I smiled! Posting this did help.

Sorry Whofan. *hugs* I send some strength and happiness your way. You will get past this!

((Hugs Whofan))
You are self-aware and here and we are here for support!

Thank you both. Knowing someone supports and understands you really does help.

Oh baby! Stay strong.. the next worse thing to breaking up..is breaking up AND getting fat!! If there is a time when you want to feel confident about yourself..it is now! The only good news.. broken hearts do heal.. and some day you will look back and be thankful for winning the battle!

AW man. That's awful, but it does get better. Sounds like your attitude is pretty good.

My best to you!

That did make me smile. No, I'm not going to get fat over this. In fact my commitment to staying slim is renewed. I see a pretty new dress in my future. Hell, maybe even a little botox to wipe away the frown lines he gave me! Thanks for your kindness huskergram and werebear!

Glad to report that I had no alcohol last night, but cooked a juicy ribeye steak with sauted spinach, followed by a bowl of raspberries topped with plain greek yogurt. Then I went to bed and slept the sleep of the dead for 9 hours. Woke up feeling healthy and energetic today with much of the sadness gone and a little hint of anger instead - which I think is healthy. I believe the 5 phases of grief/loss are denial, bargaining, sadness, anger, acceptance. I've finished with the first two and am on my way to the fifth.

I'm sorry to whine about all this when other people have worse to deal with. But there's been a lot of loss in my life (deaths and divorce) and that aching hollow feeling in the stomach just never gets easier.

I would bet we all know that feeling, whatever the cause. Glad you decided to post instead of drinking alone. Best wishes to you as you move forward.

why the break up?

No, the aching empty hollow feeling doesn't stop at first but it does go away over time.
I'm sorry that you are having to deal with these feelings.
At the same time, you knew how to take care of yourself last night by making yourself an amazing meal! Good girl!

I too, am glad that you came here to write about this. Very smart!

FYI- There is a baby boomer meetup on 8/2 with swing dancing on the UWS. If you pm me your email, I'll shoot it over to you.

You sure aren't whining! I admire that wonderful dinner you substituted for a pity party.

If what we are holding in our hand is not right for us; we must let it go, to find a home elsewhere. Otherwise; we are making two people unhappy.

Then we have an open hand to present to the Universe; so it knows it needs to be filled

Life, light, and love to you, Whofan.

Wise and wonderful words. Thank you.

Update: The more time I had to think about the breakup the more I realized it was for the best. Am now fully in the acceptance phase and even have a slight sense of relief that it's over - which I didn't expect.

I've connected with a couple of interesting guys on line and am having dinner with one of them next week. And last night I went dancing at the place Judy mentioned. I had a great time! It's been decades since I went dancing. I'd forgotten how much I liked it. I met two very nice men who kind of took me under their wing, introduced me to people, and re-taught me how to dance. I'd definitely like to go to next month's dance since now I won't feel like a complete stranger.

I'm not saying this break-up has been easy, but the future doesn't seem as bleak any more. I've only had one drink since my first post, and that was a glass of wine last night. Eating has been healthy and almost clean lc. In my youth I would have smoked a carton of cigarettes and drunk a gallon of vodka by now!

Thanks Judy and everyone else. You have no idea how much you helped me get through this.

OH GREAT! I was wondering if you went and how you liked it!
You are doing great! I'm sure that the men really enjoyed you there....in your new very slim body!