How To Lie To The Bathroom Scale

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1. Weigh yourself with clothes on, after dinner... as well as in the

morning, without clothes, before breakfast, because it's nice to

see how much weight you've lost overnight.

2. Never weigh yourself with wet hair.


3. When weighing, remove everything, including glasses. In this case,

blurred vision is an asset. Don't forget the earrings, these things

can weigh at least a pound.


4. Use cheap scales only, never the medical kind, because they are

always five pounds off...to your advantage.


5. Always go to the bathroom first.


6. Stand with arms raised, making pressure on the scale lighter.


7. Don't eat or drink in the morning until AFTER you've weighed in,

completely naked, of course.


8. Weigh yourself after a haircut, this is good for at least half a

pound of hair (hopefully).


9. Exhale with all your might BEFORE stepping onto the scale (air has

to weigh something, right?).


10. Start out with just one foot on the scale, then holding onto the

towel rack in front of you, slowly edge your other foot on and

slowly let off of the rack. Admittedly, this takes time, but it's

worth it. You will weigh at least two pounds less than if you'd

stepped on normally.

My God...if it weren't for #1, I'd think someone had been watching me weigh myself.

I'm with Pstar..

But,if I did the #1 I'd be suicidal as I weigh much more in the evening.AM scales are bad enough.

Thanks for the laugh LeoCadia...and hopefully I will lose a lb. from the laughter.

Linda

wherem did you get the name leocadia that was my grandmothers name and ive never seen it before

jobe... did research on the name leocadia... was a Spanish saint....

4. Use cheap scales only, never the medical kind, because they are

always five pounds off...to your advantage.