Mon, Jul-14-08, 06:49
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at peace with myself
Posts: 1,202
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Plan: Healthy choices
Stats: 201/191.6/144
BF:
Progress: 16%
Location: guilt free state
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pleased yet horrified
I have now lost 8 lbs which brings me down to my pregnancy weight with daughter 10 years ago.
When I ballooned to 185 during pregnancy (55 lbs) I was just horrified. I had to work really hard to stay somewhat thin. It was a battle to just get 5-10 lbs off (I was lowfat/ high carb at the time)
185 is the weight where I gave up. I knew I would never really be able to get all of that weight off. I pretended that I would, but in my heart I knew.
For the past 10 years I bounced around from 179-166. I reached my lowest once I found low carb (153)...but I did not maintain at all.
I got pregnant again ...went up to 199...but I was taking better care of myself and the baby weight came off..back down to 176.
I hit a horribly emotional and stressful time in my life and stopped paying attention. Once I started paying attention, I was 193 (with no baby inside!)
So through LC this time I am down to my "give up" weight.....so I am pleased but horrified that I actually was as high as I was. I am happier here than at 193, but I see a long road ahead and I feel sad that I have to find joy in a weight that once scared me to death.
Onward and downward!
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