that is just cruel and unneccesary, I would never say something that hurtful to my wife, I don't understand how some people can be so insensitive especially to someone they supposedly love.

love yourself and do it for yourself

Thanks to all especially if you didn't see my update in the same forum you are beautiful. xxxooo

I will save your names.!

my first husband told me after our son was born that he was attracted to me again cause I wasnt fat anymore, excuse me mister I was pregnant!! I thank the Lord everyday that he bought my new husband into my life , we support each other in everything.

i have not read thru the whole thread before responding, so i am sorry if this is "out of sync" with the rest of the thread.

sweetie, my heart aches for you when I read this. what right does he have to say these things. weight loss has to be for you, not for anyone else. I mean what if you lost an arm in an accident would he not want to be with you then..the vows go "for better or worse." I divorced my first husband for the very same issues. I agree with heme2kids, dont let this guy treat you this way...you do deserve better!!!!

take care, be well, my thoughts are with you..
metta

Wow that is just so wrong, I agree with what everyone else wrote its very rude and no way no how would I put up with it. Its a 2 way street and I think that u need to put a mirror in front of him and show him that he is not all that either and tell him that if he wants u to lose then u want him to lose. But I think its a far more reason that what hes letting on to be. Take care and good luck

A couple comments on this thread... I'm not the original poster but thought there was some wonderful advice. I'm so glad to see MisterE, RPavich and Yoda san weighing in (pun unintended) on the topic. Male voices of validation are important given the context of the issue, in conjunction with all the female voices of support!!

I have a question for Xplora, who wrote:
How and why did you wait?! Did the anger really fuel your weight loss? (I would wonder if the constant stress of being around Mr. Difficult wouldn't stall a person - just on hormonal defense mechanism grounds, eating for consolation notwithstanding!)

I have been reading everyone's posts - what support you have found here! I would like to add some more! I guess the first thing that really grabbed me is - I don't think 40 lbs is THAT overweight -sheesh shame on him. And I notice your weight goal and His do not mesh -right? If i read your goal right - don't you only have 15lbs to lose? If 170 is the weight YOU want to be - then dearest - BE IT! FOR YOU. This whole process is for US, not spouses, not class reunions, OURSELVES.

I have been at the other end of hurtful comments/actions by my husband. The first thing I needed was a professional counselor...I have seen two very empowering women...I would suggest you find one - it helped me more than i can say. (YOu may not be into it - but one of mine was "healie feelie" did some new teqniques on me..ohh it was great, AND I went and got massages! yummy) A counselor (man or woman - I chose a woman because i needed that enspiration) can teach you exactly how to dig down deep and find that strong woman waiting to come out...she has already started to rear her head....I see her...

Keep coming back here and soak up our encouraging comments (did you see that one from that nice MAN??!! - see that is a MAN saying your husband is wrong!)

I so feel for you...this comment will stay with you for a long time. You are hurting and need to take care of you right now.

I hope you and he can talk about this issue and how it made you feel... I agree with those that suggest counselling either alone or together it can make a world of difference... we are here for you

Spoken like a real man

Spoken by a real man!

I am really sorry Cheryl that your husband is an ass. Every person everywhere has the right to be respected .
You are worthy of love and respect like every other living thing in this world.