Newlowc - I'm going to give this to you as straight as I can. I hope it is well received. I do intend it to be.
First of all, if I could rephrase your message title. I don't believe that you are AFU. What is happening is that you are eating food that FYU. It is the food. It is not you. The key to fixing yourself is to stop eating the food that your body cannot tolerate.
I've been where you are a dozen or more times. I did my first low carb diet back in the 1970's and I have been doing it on and mostly off ever since. I always looked at the diet as a means to lose weight. When I got to goal (or if I got to goal), I had every intention to go back and eat my normal favorite foods. I'd try and cut back and eat normal portions so I would not regain the weight. I'd exercise to try and keep the weight off. And you know the drill... it never worked. The world tells me that I just need to have more willpower. They want to slap the donut out of my hand and give me whole wheat toast and a banana. Little do they realize -- and me also for the longest time -- that eating wheat toast and a banana was no better for me than that donut. It wasn't about the nutrients or empty calories. It was all about what that food does to my blood sugar. I wish I figured that out a long time ago. I thought there was something wrong with me. Turns out, what was wrong was my food choices. There are foods that I should not be eating. And wouldn't you know it -- most of them just happened to be my favorite foods.
Read the "Invisible Cake" post on This Page
of my journal (Post #594). That was an amazing day. A food that I used to love was no longer tormenting me to eat it. You are no different than me. You can get to this same place, too. Eating LCHF is now how I want to eat. It is no longer misery and deprivation. And yet, the way I eat is not signficantly different than all the other failed low carb diets I did over the years. The main difference is...
You guessed it. I don't cheat. I stick exclusively to on-plan foods.
On failed diets of the past, I could go weeks on plan -- maybe even a month or two. But I could never stick to the program all the way. The food would get sooo boring and those old carby favorites were just too irresistible. I'd cheat. I'd take a break. And then I'd struggle like heck to try and get back on plan. The more I dabbled in the carbs, the harder getting back on plan would be. It was pure misery. My diet was in a tailspin and dieing fast. Eventually, I'd just give up and start avoiding the scale. The regain was on. I'd get the usual feelings of self-loathing, desperation, depression, the works. Eventually, I'd level out again, have a need to lose weight -- and start the process all over again. But I was usually heavier than the previous time I'd started.
5 years ago, I lost about 70 pounds (down to 325 or so). My old business was dying and I planned to start my own restaurant. My motivation for the diet was that I needed to lose the weight so I could be on my feet all day. One motivation for starting the restaurant was that if I could earn enough money, I could afford weight loss surgery (a lap band). I was convinced that I could not lose all the weight on my own. I needed help. Had the restaurant succeeded, I'd probably have a lap band right now. But it failed and I went bankrupt in 2012. I landed easy and fell into a good job by the end of the year. But I was depressed and I was eating for comfort through all of 2013. By the end of that year, I'd gained a ton of weight and was starting to have all the symptoms of diabetes kick in. I was fat, sick, and tired. I was pretty much hating life at that point. I was at the bottom and it was time to do something or just die. I decided to do something. But I needed to figure out what I was doing wrong. My way of dieting was not working.
In January of 2014 I saw a news report about people that successfully lose weight and keep it off. The percentage of people who can do that is very small. According to the story, the ones who do it share a few things in common. 1) They change how they eat. They make a permanent change to their diet. And 2) They don't cheat - EVER. My first reaction was... 'Well, of course they'll lose the weight if they don't cheat. What a stupid story. No real news here." But then I started thinking about it. I had made cheating part of my diet plan. I gave myself permission to do it. I also never intended to make what I was doing a permanent change. I was always planning on having my old favorites again at some point.
Anyway - I had to do something. Life was not fun and surgery was no longer a viable option. I didn't have the money. I decide to start my LC diet again -- but with a new rule... NO CHEATING, EVER. No matter what, I was going to stick to on-plan food. No saving up carbs so I could eat 1/2 a cupcake. Only low carb food was allowed. I started that on February 3, 2014 and so far I've never broken the one and only rule. I've stayed on plan and that has made all the difference. I found this website and others. I've watched youtube videos - trying to learn all I could. But day after day after day -- I stayed on plan.
Was it any easier than before? No - it was the same. At 2 months in, I could hardly choke down the boring LC food that I had been loving the first few weeks of the diet. Those old carby favorites were screaming my name. This is where I always gave in on failed diets of the past. I'd take the bait. This time, I didn't. I started searching for other LC recipes. I added more spices. Some days, I ate way too much LC food. ANYTHING but break rule number 1. The truth is, I still didn't believe that I could stay away from my favorite foods forever. Even though I was staying on plan, I was thinking about ways I could work pizza, bread, and pasta back into my diet when I got to maintenance. I was still feeling deprived. I was still hating the diet. Still, I was losing weight and I was staying on plan.
Soon I was in new territory. 3 months on plan. 4 months on plan, 5 months on plan. I'd never done this before. That is when the magic started to happen. My addiction to the old carby favorites started to break. I started asking myself why I considered pizza, pasta, bread, and candy so essential. I started to wonder why I thought I needed them. Don't get me wrong, I knew they would taste good if I ate them. It is just that they didn't seem to be pulling me towards them anymore. I didn't seem to need them anymore. Slowly, I started enjoying my LC food again -- even foods that I considered so boring just months before. Suddenly I realized that my LC foods were becoming my new favorite foods. At this point, I could tell the diet was sticking. I started to believe that I would get to goal. I knew I would get to goal. There was no stopping me. Why? Because I don't cheat and I like how I'm eating.
I started thinking about what I was doing as being for my health. Weight loss was secondary. I accepted the truth about myself. I cannot go back to the eating my problem food (carby food). If I do, I will get fat again. My body does not tolerate sugar well. The problem is the food. If I stay away from my problem food, I am cured. These days, life is much easier. Staying on plan is a breeze. I can be around goodies all day long and I know I will stay out of them. I have a good thing going. Dabbling in the carbs will screw it all up. I'm still sticking to rule number 1.
From where you are, this all seems impossible. I would recommend that if you love pizza - have some pizza. If a snicker's bar is your favorite -- go ahead and have one. Say your goodbyes. Get your head in the right place to get started on your diet again and then do what I did. It is all about sticking to on-plan food day after day. If you do that long enough, you will free yourself from the bondage you are in with all that carby junk that you crave. You can do this. It is not much different than what you have done before. You don't even have to believe that you can do this. What you need to do is to stick to plan day after day. Eventually, eating the right foods for your body will make a believer out of you. You just need to do this the right way.
I hope this helps and I wish you the best.