Another thing to consider is cultural context. In some other countries than the US and Canada, being obese is, in fact, the ideal and women, especially, strive to fill out to what we would consider fairly large. I think some of this is dependent on where you live here, too. My MIL asked me once how I could be so happy with myself being so large, meaning so confident. After almost choking because it was so rude, I realized that she's the one imprisoned by her weight. She lives in a very image-conscious area and has struggled to be thin enough her whole life, even though she has never been anything but thin. I have always lived in a very culturally diverse city where beauty ideals and perceptions of the meaning of fatness can be very divergent. It's fairly well-known that, in some communities, eating disorders and poor body image (regardless of weight) are much more rare than in others. It just depends on what is culturally handed to you.

I've found that those who tend to be most offended by my weight, are those to whom image is very important. In fact I can often look at people and know who's going have the whole look and attitude of 'horror' about me - not just my weight, me as a whole, because they tend to be unable to separate the weight from the person inside. Their loss

Some of us might define ourselves by what others are thinking of us. Not a good idea IMHO.

While one should give consideration to their appearance to others, it's not good to take that to an extreme.

I don't want to be obese for two reasons (1) I think it is healthier and has a good possibility of extending my life span (2) I want to look as good to my wife as she looks to me.

I could care less what anyone else things of my weight, and felt the same way when I was very obese. I really like myself. I think I'm a kind person, intelligent, witty, and easy-going. If someone else disagrees, it's OK with me. If someone doesn't give me a chance because of my looks, they are probably too superficial to interest me anyway.

Bob

Yes, you can be happy if you're fat, and you can be unhappy if you are not fat.

Bob got this just right. Now I am not going to read into the question to deep, but I was happy and having fun in college when I was 350 - 370. Now that I think back I think it was false some what. I walk slupmed over to hide how big I was, whore big clothing, ate so bad it crazy. I also missed out on many fine women that I might have had chance with if I was my new low weight now. I know that might sound kinda crappy to say but I was the nice guy girls hung out with but would not give me a date even when the guy they chose was dab to them.

Now I am married and doing great, feel great and everyone notices how I look. People tell me I am going to blow away in the winds and so on

I also think this is more of an image problem too. I know some men and women that look great in my eyes but always think they are fat. Drives me nutz when I am trying to lose.

What made me happy was figuring out what I was doing wrong. While I'm not and have never been happy about being obese - I had pretty much given up all hope of that ever changing. So while I wasn't happy about it, I saw no reason to dwell on it and be unhappy about something that I could not change. When I finally figured out how to make this WOE work for me, when I knew what I had to do to succeed with weight loss... that is when I became a happy camper. I've been quite happy and optimistic about my life ever sense. I was happy at 350 pounds, 300 pounds, 275, etc. I'm still not skinny, but I'm happy with where I'm at today. If I keep moving in the right direction -- or at least maintain what I have lost, I will stay happy. It is not so much about my size as it is about knowing how I need to eat and doing it. I am happiest when I'm eating at my best. When I lose focus with my eating, my happiness suffers accordingly.

Marc Maron, the comedian who has the WTF podcast (it's excellent!) often says his mother told him that her greatest accomplishment in life was not gaining a pound since her wedding.

She was very unhappy.

My point? Unhappiness about weight can take many forms, and when a bad feeling comes from outside, it can and should be taken as prejudice. People of color, people who are gay, people who are disabled; anyone "different" in any way can be made to feel terrible about themselves, which has nothing to do with the kind of person they are.

I started Atkins to lose weight, but what made me stick with it was fear of diabetes. I've been a size 10, and now, due to illness, I'm a size 14. Either way, I'm able to be comfortable, do things in terms of airplane seats and amusement park rides, and be happy.

The thing that used to make me despair was my "inability" to lose weight. When I found out I had been told the wrong things all my life about food and nutrition? That there was a way to be healthy and not carry excess fat?

Gosh. That made me happy.

Actually reading these posts and thinking it over, I realize that in some ways I was quite happy even when I was at my highest weight.

One reason is that I was able to maintain sky-high levels of denial about my "weight problem" and just keep going, having adventures, trying new things, etc. I was younger then too which is a factor, but my energy and spirits were good.

Maybe having been fat as a kid, early on I became shielded from feeling limited because of weight or caring how other people judged me for my size. If I hadn't begun to have some serious health concerns, I might not have really been that motivated to change!

But in retrospect, even though I was "happy" I wasn't doing so great. I didn't realize I was heading for some rough seas and health challenges, and wasn't really making enough progress in work and life. I now think wheat and sugar were having a huge effect on my mental clarity and moods. One thing I'm eternally grateful for is how going LCHF restored me to clear thinking and much better focus and concentration.

OT - wow I love Marc Maron, I've been a fan ever since I saw him doing standup in the late 90s!

I'm a happy guy.

I make my living doing music and nothing but music (except for two 'day jobs' I had testing what it was to be 'normal'). I have a beautiful wife who makes me smile every day, and I try my best to return the favors. And most importantly, I have good health.

I was happy when I was planning to divorce my first wife, although we both had bouts of extreme anger. Between the fights I was still happy.

I was happy when I was almost famous (warming up for superstars at concerts and being courted by a record company), and I was happy when I was playing in dive bars.

I was happy when I was 170 pounds and I was happy when I was approaching 300.

I wake up and get to spend another day on the planet, alive, able to listen to or make music, able to eat delicious food even if it's limited, able to see beautiful things, and feel confident that odds are I'll be able to do the same thing tomorrow. What's not to be happy about?

As I mentioned earlier, I have good health. Without good health, nothing else matters. So being thinner gives me probability of better health, and therefore more happiness.

Don't make the mistake of making yourself unhappy. You are not your weight, you are not your looks, you are what you are, and you get to enjoy another day of life with the probability that you will do the same tomorrow.

Bob

I believe people can genuinely be happy, regardless of size, but I would never measure that happiness by Facebook photos. My godchild had brain surgery, lives with seizures and had to put her academic program on hold, but you would never know that by looking at her smiling face in Facebook photos.
Happiness is a very difficult thing to measure. People can actually be happy through great trials and suffering. A bigger issue is habits, not weight. What are a person's habits and are those habits making them happy?

Happiness is a chemical (actually 7 depending on the situation) that is not regulated by an individuals weight. So from a physiological point of view, there is nothing impeding happiness. It's the attitude of the individual that will determine whether they wish to be happy or not.

For me personally, I was extremely unhappy being morbidly obese most of my life! That was the one issue that made me unhappy. I am a positive happy person even at my heaviest!

It's really funny because when I show my "Fat Jo" picture to my friends and colleagues, they say things like, wow I don't remember you were that large...

In my mind's eye, I'm still "Fat Jo" but I'm okay with that, but I am very happy now that I am a "normal" size person.

Does losing weight make you happy? It's not the be all and end all of "fixing" your life if what makes you unhappy isn't totally about your weight.

It kind of reminds me of when young married people who have a troubled marriage say that a baby will "fix" it. We know how that turns out...

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

Happiness IMO is on too many levels to be able to say that one thing is the deciding factor - appearance, money, love, health, lifestyle, family..... and all the things that come under those headings all contribute to ones happiness, but it helps if as many of those things are as you want them to be

Jo xxx

i recognize not everyone posting here would identify themselves as Christians or spiritual, but I am, so I'll give my two cents, for what it's worth. I've come to believe that happiness (or any feeling, for that matter) is fleeting and fickle. It changes with the tide and if we let it guide us, we're going to end up shipwrecked. I think happiness is largely based on circumstances and attitude as well as the physiological interactions of hormones/insulin/neurotransmitters, etc.

Joy is different, in my opinion. Joy comes from the inside of us, in the inner most part of our heart/spirit. Joy is NOT dependent on our circumstances and comes from knowing that we are connected to the Source of Life, whether that be Christ or whatever belief you follow. I know I live around Buddhists who seem to exude joy, regardless of their circumstances and I believe it's because something has connected with them on a level that goes beyond weight, finances, or the battlefield our mind can become. That joy and peace brings hope and that hope helps us to persevere, even when we're feeling sad or depressed.

This is really helpful to me. My daughter who is little has a really hard time with figuring out the ups and downs. She doesn't understand what makes her happy and what suddenly doesn't. She's been struggling. She has a very strong spiritual bent and I think this would be a great way to talk to her about it.

To be brutally honest, I can't know about others, but I know that I cannot be happy and overweight. Maybe an unpopular answer. But it is a truth I know about myself, and knowing the truth about myself is more helpful to me than a thousand people telling me I'm wrong for that. I also know that being a weight that I'm happy WITH doesn't necessarily automatically bring me overall happiness, but it does allow me to pursue it. I also know that other people's weight is never a thing I'm judgemental about, it seems to only apply to me.