I've been thinking about writing this for many months. I probably could've written it a while ago but I wanted to wait until I saw my goal weight on the scale to make it official. I saw it last Sunday, 12/18/05. I lost a total of 114 lbs in 20 months. I started my journey on 4/25/04 right before my 54th birthday. My story is long and winding but I will try to make it as readable as possible.
Before I begin, I want to say that this forum has made it possible for me to get where I so desperately wanted to go. I am deeply grateful for this. The daily support, the challenges, journaling my food each day, have all been integral parts of my success...this time!! THANK YOU!! to all the moderators here for making this the wonderful place that it is!!
I've always been a few pounds overweight and for a 5'8" female, I can hide alot of extra pounds. My best weight was 150 in my early 30s but I was always trying to get to 140 and always ended up back at 180.
I was a typical yo-yo dieter. I can thank my mom for this because as a teen weighing between 150 and 160, my mom thought I was fat and took me to get diet meds from doctors several times....Thanks mom!!
In 1978, I decided to enter into a behavior mod plan with a hypnotherapist who put me on a diabetic diet which was naturally low carb....I went from 180 to 140 in about 5 months. I will spare you the gory details of that year of my life but suffice it to say, it was a doooooozy!! When I reacted to all of the crap going on in my life at the time, a big bag of chips became my new best friend and an end to my seeing the scale at 140. I can honestly admit to not really knowing about carbs at that point in my life eventhough I had just lost 40 lbs eating chicken/fish/veggies and a little fruit each day. But I never forgot how it did work for my body!!
I spent the years of my 30s going up and down the scale never going over 180 and always striving to get back to where I had been. In 1987, I was 37 yrs old and had started a small business that was not doing well and I was very scared that I'd fail. I ate over this along with other issues that I also ate over, my weight started creeping up to 187. its funny that I can recall my weights at these different times in my life.
Between my 37th year and my 40th year, I was well over 200 and freaking out.....Weight Watchers saw me 5 times...then Jenny Craig, then Optifast and medifast with no success at all. By the time I was 41, I was about 280 lbs and totally depressed and horribly ashamed of myself and my body.
I spent my 40s going from diet to diet, did the fenfen thing for a few years when it was popular and would eat pints of ice cream thinking that the pills would take care of the icecream...what a jerk I was!!
I finally got myself into OA and learned about my compulsive eating. I used food to self medicate, to numb my bad feelings about myself. I ended up back in therapy to decipher what was going on and what I would need to do to get healthy. I was going to OA meeting from 1996 to 1998 and followed the Food Addicts Anonymous food plan, which is No Sugar, NO Flour, No Wheat...but which still left me with rice and potatoes...which for me was bad. I got my weight down to about 210 but could not get past that and soon gave up. But I did not forget what I had learned in OA ie: tools for managing my compulsive eating, venting when I'm angry, writing about my feelings, getting my feelings up and out of me instead of stuffing them down with food. Turning my food over to my sponsor, after I ate it, made me accountable for the first time in my life...this worked for me.
But the food plan was still not right for me and I gave up once again and gained it all back and went back up to about 270 lbs....once again miserable, isolated and depressed.
Which brings me to April 2004....when I first learned of South Beach and read the book. I was told about this site by a friend and joined up on my first visit. My addiction to message boards has come in very handy!! I was scared because I felt that if I failed this time, that I'd be doomed to grow old as a morbidly obese woman.
I was committed to being successful......I found myself open to learning a new way of eating....I was committed to learning how to eat and not be on a diet. I was no longer defensive about hearing new ideas and accepted coaching.Thanks Bill!
I will share with you that I've modified South Beach to suit my needs. I rarely ate any flour, even whole grain flour, while in losing mode. Flour is one of my substances and I did need to avoid it until I got a handle on my weight. So while the plan calls for 2-3 starch servings daily, I ate starch 2-3 times per week. I did and do eat fruit daily. I don't eat fat free dairy but do eat reduced fat. I've made this plan work for me.....I think that any plan needs to be tailored to the individual's needs.
Once I made my commitment to this, it seemed to just flow out of me. I never wavered in my focus....I went through each day logging all my food knowing that it was keeping me accountable. I ate mostly on plan and learned alot about my body as I went along. Here is my weight chart from MYPLAN:
So this is it....I am now officially in maintenance and am deliriously happy with myself.i I love wearing a size 10!!
I'm sure that I've left out some things and will come back and add stuff as I recall it.
If I can do this at my age...anyone can do it!!
My very best to you on your journey!!