We did our first round of Mini IVF, same as the regular but less drugs, less side effects and few but better eggs. Anyway, it didn't go as planned, we started meds last week on Monday and I went in for my first check up on Friday and my ovary (only have one) was huge and I had to take a shot to stop ovulation from happening early. I was schedualed to egg retrieval on the next Friday, this was all happening a week early. That night I had to take several shots to prep me for egg retrieval on Sunday morning. We got to Sunday and only 2 eggs to retrieve, there were 4 others but didn't mature. They got the 2 eggs and tried to fertalize them, only one took, the other is gone. I'm rather upset about this but I do know that never every IVF treatment is successful. My Dr wouldn't answer my questions, I wanted to know why the eggs developed so quickly. They just kept telling me that 1-3 days is normal. This was a full week, not 3 days! I'm a little upset at the lack of answers about this.
While I was out, after the retrieval the Dr told BF that I would have to have 10 weeks of Projesterone (sp) shots after the eggs were implanted. He told me when we left the hopsital, I was shocked and mad. No one told me this before, we were told there was more medication with implanting the egg, but 10 weeks of those nasty, painful shots, they failed to mention that.
After egg retrieval, we went back to the house we were staying at. I cried the whole hour drive, really didn't know what to say, I just cried. We packed up, said our good byes and started home. I cried for the most part of 8 hours, it was aweful. I was mad at BF for putting me threw this, he really pushed to have children. I've gone threw a botched tubal reversal, hospitalized after for blood and pelvic infection. I've had to have an ovary removed from an infection several months later. I went along with IVF treatments, and now, I find out I have to take those nasty shots. I feel used, I feel unloved and I feel that all I am is an ovary to make babies.
I have a hunch its more the drugs and hormones talking but deep down this is how I feel. I tried to explain this to BF on the way home and he didn't get it. All he saw was a baby, no matter the cost or upset I become. We ended up pulling over along the Mo/Ill border along the river and having a discussion. I also told him that after this egg is put in and I take these shots, I'm done. I'm not willing to go threw the physical or mental pain of it all, I guess I'm not a strong person or a dutiful girlfriend at that. It was then that he started crying (finally I'm not the only one) and he started let his emotions out. It actually made me feel better that he had emotions and he cared about me!!!
We got on the interstate after that made our buts home in pretty quick time. No more talk on the subject, we talked about the kids, my rabbits and the work on the farm. It was nice making it home, my bed, some food and I was. . . content.
The next morning he stayed home with me to hear how the eggs faired being fertalized. I was exasted, weak and had a massive headache. I finally called at 2pm (they didn't call me) and found out that only one of the eggs fertalized. It was very upsetting, our chances go down at succeding with only 1 egg. On the plus side, I can't have twins!!!
I do feel better today and I'm glad I got all that off my chest the other day. I am still mad about the shots, I should have been told this before. When we went in for our consultation, I told the DR I didn't want anything to do with the painful drugs that hurt for days and give bruises. He told me this protocal wasn't that way. If this egg survives till next Friday, guess whos going to have 10 weeks worth of projesterone shots? Its not my BF!
Ok, ya I'm angry at him too. He wants a baby so bad he has forgoten whats improtant in a relationship. I had to remind of a little loudly the other day of who/what is important and another child falls just below us/me and our relationship. He told me if this time doesn't work, he wants to try again after fall (crops will be in and so will the money). I don't know if I can handle the stress and hormones. I'm not a strong person, the lady we stayed with had 3 babies from IVF, I guess she handled it better than me.
We came home on Sunday right after the egg retrieval. I hurt so bad yesterday in my ovarie that I couldn't even drive the tractor to bale hay. I tried, the bouncing hurt bad. I called for a replacement and walked home. I had to have help in my shower, I was so exausted I couldn't even hold my arms up long enough to wash my hair. Today I am tired, my pains come and go, some are severe, some are just an inconvience. My uterus is swollen still, feels like a bolling ball rolling around. I have to go pee alot because of the pressure from it. I opted out of a shower today, I'm not as bad as I was yesterday though. I did the absolute minimal today, chored the rabbits and chickens, and spent the rest of the day on the computer. I chored a second time and am making Pizza Quich for supper, comfort food.
My friend that we stayed with told me that all my feelings and emotions are natural and very commen and not to worry. I guess I'm just that kind of girl, a worrier. BF is home, picked a little out of the garden, and is making apple crisp for work tomorrow. I get to bring it in so I can eat lunch tomorrow
Normally I'm not allowed when grill out at work but this time they are being very nice and told me I can come. Afraid of my sudden hormonal temper and wrath?
Over all I'm in a better hu