Well today was a light bulb moment for me. In the past I would have stopped or slowly slipped back into the carbage world. It's been 2+ months now and my motivation is not what it was. My "want" power is slipping. I've been trying to be very honest about my feelings and the triggers. This past weekend I had the mentality "a little will not hurt". I've noticed that at 20 lbs loss, I'm getting a little lazy. There are things I need to put in place to make sure I succeed. I can't not rely on "quick meals on the go". I can't not rely on "un-interesting and borning meals". I have to continue to cook, research recipes and explore new options.

I always start off nibbling on carby treats. It started out this weekend with 2small bags of chips and last night I took a bite of my husbands egg roll. Light blub moment ensued in the middle of the night.

I woke up and decided I would re-new my motivation and behave like I'm just starting out again. Those little slip ups can spiral downhill and I realized I was on the verge of letting that happen.

This thread is to remind me why I changed my way of eating and my lifestyle.


1. Bloating
2. Swollen feet and hands
3. Depression
4. Feeling uncomfortable being heavy
5. No energy
6. High Blood Pressure


Why did you choose this WOL?

I chose this way of eating because I knew that in the long run it'd work for me. I knew that I had to learn how to control my carb intake....I had been out of control!

For all those good reasons you wrote. I never wanted to be a morbidly obese woman again.

When I started out I knew that I had in the past, just like you, lost motivation midway. Got cocky....and let go. Not this time though and its now been ore than 8 yrs later.
I made myself a promise that I kept 100% as I lost my weight: to log my food in public daily in my journal here. It was tool that I learned when I went to FAA and OA and had a sponsor that I had to tell what I ate each day to keep my abstinence. That act made me accountable and I needed that. I used my journal here as that sponsor.

Once I broke into Onederland, it became very alluring to relax and put my feet up, so to speak. I had already lost almost 100 lbs....can't I just relax now? NO! I could not! I had to push through! I had to keep my promise to myself as I knew that doing that alone would be key for me. It was.

I have been struggling, as well, to keep the motivation. I come here daily to remind myself of the progress I've made. I like your list. The biggest one that I would add is that I used to be in so much more chronic pain. I don't ever want to return to that. But it so easy to have just one bite of this or that. I also keep a joural here and rereading that gives me motivation when I feel I am slipping. Best of luck to you and never give up!

Judy - you are such an inspiration to so many and I thank you for that. Your comment "on why I choose this WOL" was so helpful. I can't continue on this path of starting and stopping and I'm so glad I can get in touch with my feelings without being guilty or defensive. I have a ways to go, but in the past I would overlook these types of moments and excuse them away. It's no excuse to be morbid obese, out of breath, sick if we are able to do something about it. It's not easy, but my "want" power has to prevail.

Thanks again!

You're very welcome!

You might want to read this thread: http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthread.php?t=446518

I'm reading up on cognitive defusion. It sounds like a useful technique for dealing with thoughts like "A little won't hurt".

Honestly I don't crave. I think it's all self-sabotage behavior. My psychological mind. I've never been comfortable being smaller. I lost weight one time before and had tears in my eyes when I went shopping. I lingered in the plus size section for two hours. My Aunt was with me. She kept saying "Kim, you don't wear that size anymore". I was like "I don't like my clothes tight". I went from a size 22 to a 14 and I didn't ever get comfortable with it.

I cried when I went to the smaller section. It was too overwhelming. Too many choices. I finally left the store without buying anything. I never gained all the weight back, but it took me months to be comfortable buying a size 16. With me being an extrovert, I used humor to hide behind my weight and my low self-esteem. That attracted people to me, so I thought I was ok being FAT and was even more comfortable with it. I didn't want the extra attention.

Now that I see I'm making progress again I'm getting nervous. "One small bite won't hurt" is keeping me psychologically comfortable with what I'm use to.

Sorry if my thoughts are all over the place.

I did the same the first time I did this - lost 50 lbs, slacked off and gained it back again. "Just one", "it's my birthday", "It's Christmas", "just this once", "just today", "just this week", "I'll start again next month" - you know the drill. And then I was back to having pain in my feet, numbness in my hands, difficulty putting on my socks, running out of breath going up the stairs.....it sucked.

Perhaps joining the "Master of My Domain" challenge might help? When I started this last time, there were times when that challenge was the ONLY thing that kept me from going off track. Once you get a fair number of cheat-free days racked up, you're reluctant to throw them away and start over. Now I'm rockin' it.
http://forums.lowcarber.org/showthread.php?t=424799

Also, maybe counselling would be helpful (says she who avoids such things like the plague )? But seriously, if you do think it's a mindset thing and you can't overcome it by yourself, maybe some extra help can get you over the hump.

The important part of that thread was the bit about cognitive defusion. I think you should read up on it. I've always heard really good things about cognitive behavioral therapy. I think if anything can help us get a handle on the thoughts that derail us, it'd be that.

Thanks Nancy! I will defintely read it. I was at work need to focus on this issue.

I've been thinking about your post, Kim.
Like Mandra, I think that you may want to look into therapy at this time to have a place and person to look into this with you in private. I have used therapy several times in my life when I felt I needed to do that and its was always helpful.

I think that you need to start to ask yourself what this fear is about? Why do
want to wear baggy clothes? Why do you feel the need to hide your body? Did something happen?

Yes, I agree that there are many choices in the regular size deptartments. I think that we all need to find a style and look that we feel good in and choose things that we enjoy. I know that for me, I don't go for the latest fashion and stick to more classic looks. But I will go for the hot color of the season.

All so true Judy! Yes, a past that's less than desirable by any stretch of the imagination. But, I'm dealing with it. Thanks!

I seem to always gravitate towards the larger section. I'm a size 16 now and the size 16 is always the last size I try on before I concede.

Girl I got issues!

Color of the season - I wish I had a stylist, my closet is primarily black/grey with a splash of green and white.

Not a lot of time now but....what are your favorite colors?
Mine are perriwinkle blues, corals, pinks.


Also, look up Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman MD
A shrink I saw told me about it and it did help me.

http://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Recove...ma+and+recovery

Ummm, Trauma and Recovery ~ I defintely will.

Red is my favorite color. Hard to tell right!

I was like that, in fact I couldnt ever see myself thin and still saw a fat body looking at me in the mirror - even tho I knew I wasnt. I also had weird issues.... and this is going to sound incredible vain, but I found as I lost weight I was getting alot of male attention, something which hadnt happened when I was overweight. In those days I could flirt and joke without being taken seriously - I was just "Jolly fat Jo"!! As I lost weight it changed and I didnt feel comfortable flirting - indeed, neither did my husband!! But I didnt know how to change, so I became a bit of an introvert, which wasnt easy for me or good! I also didnt know how to dress, I was so used to "tents" and choosing clothes that hid the bulges. Losing weight meant I could buy a different style and I wasnt sure what that should be......I've sorted it now, with age and time, but I still have a few times when I have to tone down both the clothes and the personality - Life was easier when I was fat, I wasnt a threat or a catch to anyone!

Jo xxx