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  #1   ^
Old Mon, Mar-01-04, 20:54
orchidday's Avatar
orchidday orchidday is offline
Posts: 3,589
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 286/261/160 Female 5'8"
BF:BMI43.5%/39.7%/24%
Progress: 20%
Location: Florida
Talking Journal Etiquette

I made friends with a woman who was a member of the forum for quite awhile but then dropped out of the forum but not low-carbing. We have had lunch a few times and enjoy visiting and comparing low-carb notes. We had lunch a couple of weeks ago and she expressed that she had dropped out of the forum because she was unable to make more friends and didn't feel a part of things. We discussed some thoughts and I hope she will come back!

1-When you see an interesting post or someone you have something in common with go ahead and drop into their journal to say hello! Some journals are very private but a vast majority of forum members appreciate visitors and support.

2-When you are busy sometimes you can only reply back to a visitor in your own journal. But remember, that person might not see the post you left for them in your own journal or read the comment you left for them.

3- Think of your journal as your online "home" and remember that friendship is mutual.....if you do not visit other people's journals but only "receive" guests they will quit coming over! Friendship needs to be a 50/50 proposition.

4- Be patient. People's lives can be hectic and we can't know for sure why someone hasn't posted in awhile or dropped by to say hello. Even good friends occassionally get out of touch. Drop in and say hello when someone is missing but don't take it personally - life goes on with or without the forum.

5- Avoid arguments and hostility when visiting a journal. It should generally be avoided anyplace on the forum but doing it in a journal is just not good.

6- It is generally not a good idea to respond to other people within someone's journal. Go to that person's journal for the response and let the journal remain that persons.

7- Remember that this is a very different communication method compared to speaking in real time. Don't be too quick to judge comments as you cannot hear the inflection, or at times, fully understand the meaning of a statement. People have different writing styles and it can take awhile to get the hang of someone else's style.

8- If you don't like what is in someone's journal - don't read it! Each of us has a different personality and sometimes we just don't "click". That is okay! No reason to comment upon it.

9- This is such a fabulous way to get to know people that we would never meet in real time. We represent every race, age, geographic location, religion, political view, sexual orientation, socio economic class, etc. etc. etc. We really can learn from broadening our horizons and welcoming this wonderful diversity into our lives. We may not always understand others or agree with them about things but you can be sure that there is something we can learn from each person!

10- Some people are just shy or do not like to communicate in writing very much. They are just as valued on this forum as those of us who are more outgoing and like to write. Everyone has something valuable to add!

I hope that our discussion helped my friend and that she will decide to come back! I am sure others on the forum have ideas as well!

Orchid
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  #2   ^
Old Mon, Mar-01-04, 21:03
diemde's Avatar
diemde diemde is offline
Posts: 7,547
 
Plan: lower carb
Stats: 333/199.8/172 Female 5'8"
BF:??/39.0/25
Progress: 83%
Location: Central Ohio
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Great post Orchid!

I've often wondered how to explain to the newer folks how journaling works here. It is so different that what I thought a journal was! When I first started, I just used my journal to record my notes to myself. It took a couple of months for me to understand that you really do make friends here by popping in to other peoples journals, introducing yourself and offering them encouragement! Then they come and post in your journal and pretty soon you are communicationg back and forth via the journals. It was a real eye opener when it started happening for me. And it's really very motivational.

Thanks for sharing your tips!
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  #3   ^
Old Mon, Mar-01-04, 21:08
Zymi's Avatar
Zymi Zymi is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 398
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 000/000/000 Female 5'5.5
BF:
Progress: 0%
Location: Washington State
Default

Thanks for the information Orchid and Diemde I wasn't quite understanding the significance of the journal until now. I was thinking it's just a recording of what you ate and how your day was...I do that in a paper journal, so I didn't bother with it online. Now I know! hehehe
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  #4   ^
Old Mon, Mar-01-04, 21:18
Keisha's Avatar
Keisha Keisha is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 336
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 192.5/169/145 Female 5'9''
BF:
Progress: 49%
Location: Warkworth. New Zealand
Thumbs up

I agree 110 % with Orchidday's comments, and as a newby I am quite thrilled when anyone responds to me or writes in my journal...it's like getting a nice card through the mail ! Perhaps we should all make an effort to respond to at least 1 or 2 people each time we come on to the forum !! This is a really great way to communicate.
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  #5   ^
Old Mon, Mar-01-04, 21:46
hummelda's Avatar
hummelda hummelda is offline
~Return to Reality~
Posts: 8,506
 
Plan: LCHF also RNY Bypass
Stats: 288.8/205.8/159 Female 5'7"
BF:I/don't/know
Progress: 64%
Location: Niagara-OTL, ON, Canada
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Great post, Orchid!! You hit the nail right on the head. There is so much more that goes on in journals than is apparent through the posts on this part of the forum.
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  #6   ^
Old Mon, Mar-01-04, 22:06
newme2b's Avatar
newme2b newme2b is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 89
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 234/224/125 Female 62
BF:
Progress: 9%
Location: Chilliwack, BC
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Thanks for the heads up on the journals. I had thought these were private sort of journals and so hadn't gotten around to making one. Will have to spend some time poking around in that area.
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  #7   ^
Old Mon, Mar-01-04, 22:38
Bjuba's Avatar
Bjuba Bjuba is offline
Contributing Member
Posts: 384
 
Plan: Atkins Like
Stats: 266.5/231/160 Female 5' 7"
BF:50.06%/42.96%/25%
Progress: 33%
Location: Vancouver Isl. BC Canada
Lightbulb

This thread should be a 'sticky' and remain on top of the board. Great post, Orchid!! It took me a long time to realize that when I post a reply in my journal the person I am replying too does not get a post notification!
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  #8   ^
Old Mon, Mar-01-04, 23:19
Saweetie's Avatar
Saweetie Saweetie is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 517
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 297/264.5/180 Female 5'8
BF:3rd/attempt/toLC
Progress: 28%
Location: Nanaimo,B.C. Canada
Default

Each time I have fallen off the wagon it usually has corelated with not logging on this site and not posting in my journal. This time around I have activly been posting in some others and have been finding posts in mine. It is really nice to know people are really rooting for you...and your rooting for them!

Great Post and I hope your friend comes back too!! I've felt the same way as her. Especially when you drop into some of the Long-time members journals and see all the posts from various people. You can kinda feel left ouT!

Thanks OrchidDay
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  #9   ^
Old Tue, Mar-02-04, 00:40
Charran's Avatar
Charran Charran is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 9,052
 
Plan: my own
Stats: 253/199.4/153 Female 5 feet 7 inches
BF:
Progress: 54%
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Great post Orchid! I hope everyone reads it! It sure gives alot to think about! I know I really appreciate it when someone comes around ...even if its just to say a quick hi! It really lets you know that people are out there rooting for you and thinking about you!
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  #10   ^
Old Tue, Mar-02-04, 07:38
ValerieL's Avatar
ValerieL ValerieL is offline
Bouncy!
Posts: 9,388
 
Plan: Atkins Maintenance
Stats: 297/173.3/150 Female 5'7" (top weight 340)
BF:41%/31%/??%
Progress: 84%
Location: Burlington, ON
Default

Excellent post!

Like others have said, I didn't know how the journals worked when I got here, it's only been in the past couple of weeks that I began to understand. You've done a great service to newbies by letting them know right away how to get more involved by using the journals.

I agree that this should be a sticky (or added into the how to make a journal sticky) so that people know.

Thanks,
Valerie
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  #11   ^
Old Tue, Mar-02-04, 07:43
tulips tulips is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 850
 
Plan: Atkins/W.W.
Stats: 401/299/170 Female 67
BF:
Progress: 44%
Location: Mich
Default

Great point orchidday!!!! No one should feel left out...
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  #12   ^
Old Thu, Mar-11-04, 12:11
lollaleelo lollaleelo is offline
New Member
Posts: 11
 
Plan: low carb Warrior
Stats: 212/167/150 Female 5'7"
BF:
Progress: 73%
Location: NY
Default

Somewhat o/t, but I love your screen name, Orchidday. Is there a story about how you chose it?
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  #13   ^
Old Thu, Mar-11-04, 14:10
orchidday's Avatar
orchidday orchidday is offline
Posts: 3,589
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 286/261/160 Female 5'8"
BF:BMI43.5%/39.7%/24%
Progress: 20%
Location: Florida
Default

Thanks so much Lolla! I live in Central Florida and my hobby is raising orchids on my screened porch. I have a chair out there where I like to sit and contemplate life. The day I signed up for the forum I couldn't think of anything real creative and I remembered sitting out there that morning admiring the flowers. That is how my name was born!

Welcome to the forum Llola and congrats on your terrific loss thus far!

Orchid
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  #14   ^
Old Thu, Mar-11-04, 15:07
Paris Paris is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,816
 
Plan: IF & Paleo
Stats: 270/254/150 Female 68 inches
BF:--- too much!
Progress: 13%
Location: Oregon
Default

I third making this a sticky - truly a wonderful post!

One of the reasons I chose this site to post on and make my "home" is because of the journals. It's a great way to express oneself and make new friends.
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  #15   ^
Old Thu, Mar-11-04, 15:22
AntiM's Avatar
AntiM AntiM is offline
... Pro-Atkins!
Posts: 1,705
 
Plan: General LC
Stats: 312/274/220 Female 5'11"
BF:
Progress: 41%
Location: Tacoma, WA
Default

Thanks for starting this thread, Orchid.

90% of my time is spent in the journals of friends I've made here. Sometimes I don't even have time to check out what's going on in the TDC - case in point, I'm only seeing this thread for the first time!

A few times I've had people post that they hope they're not offending me by dropping by my journal. What? Of course not!! However, It sure makes me wonder if I've offended others ... I sure hope not.

I've been here a year and have come to the point where there are literally too many people I want to talk with. I see fascinating posts all the time - but if I started corresponding with everyone, and at the rate I type, I'm going to need to hire a transcriptionist!

At one time, I almost quit the forum. For different reasons than your friend, Orchid, but I also felt like I didn't fit. I can't tell you all how glad I am that I stayed!

Just like LC in general, I found I had to stick with the forum long enough to form a good relationship.
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