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  #1   ^
Old Thu, Apr-09-15, 14:51
Tuatara's Avatar
Tuatara Tuatara is offline
New Member
Posts: 13
 
Plan: LCHF
Stats: 220/196/187 Female 170 cm
BF:
Progress: 73%
Location: New Zealand
Default Am I greedy?

Ok, so I am copying and pasting from my journal entry today, and I'm not sure whether this is frowned on in the forums (if so, I apologise, I'm a newbie!), but I just feel like I want to say this and get feedback on it, because it has been such a powerful thought for me.

I know other people have come to this realisation, and it's old news in many ways to other low-carb eaters. But it has just struck me with the force of a personal revelation: what this LCHF way of eating has taught me is...

I AM NOT GREEDY.

I always thought I was a greedy person! I must be, I want to eat all the time, and even when I eat, I'm often thinking about the next meal or snack immediately afterwards. I made peace with that, I decided, right let's be honest about yourself, you are just a greedy person, and you are always going to have to struggle with greed! I divided the world into two camps: the greedy and the not-greedy; I assumed that my being greedy was something I had inherited from my food-loving, booze-loving, hedonistic, type-2 diabetic father, and that was that.

When I lost almost 20kgs ten years ago on the standard calorie-controlled, low-fat (and low-sugar ergo slightly lower carb, though not by design) diet, I struggled every single day for two years with constant thoughts of food, constant hunger. And I put that down to greed. "I just don't have an 'off' button," I would explain to myself and others. It took a massive effort of will to keep it up that long. I put almost all the weight back on a few years later, of course, and again I attributed that to my natural greed.

But now...

I'm eating LCHF, and I am not greedy. I eat as much as I want, and I don't feel hungry and food-obsessed all the time. I am slowly losing body fat, and I am not feeling deprived. Occasionally I feel resentful that I can't eat things I used to enjoy - but really very occasionally, and it's a totally different feeling, a feeling of the mind but not the body. What's gone is that powerful, uncontrollable hunger, that feeling of being on auto-pilot, like a heat-seeking missile looking for food.

And so I can't help thinking, am I NOT a greedy person? Was I NEVER a greedy person? Does greedy even have any meaning for me anymore?

I use to OWN greedy. I owned it to avoid other people putting me down with it. But maybe I wasn't greedy, just hungry. An out of control hunger driven by carbohydrates and their effects on my brain and my blood sugars. And now it's gone - that is astounding to me. That is the thing more than any other, that makes me feel so happy about eating this way.

One other part of this realisation - I feel kinder towards other people, like my dad - who I have always loved, but always felt impatient towards, mentally labelling him as greedy, judging him, just like I judged myself. In him I saw the results of our shared greed.

Now I think, jeez, my poor dad. His real hunger, his real attitudes to food and drink are hidden under that carb addiction/intolerance and alcohol addiction. And he may never uncover them, considering that he is dying from diabetic complications.

I feel so sad about my dad, but I forgive him for being so sick (I know that sounds like I'm crazy, but tbh I really think I have been blaming him for years).

He's made some bad choices in his life (about other things), but choices about eating and drinking were high-jacked away from him, right inside his brain.

Phew. That was a hard one to write!
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  #2   ^
Old Fri, Apr-10-15, 10:31
ReneeH20 ReneeH20 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,011
 
Plan: Dr. Westman
Stats: 280/170/170 Female 69.8 in
BF:
Progress: 100%
Default

I can so relate to what you are saying. I am only 3 months in on this WOE, but I am astounded at the difference in my life. The auto-pilot carb seeking (love the heat seeking missile reference) is gone.

We have been fed a line of BS that because we are overweight we are lazy or greedy or have the character defect of no will power. Really all it was carbs all along. It was the low fat high sugar diet. It feels like a different kind of freedom.

I also have a father that has the same issue with food and weight. He doesn't have diabetes (yet), but has multiple health problems. I am concerned about him and his health. He has also done some rather uncharacteristic things in the last 5 years, too. I am starting wonder if his diet is affecting him mentally.
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  #3   ^
Old Fri, Apr-10-15, 10:37
msmum1977's Avatar
msmum1977 msmum1977 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,172
 
Plan: VLC/Carnivore
Stats: 369/301/299 Female 5'9"
BF:too much.
Progress: 97%
Location: Eastern Ontario, Canada
Default

I am often amazed I forget about food. The only time that happens is when I'm on a lowcarb diet. Before that I could literally eat and eat and eat and never be full
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  #4   ^
Old Fri, Apr-10-15, 17:22
beckah54's Avatar
beckah54 beckah54 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 631
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 227/201.2/170 Female 5' 7.5"
BF:Too much!
Progress: 45%
Location: Ohio
Default

Great post!! I'm glad you shared your thoughts with us.

I think most of us have negative thoughts about our weight and how we got so heavy. I feel on my part, it was lack of self esteem, not loving myself enough to take care of my health. I too felt greedy, always feeling hungry. Thank you Dr. Atkins for writing your books to help us learn a new way to eat. I will be forever grateful!
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  #5   ^
Old Sat, Apr-11-15, 05:55
Whofan's Avatar
Whofan Whofan is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,550
 
Plan: Low Carb Primal
Stats: 170/135/135 Female 5ft.6in.
BF:
Progress: 100%
Location: New York Metro area
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tuatara
choices about eating and drinking were high-jacked away from him, right inside his brain.



That's a perfect description of what happens to us on the standard high carb diet. So happy for you being off that rollercoaster.

I experienced the same startling revelation as you when I went low carb and no longer wanted to stuff food into my mouth all day every day. I always thought I was weak-willed and then found out it had nothing to do with willpower whatsoever!

It still makes me angry to think about all those decades of manipulation by a food industry that always knew darn well it was hooking us on carbs - and even angrier at the wrong advice from medical, nutritional, and governmental agencies who are paid to protect us and did nothing.

It breaks my heart to see fat, sick people where I work who think they are "greedy" or "weak-willed". They've either given up the fight and eat uncontrollably or they valiantly try, and fail, to white-knuckle their hunger for the rest of the day after a healthywholegrain morning bagel.
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  #6   ^
Old Sat, Apr-11-15, 07:22
zoran zoran is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 50
 
Plan: P.L.A.N
Stats: 266/244/191 Male 76
BF:
Progress: 29%
Default

Its about the cravings for me. I used to crave chocolate so bad I would get dressed at 4am and walk to the 7-11 in zombie mode. Thank god thats history
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  #7   ^
Old Sat, Apr-11-15, 08:34
slimby30's Avatar
slimby30 slimby30 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 576
 
Plan: Keto
Stats: 190/182/140 Female 162 cm
BF:
Progress: 16%
Location: Toronto
Default

I can so relate.

On a "regular" high carb diet I get my exercise from trip to the kitchen, and while eating a granola bar I'd be toasting a bagel for my next snack. Greedy was an understatement.

It's an addiction, and it's so hard to kick off because the drug is all over the place, and others have it in front of you ALL the time..
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  #8   ^
Old Sat, Apr-11-15, 10:10
ojoj's Avatar
ojoj ojoj is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 3,184
 
Plan: atkins
Stats: 210/126/127 Female 5ft 7in
BF:
Progress: 101%
Location: South of England
Default

yep, all day long. Something sweet...something savoury.... something sweet.... that would be on top of three big meals a day

Its addiction. I can see that now, Its like smoking or alcoholism, you can break it and you're free, but you cant go back!

Jo xxx
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  #9   ^
Old Sun, Apr-12-15, 19:56
Tuatara's Avatar
Tuatara Tuatara is offline
New Member
Posts: 13
 
Plan: LCHF
Stats: 220/196/187 Female 170 cm
BF:
Progress: 73%
Location: New Zealand
Default

Wow, it's so nice to hear other people who feel the same way!
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  #10   ^
Old Sun, Apr-12-15, 20:27
Jamackarch's Avatar
Jamackarch Jamackarch is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 3,221
 
Plan: hflc
Stats: 166/159/125 Female 5'2"
BF:
Progress: 17%
Location: Pacific Northwest
Default

...just a briliant post. perfect.
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  #11   ^
Old Mon, Apr-13-15, 08:45
WereBear's Avatar
WereBear WereBear is offline
Posts: 9,877
 
Plan: Epi-Paleo/IF
Stats: 220/162/150 Female 67
BF:
Progress: 83%
Location: USA
Default

I can so relate. I used to eat a "healthy" meal of pasta with low fat sauce and a salad with no-fat dressing... and about an hour later I'd ready to rip the fridge door off its hinges.

And eat it.

It wasn't me. It was eating stuff that really wasn't healthy!
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  #12   ^
Old Mon, Apr-13-15, 14:01
Tuatara's Avatar
Tuatara Tuatara is offline
New Member
Posts: 13
 
Plan: LCHF
Stats: 220/196/187 Female 170 cm
BF:
Progress: 73%
Location: New Zealand
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by zoran
Its about the cravings for me. I used to crave chocolate so bad I would get dressed at 4am and walk to the 7-11 in zombie mode. Thank god thats history


Ha, it was chips for me (potato or corn chips). I remember having a huge fight with my then boyfriend because I said casually "I'm just going to walk up to the 24/7 garage and get a bag of Twisties" and he said very reasonably "at 11.30pm, isn't that a bit ridiculous?" I still remember the rising panic I had at the thought of not getting those chips...

Thank you to everyone who has commented and who can relate, it means a lot to be understood. And I'm so happy I broke through my mistrust of "fad" diets and picked up a low carb book at the library!
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  #13   ^
Old Mon, Apr-13-15, 14:10
Tuatara's Avatar
Tuatara Tuatara is offline
New Member
Posts: 13
 
Plan: LCHF
Stats: 220/196/187 Female 170 cm
BF:
Progress: 73%
Location: New Zealand
Default

And ReneeH, I'm so sorry that your dad is struggling with these health problems too. My dad changed a lot after his type 2 was diagnosed, I sometimes wonder about the effects on the brain too, particularly as he never really managed his blood sugars, just took the pills until he had to start injecting insulin. Mind you, he did adjust his diet as per doctors orders: to lots of "healthy whole grains" and low fat foods - sigh. But alcohol has always been an issue, and he could never stop drinking so that would have also had its effect too, of course. He lost his sense of humour, to a large extent, and that is what makes me the most sad.
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  #14   ^
Old Tue, Apr-14-15, 08:59
Whofan's Avatar
Whofan Whofan is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,550
 
Plan: Low Carb Primal
Stats: 170/135/135 Female 5ft.6in.
BF:
Progress: 100%
Location: New York Metro area
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by zoran
Its about the cravings for me. I used to crave chocolate so bad I would get dressed at 4am and walk to the 7-11 in zombie mode. Thank god thats history


It was bread for me. I've had to get out of bed in the middle of the night and drive to the 7/11 for bread. Had one slice of toast when I got back home and then was able to go to sleep. As you say, thank God those days are over.
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  #15   ^
Old Wed, Jun-24-15, 11:45
OtherCher2's Avatar
OtherCher2 OtherCher2 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 850
 
Plan: LCHF
Stats: 215/158.6/145 Female 5'6"
BF:Follows Behind Me!
Progress: 81%
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
Default

OH Tuatara! Your post really hit me hard. I always thought I was a greedy pig. If someone brought a cake to work, I would eat a piece with everyone else, find a way to sneak a second piece later in the day, and THEN find a way to take a third piece home! I wasn't even that embarrassed (I should have been mortified). The craving for sugar/carbs was so great that my food bill was enormous each month.
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