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  #1   ^
Old Sat, Sep-03-16, 19:56
bmore4now's Avatar
bmore4now bmore4now is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,342
 
Plan: LCHF
Stats: 218.5/203.8/150 Female 61
BF:
Progress: 21%
Location: East Coast
Unhappy Do you feel lonely on the journey......

It's only been 6 days since starting back and I've had one, yes... one friend visit. Normally, I'm pouring cocktails and cooking high carb foods and the phone is ringing asking "what are we doing tonight".

I told everyone that I'm changing my diet and stop drinking and now, I feel so lonely. Weird, when you making changes people just disappear. When you don't cater to folks they just move on. I'm so sick of users and people that can't support you no matter what changes you're trying to make.

It is a bit lonely and I do miss a nice vodka drink..... :

First goal: 199 and I have to remember I'm changing my life.
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  #2   ^
Old Sat, Sep-03-16, 20:30
GreekRibs's Avatar
GreekRibs GreekRibs is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,637
 
Plan: LCHF
Stats: 188/139/138 Female 5'9"
BF:
Progress: 98%
Location: Saskatchewan
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Hi B-more! I can understand it's an adjustment if you're social life was with friends around food and drink. That's prolly not uncommon to go through a period of time like this. In my life, all my family and friends were already healthy eaters. I was the only seriously carb-addicted person. I mean it was such an addiction, I mostly kept it from others and did my ridiculous binges and over-eating alone.

But if you are used to eating/drinking socially, it will take a while to orient yourself to new social activities that don't centre on time with friends through food/drink. That could be a fun adventure all on its own.

I feel healthy eating is a very holistic thing as, in your case, it's also touching on your social life. No doubt it's disappointing friends have disappeared when you're no longer catering for them!! The silver lining is you will find new friends who truly care about YOU.

I also found this site to be an enormous support so use it as much as you need to get through this rough patch.
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  #3   ^
Old Sat, Sep-03-16, 20:45
Ccat69's Avatar
Ccat69 Ccat69 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 468
 
Plan: LCHF
Stats: 163/133.2/130 Female 5'4"
BF:
Progress: 90%
Location: Upstate NY
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Bmore, my social life is mostly my family, so of course they're still here. It can be challenging, but we make it work. I bet you can too. My advice is to ask your friends over and make some dishes that work for all.

Tonight, my family had pizza. I ate the topping off a few pieces and had a leftover burger from last night, plus a cheese stick and a michelob ultra. Yesterday, I had the burger with lettuce, tomato, and a salad with homemade olive oil dressing. You can still eat properly around those that aren't, but it does take some planning and self control.
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  #4   ^
Old Sat, Sep-03-16, 22:51
katmeyster's Avatar
katmeyster katmeyster is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 918
 
Plan: Keto (LCHFMP) + IF
Stats: 265/188/150 Female 61 inches
BF:Highest weight 290
Progress: 67%
Location: Las Cruces, New Mexico
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As it becomes obvious that you are losing weight and getting healthier, some of those friends will probably become interested in what you are doing. I had a friend join me, and we talk a lot about our progress and our WOE among our other friends -- and some of them seem to be listening with interest.

Of course it's easier for me because we mostly meet for coffee and breakfast, and there's no alcohol involved. But I had everyone over for my house and everybody drank beer or wine -- I just had a few sips of wine and then drank sparkling water with lime for the rest of the evening. I had plenty of carb-free food, and then they brought carb food if they wanted. It was a great time!

This is how I'm going to eat for the rest of my life, so it's important to have some friends that understand the health benefits, and if they don't join you, they at least need to understand.
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  #5   ^
Old Sun, Sep-04-16, 09:00
Robin120's Avatar
Robin120 Robin120 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 3,925
 
Plan: low carb
Stats: 171/125/145 Female 5'9
BF:
Progress: 177%
Location: DC
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most of my friends follow strict diets, too- so it works fine (paleo or watching macros are the most common in our group).

For you:
1. first sending you a hug!
2. why not ask to meet up at restaurant, so everyone can order what he/she prefers. Soon enough, they will realize wings, chicken ceasar salads and burgers where you ignore the bun aren't so weird. then i am sure they will ant to come back to your parties. i would buy a pack of hotdog buns if serving burgers. just send leftovers home with someone. also, same for alcohol- unless it is too tempting for you.
(just as most people expect booze at a baby shower these days)
3. making new friends is always fun. have you tried meetup .com
it is a free site to meet new friends (not dating site!) with similar interests. if you pick something like hiking or skiing or any number of interests. i would go with an activity based group, so food isn't focus.

hang in there!
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  #6   ^
Old Sun, Sep-04-16, 09:41
JEY100's Avatar
JEY100 JEY100 is online now
To Good Health!
Posts: 9,491
 
Plan: IF Fung/LC Westman/Primal
Stats: 222/171/169 Female 5' 9"
BF:45%/25.3%/24%
Progress: 96%
Location: NC
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First, kudos to you for taking charge of your health! Too many of my friends' lives depend on eating out and drinking wine as the major focus of their social life and entertainment. They are obese and have a "sticky relationship" to alcohol, but blissfully continue (except one woman who got a diabetes and liver disease diagnosis).

No reason you can't continue to invite these friends, drinks and appetizers are especially easy make LC with very little effort; cheese, charcuterie, nuts, olives, hummus, veggies, sparkling flavored waters. Add in pita chips and drinks for them.
But as Robin said, you may also want to find friends with healthier habits...there are Paleo and Low Carb meet-ups and support groups around here.

To be fair, you have admitted restarting many times. Reading your thread titles since 2007, you have also quit drinking other times. Maybe these friends have heard it all before? Maybe it is time to read a low carb book to help you find a plan you can really stick to. Do you start drastic changes in your diet abruptly?..maybe a more gradual reduction in carbs would work for you? Consider the new South Beach gluten free plan or other lower carb solutions. Check out a few LC diet books from the library and decide which would work best for your personality.
If getting rid of all carbs at once is better, then follow only one plan to the letter. THe Atkins Induction plan in the sticky or the VLC plan in this free handbook works well, https://healclinics.com or the version of same diet in the very helpful and recommended Why we get Fat book.
Think of other ways to change your habits permanently. There are practical tips on Eating and Exercising in this thread:
http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthread.php?t=468195

Last edited by JEY100 : Mon, Sep-05-16 at 06:35.
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  #7   ^
Old Mon, Sep-05-16, 12:47
bmore4now's Avatar
bmore4now bmore4now is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,342
 
Plan: LCHF
Stats: 218.5/203.8/150 Female 61
BF:
Progress: 21%
Location: East Coast
Smile

Quote:
Originally Posted by GreekRibs
Hi B-more! I can understand it's an adjustment if you're social life was with friends around food and drink. That's prolly not uncommon to go through a period of time like this. In my life, all my family and friends were already healthy eaters. I was the only seriously carb-addicted person. I mean it was such an addiction, I mostly kept it from others and did my ridiculous binges and over-eating alone.

But if you are used to eating/drinking socially, it will take a while to orient yourself to new social activities that don't centre on time with friends through food/drink. That could be a fun adventure all on its own.

I feel healthy eating is a very holistic thing as, in your case, it's also touching on your social life. No doubt it's disappointing friends have disappeared when you're no longer catering for them!! The silver lining is you will find new friends who truly care about YOU.

I also found this site to be an enormous support so use it as much as you need to get through this rough patch.



Thanks for so much for responding. You are really blessed to have friends that are healthy around you. I guess you are right. This was a long weekend and no "fun". I'm not that sad, because the scale was nice to me, but you are right it's going to take a minute for me to adjust. I'm not use to my phone not ringing. Well, its a blessing. At least I don't have to deal with the temptation.

Happy Labor Day! Enjoy LCing!
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  #8   ^
Old Mon, Sep-05-16, 12:51
bmore4now's Avatar
bmore4now bmore4now is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,342
 
Plan: LCHF
Stats: 218.5/203.8/150 Female 61
BF:
Progress: 21%
Location: East Coast
Smile

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robin120
most of my friends follow strict diets, too- so it works fine (paleo or watching macros are the most common in our group).

For you:
1. first sending you a hug!
2. why not ask to meet up at restaurant, so everyone can order what he/she prefers. Soon enough, they will realize wings, chicken ceasar salads and burgers where you ignore the bun aren't so weird. then i am sure they will ant to come back to your parties. i would buy a pack of hotdog buns if serving burgers. just send leftovers home with someone. also, same for alcohol- unless it is too tempting for you.
(just as most people expect booze at a baby shower these days)
3. making new friends is always fun. have you tried meetup .com
it is a free site to meet new friends (not dating site!) with similar interests. if you pick something like hiking or skiing or any number of interests. i would go with an activity based group, so food isn't focus.

hang in there!

Thanks so much for the hug! How sweet... back to you!
You are right, but you know I was thinking... I'm going to take this time to build up my strength and make me stronger against temptation. It's probably a good thing. Early on, I can get so weak.

Once a get that first cocktail, even if just carb free vodka...... I can't top and then I'm on to chips and dip. I should be thankful!
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  #9   ^
Old Mon, Sep-05-16, 12:56
bmore4now's Avatar
bmore4now bmore4now is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,342
 
Plan: LCHF
Stats: 218.5/203.8/150 Female 61
BF:
Progress: 21%
Location: East Coast
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by JEY100
First, kudos to you for taking charge of your health! Too many of my friends' lives depend on eating out and drinking wine as the major focus of their social life and entertainment. They are obese and have a "sticky relationship" to alcohol, but blissfully continue (except one woman who got a diabetes and liver disease diagnosis).

No reason you can't continue to invite these friends, drinks and appetizers are especially easy make LC with very little effort; cheese, charcuterie, nuts, olives, hummus, veggies, sparkling flavored waters. Add in pita chips and drinks for them.
But as Robin said, you may also want to find friends with healthier habits...there are Paleo and Low Carb meet-ups and support groups around here.

To be fair, you have admitted restarting many times. Reading your thread titles since 2007, you have also quit drinking other times. Maybe these friends have heard it all before? Maybe it is time to read a low carb book to help you find a plan you can really stick to. Do you start drastic changes in your diet abruptly?..maybe a more gradual reduction in carbs would work for you? Consider the new South Beach gluten free plan or other lower carb solutions. Check out a few LC diet books from the library and decide which would work best for your personality.
If getting rid of all carbs at once is better, then follow only one plan to the letter. THe Atkins Induction plan in the sticky or the VLC plan in this free handbook works well, https://healclinics.com or the version of same diet in the very helpful and recommended Why we get Fat book.
Think of other ways to change your habits permanently. There are practical tips on Eating and Exercising in this thread:
http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthread.php?t=468195


Hello there! Thanks for responding. You are so right about my friends "hearing it all before". I've been at it so dang long and you are probably correct they probably are tired of hearing about it.

Thanks so much for all the advice!! Never even thought about another diet. I lost 42lbs once on Atkins and just know this works, but you're right...it might not be the thing for me. So far, I do love Atkins... I just get derailed so dang easy.
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  #10   ^
Old Mon, Sep-05-16, 13:02
GreekRibs's Avatar
GreekRibs GreekRibs is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,637
 
Plan: LCHF
Stats: 188/139/138 Female 5'9"
BF:
Progress: 98%
Location: Saskatchewan
Default

I found you in your journal
I had a quiet long weekend too, but I felt good with just a little bit of visiting with my sister and with a friend. I always marvel at my sister's woe. She is not low carb, yet she eats such healthy things all the time. Lots of salads. My sons and I used to joke after eating dinner at her place, we'd often feel hungry.
They eat small portions and loads of veggies. The only offender is her dear husband who hides potato chips in the garage They like to tease him - they find evidence in his armchair when they vacuum.

Happy Labor Day to you also.
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  #11   ^
Old Mon, Sep-05-16, 13:11
bmore4now's Avatar
bmore4now bmore4now is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,342
 
Plan: LCHF
Stats: 218.5/203.8/150 Female 61
BF:
Progress: 21%
Location: East Coast
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by GreekRibs
I found you in your journal
I had a quiet long weekend too, but I felt good with just a little bit of visiting with my sister and with a friend. I always marvel at my sister's woe. She is not low carb, yet she eats such healthy things all the time. Lots of salads. My sons and I used to joke after eating dinner at her place, we'd often feel hungry.
They eat small portions and loads of veggies. The only offender is her dear husband who hides potato chips in the garage They like to tease him - they find evidence in his armchair when they vacuum.

Happy Labor Day to you also.

That's soooo funny! I'm addicted to chips too. I can not have them around at all. I don't do sweets at all, so I can have tons of sweets around me and I'm not tempted at all. I can't even tell you the last time I had ice cream. Just doesn't appeal to me at all.

Oh and feeling hungry after visiting your sister....I have that problem with an Aunt, but her food is just not tasty... lol. So we nibble until it's time to leave. Off to fast food! LOL
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  #12   ^
Old Tue, Sep-06-16, 09:26
Nancy LC's Avatar
Nancy LC Nancy LC is offline
Experimenter
Posts: 45,206
 
Plan: Paleo 99.5%
Stats: 210/170/160 Female 67.5"
BF:
Progress: 80%
Location: San Diego, CA
Default

I think sometimes that "friends" don't like you being a shining example of good living because they see their own reflection and they're not happy with it. Come live in the mud with us! :-)

It is like any addiction. The way to get clear of it isn't to hang out with the crowd that shoots up (or whatever they do these days). You gotta find friends that will support and elevate you, not drag you back down.
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  #13   ^
Old Tue, Sep-06-16, 11:35
bmore4now's Avatar
bmore4now bmore4now is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,342
 
Plan: LCHF
Stats: 218.5/203.8/150 Female 61
BF:
Progress: 21%
Location: East Coast
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nancy LC
I think sometimes that "friends" don't like you being a shining example of good living because they see their own reflection and they're not happy with it. Come live in the mud with us! :-)

It is like any addiction. The way to get clear of it isn't to hang out with the crowd that shoots up (or whatever they do these days). You gotta find friends that will support and elevate you, not drag you back down.

Awwww Nancy.. Thanks! I would love to live in the mud with you guys! Can we have some bacon there toooo! hahaha!

AMEN! You said a mouth full. I have draggers for sure! I should be thankful! Smooches to you!
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